Want Women To Hit On You? (New For Oct 10/16)

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A few years ago while doing some work at a real jazz radio station in Toronto I had the pleasure of meeting Ken Burns of NPR fame. Ken (pictured above) who only looked about 15 at the time had just released his documentary on Jazz and was at the station as a special celebrity guest to help them out with their fundraising. While being interviewed by the know-it-all afternoon drive host it quickly became apparent that the guy had an axe to grind and had been laying in wait for Ken. In the very first few minutes of the interview, he literally tore into him about all the great players that he’d missed in his documentary but Ken claimed that he’d got them all and more. In fact, Ken said that he had interviewed everybody who was even remotely anybody. This only made the host even angrier so he loudly said, “are you trying to tell me that these guys aren’t anybody” then proceeded to read off a list that he must have prepared earlier. Ken heard him out and with a smile on his lips agreed that not only were they great players but that he’d actually interviewed each and every one of them. Unfortunately, Ken continued, they had nothing interesting to say so I had to leave them on the cutting room floor.

A BUNCH OF OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

The more unique it is the more valuable it is.

The past exists only when you think about it.
 
It’s always good to think big while wallowing in life’s smallest pleasures.
 
OK by now there has to be one good thing to come out of consolidation. I’ll wait!
 
Brent Farris claims that dating girls who are 49ers fans is the best ’cause they love to party and aren’t expecting a ring anytime soon.
 
If you wanna be a radio star do your show only for those who are not listening.
 
A leader like an artist must have the ability to make others see what they see.
 
I wonder how many other countries also claim to be the best in the world.
 
Paraphrasing George Orwell a little, I believe that real news is when the newscaster tells me the truth about something that somebody else doesn’t want me to hear. The rest is just publicity.
 
How come being a straight white American male doesn’t feel as privileged and powerful as those who ain’t claim that I am?
 
In order to be a “has been” one needs to have been someone special.
 
One of the worst things that can happen to you us attaining your goal ’cause you must have aimed too low.
 
My heart goes out to all the people who suffer from some form of depression and to those who hang in there and love them.
 
Don’t you wish sometimes that you there was a special ladder that you could use to climb out of your life.

 
The instructions on how to think out of the box are unfortunately printed on the outside of the lid.

The thing that keeps sex special is women still claim that they have no idea what we’re talking about when we naughty talk ’em.

How come when you finally confess your love the unusual places where you used to make love immediately come off the … Let’s do it again list.

The only way to get women to hit on you in a public place is to walk in with a beautiful woman.They get to practice their flirting skills with you with no fear of you leaving her to hit on them.

To most women when they get married they are already living their dream whereas a man may just be beginning his.

 
How do college athletes afford hair extensions?

The people who complain the loudest and longest about how badly things are going probably the folks who caused most of the chaos.

Sports has never been about the players, the owners, or the fans, it’s always been about the game.

When John first heard “Lies” by the Knickerbockers he claimed that he didn’t remember recording it.

Sometimes my own needs get in the way of other people’s needs.

Have you ever heard the oil companies promise low prices if we allow them to drill in sensitive places, nope just their usual bullshit about how we always need more, no we don’t!

Good memories are the greatest gift one can ever receive.

Unfortunately Mr. Businessman can’t help himself so during hurricane Mathew some of them were charging triple room rates and $6-$9 for a gallon of gas.

For a sneak peek at upcoming Blogs under construction and some that you may have missed, simply go to GeorgeJohns.com. Also on Twitter @GeoOnTheRadio.
 
 

Who Do I Have To F#*k. (New for Oct 03/16) #4 of my 12 most read Blogs in 2016

When Randy Bachman left The Guess Who he formed a group called Brave Belt along with Chad Allan the former front man of the Guess Who. Randy’s brother Gary (pictured with me) who managed the band finally felt that he had to tell Randy that it was time for him to lose the James Taylor shit and do what he did best and what he had always done best was to rock. He also suggested that his brother needed to check out Frend Turner at a local Winnipeg club as soon as he could to hear him sing “The House Of The Rising Sun.” Yhe only thing wrong with that plan was that Randy who was a Morman wasn’t allowed to go into a club unless he was playing in it. Gary solved the dilema by throwing open the fire escape doors at exactly 10:00 PM the next night so Randy who was standing in the parking lot could hear Fred sing the Animals legindary tune and Bachman Turner Overdrive was born at that very moment.
 
A BUNCH MORE STUFF IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER….
 
In order to get it you may need to deserve it.
 
You should do your radio show for the type of people you want listening to it.
 
I remember when other nations used to wait for America to invent a new radio format, now they try to sell us theirs.
 
The way it usually works is when a radio person sells a campaign it was good salesmanship that got it done but when they lose one it was always about bad ratings.
 
