We Are Becoming Animals!

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Congrats to my long time buddy Reid Reker (pictured) whom I have known and worked with for over 30 years. Reid is leaving the Casinos of Vegas to become part of the radio work force once again as he heads to Georgia to run a bunch of Radio stations for Cumulus. Good for him and good he’s pumped about what lies ahead.

I read somewhere that humans are the only creatures on earth who have hair. Everything else has some sort of fur.

Speaking of hair I think there is only about 3 or 4% of the people on the planet who have red hair. I think they should rise up and demand something. Hell only 7% of folks are Gay and look what a force they are.

If it was just as tough to get married as it is to get divorced I think a lot more marriages would work out a whole lot better.

I don’t think you grow more patient as you get older I think you grow less caring.

Life looks totally different to the person sitting across the table from you.

You can not afford to live on a half million a year in fact you’ll probably go bankrupt.

Sometimes the power going off can be a good thing right Hunny Bunny!

Is there anybody more famous than the replacement referees. But now that it’s over I doubt very much they can cash in on it so maybe they just better stick to their day jobs.

Reading Tim Moore’s excellent Blog today he wrote about Oscar Wilde’s quote that there are two tragedies in life … One not getting what one wants the other being actually getting what one wants. It reminded about once reading an advertisement in a an airline magazine (if you fly as much as I do you will read anything) The particular ad said this company could help you deal with very stressful times such as Divorce, Bankruptcy, Death of a loved one, Being fired, Becoming very ill, Losing money and Success. Success are you kidding me isn’t that what every American strives for. Yes that’s true they do but unfortunately they only prepare themselves for failure and actually have no plan for success so when it happens it soon turns into a tragedy.

In the 60’s the Lovin’ Spoonful had a hit called “Do You Believe In Magic” most adults answer that question with a resounding No! Children on the other hand believe in magic so are very bored by magicians, where as most adults are very mystified by them and exclaim loudly after each trick, hey how the hell did he do that! With that in mind please explain love to me.

Why are all the planets perfectly round. Even the Moon that supposedly just a piece of the Earth that was chipped off when an Asteroid struck us is also perfectly round.

Our goal as humans should be to separate and distance ourselves from the animal kingdom. But it seems to me that because of PC and Human Rights issues we seem to be actually moving in the opposite direction.

Let me see if I’ve got this right now … “Holding On To What You Have Keeps You From Having What You Want”

Wow it’s already a year ago that my Daughters Candis and Cami threw me a hell of a Birthday party in San Diego. I was humbled by how many of my friends showed up from all over North America but it has to end. These years are going by a way too quick, I have to put a stop to this nonsense this runaway train needs to slow down. From now on there there will be no more birthdays for me … They just make you old!

Speaking of Birthdays, The greatest Birthday gift I ever received was Candis Leslie Johns who was born the day after me. Happy Birthday Candis, I love you very much.

What I have never understood is how anybody could think that a record company actually deserved more money from Beatle music than the Beatles did. Hell you can go to school and learn how to become a Record Company. Show me the school that can make you a Beatle.

I just saw something on the History channel that claims the USA has enough evil stuff in storage to eliminate every human being on Earth. Wow no wonder we’re not the Soup Du Jour in most countries.

What I loved most about Reagan was he fixed the economy by starting a War but nobody got killed. What part of that doesn’t Bush and Obama get.

There are no rewards or punishments based on your behavior, only consequences.

As I write this at 38,000 feet a nice flight attendant has just bought me a Bloody Mary because she claims I have a great sense of humor. The Hunny Bunny agrees but she also thinks I’m smart but maybe that’s because I buy her drinks.

Speaking of nice ladies, Linda Stein says I shouldn’t listen to other people I should only hear what the people involved in the situation say. What say you about that phone girl!

Just saw a T-Shirt that read … “CANADA” – Living