Speaking of sales I believe that most people advertise to move product not because commercials are cheap.
 
A radio station’s financial success is based on how much you can charge for a commercial not how little..
 
At the age of 30 most women lose their appetite for bars and new music.
 
There are actually six sides to every story not two.
 
If you control the language you control the room and the budget.
 
Firing people is a lot easier than starting fires in them.
 
Nobody will ever offer you a piece of the rock you always have to ask for it.
 
The fastest way to get the billing up on a radio station is by hiring more sales people.
 
Rich guys only like to share the downside.
 
Surrounding yourself with people smarter than you makes you the smartest person in the room. 
 
Speaking of smart, every time you realise that something is possible you just got a whole lot smarter.
 
The brain only has so much capacity for memories so in order to remember something you have to forget something. What would you like to forget?
 
The reason there is so much negativity in the world is because the dark side is 10 times more powerful than the brighter side.
 
Being normal gets you a free ticket to nowhere.
 
Most successful people owe their success to a lot of other people.
 
It’s easy to make a good living if you’re doing what you love doing.
 
If you wanna make a lot of money you have to be the best in the world at something.
 
The quest of a man should be to become what his 4-year old already thinks he is.
 
To most people opportunity just looks like more work.
 
Unhappiness may be best be described as being in the place between what you have and what you have not.
 
I know of no beautiful woman searching for equality.
 
My obligation to a woman shows up when she claims that she loves me. 
 
You can’t go around or sidestep failure, you’ve gotta blast right through it.
 
You only need to do one thing really well in order to become successful.

When I was a kid I wanted my hair to look like Tony Curtis’ but I never even got close. RIP Tony.

Speaking of Tony Curtis legend has it that when he and Kirk Douglas and were doing an epic desert movie together they were sitting in their deck chairs underneath the boiling sun waiting to be called as a thousand extras were riding back and forth across the sand. Wiping the sweat and sand off his brow Kirk finally turned to Tony and said, “who the hell do I have to f##k to get off this movie set”.

Joe Amaturo was the one who suggested that my attending the Manitoba Institute of Technology was too many words and needed to be shortened for my resume to MIT.

I loved how at Vin Scully’s special night at Dodger stadium when each player came up to bat they took off their hat and saluted Vin up in the broadcast booth.

Watching the debate I realized that I was just watching two rich people arguing about how they were gonna distribute my money because they’ve already got theirs protected.

Hey DC we the middle class are the economy so we don’t ask we demand representation or we’re gonna scare the hell out of you. (looks like we did huh)

For a sneak peek at Blogs under construction or a re-peek at some old ones, go to GeorgeJohns.com. On Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio.

 

 

 
 

King John’s Son. (New Sept 26/16) #8 of my 12 most read Blogs for 2016

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While dining one evening with the Hilliard’s (pictured) at the Ritz Carlton in Aspen, I asked our server whether he recommended the salmon or the chicken. With a holier than thou British accent he replied, “only the Colonel makes good chicken sir.” Not being able to distinguish between the various accents of the Brits, I asked where he was from and when he proudly replied Wales I couldn’t resist telling him that I had a Welsh name. Without missing a beat and through clenched teeth he queried “and just what Welsh name would that be sir.” When I replied Johns, he said … Ahh, the son of King John! This, of course, ended any research I may have had on the subject.

MORE NON-PC THOUGHTS ABOUT VARIOUS SUBJECTS

I predict that the NFL players who don’t stand for the national anthem won’t ever be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I also predict that a bunch of them won’t have any money at the end of their career because as smart as they appear to be about their rights, some will be too dumb to wear a condom. Can you say tons of child support!

There is no greedier woman than a scorned one.

Won’t is 10 times stronger than will.

Can’t is also right up there.

You first have to decide what you want out of life before you begin to go after it.

The most creative thing about radio today is what they name the format.

Some stereotyping is well deserved.

Would you care about breaking the law if it meant you had a shot at saving your child’s life?

Just because you haven’t personally seen it doesn’t mean it does not exist.

Gifted people are only comfortable hanging out with each other but creative people can hang with anybody.

An apology with an excuse is not an apology.
Why do people who never take advice insist on giving it?

Listening to advice requires a lot more brainpower than giving it does.

Nature has a way of reminding you of how small you really are.

Fear is a great motivator but you have to learn how to master it or it will master you.

Money doesn’t make an ugly woman pretty but it works wonders for a man.

Refraining from saying something you mean or saying something you don’t mean is called acting in Hollywood but not tolerated elsewhere.

Love and hate are closely related but indifference sure ain’t.

I only get angry with the people I care about.

How can anybody miss the fact that the first part of show business begins with show?

The new big idea is everything until the smallest of details brings you to your knees.

Even though over 300 million listen to radio and yet the leaders of radio can’t figure out how to make a buck. Time for new fools I figure.

When you see the movie “Spotlight” it kinda makes you look at religion differently huh?

Has anybody thought to ask where all those protesters in Charolotte came from?

Being old and wise has a very short shelf life.

Wow the hunny bunny just turned 33, don’t remember having a plan for that.

There’s not a lot of growth available for know-it-alls.

So if The Dolphins and Texans can’t beat New England’s 3rd string Quarterback, what the hell is the rest of the NFL gonna do when Brady comes back rested and also pissed.

I’m much better than all of my enemies but not yet equal to most of my friends.

Sad, Arnie and Chong are both gone.

For a sneak peek at some upcoming Blogs or a look back at others go to GeorgeJohns.com. On Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio

 

 

The Nays May Have It. (New Sept 19/16)

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I started my radio career as a board op at CKY in Winnipeg where I had so much fun that even when I left to become the program director of CKOM in Saskatoon I vowed to return. For the longest time my career goal was just to be good enough to be hired back at CKY as their new PD but fate had a total different plan for me. Even though I never did achieve my dream job back at CKY I did get to return some 15 years later as their programming consultant.
CKY at that time was owned by Moffat Communications who owned several other very successful radio stations in western Canada. However even though things were going very well for them I was told that there was some trouble brewing in Calgary. It turnrd out that even though the moring team in Calgary were higly rated the company's president didn't like them and wanted them gone. The local GM not anxious to blow up a successful morning show if he could help it finally persuaded the prez to commision a research project with Kurt Hanson’s company to find out what the folks in Calgary thought about the morning folks. When the project was completed everyone gathered around in the boardroom to hear Kurt’s findings. Kurt claimed that the research showed that the morning team was even more popular than their ratings and the president responded by saying that he didn't care ’cause he still didn't like them. Kurt’s response to that was … Well it looks like the nays have it!

OTHER STUFF I'VE BEEN PONDERING….

It really doesn't matter if you coulda played in the majors, all that matters is … Did ya?

The best thing about having excellent ratings is that you're now free to finally do something special.

The only thing powerful enough to end a friendship with an old buddy is a new woman.

Without knowing who you are you can never become who you wanna be.

If in the future if an electric car breaks the sound barrier what kind of sound will it make?

There’s are two kinds of AC formats, foreground and background and two types of  women who listen to them. Those with babies and those without.

Speaking of women how do all of them except for my daughters know what a lap dance is?

There are all kinds of 20 and 40-year-old ladies in a bar but there are very few 30-year-olds. They left to make babies.

Comments made by the significant others of great people are usually insignificant.

As time goes by less and less of what used to make sense does anymore.

The government shouldn't be working on how we pay for health care they should be working on how we make it affordable by stomping the gougers.

Patent is just another word meaning monopoly.

Good enough is greatnesses worst enemy.

Creativity is defined as doing something new or doing something very old in a brand new way.

You have to be born gifted but not to worry because you can learn how to be creative.

When you say something you know not to be true or withhold something that is, you're lying, or as Hollywood likes to call it, acting.

I find it strange that I  hear Gordon Lightfoot tunes on the radio all the time except for "Black Day In July."

The thing that all men who have beautiful women have in common is that they're all very successful.

A woman doesn't have to be dating a guy in order to sleep with him.

As I have often told my daughters, the right guy is the guy who'll die for you but there's no rush to find him 'cause your dad's got that part covered. Although I could use a good assistant.

Every story even at it's worst is still at least half true.

Luckily for us, our forefathers wrote the history about how North America was settled otherwise we'd look despicable.

Working harder on something that doesn't work doesn't make it work.

Nobody under 25 uses Facebook anymore other than girls in other countries who want me to be their "Sugar Daddy."

The problem that most stars have is that they outlive their fame.

It's never about what's right it's always about what's legal.

I was attracted to bands and radio because of the various kinds of audio that they produced. Unfortunately, my life though went by at the speed of light instead of the speed of sound which I would have much preferred.

If you are given money to do nothing eventually you will become too weak to do anything.

Other than the white house is soon gonna house an idiot at least I can be pissed at whoever it is without being called a racist.

I did some smart things in my life but the dumbest thing I ever did was not get a good education. That cost me plenty.

I find it amazing that the fools who overpaid for radio stations at some point decided that they didn't need radio people to do radio when in fact it's only them that aren't needed. What do they do?

So how cool was this, when Paul recently attended the premiere showing of Ron Howard’s new film 8 Days A Week he wore one of his old Beatle suits and of course Beatle Boots.

When we enter the workplace we leave our freedom of speech behind so I can’t imagine why it would be any different for a football player just because his workplace is called a stadium?

For sneak peeks at upcoming or past Blogs go to GeorgeJohns.com. On Twitter@GeoOfTheRadio

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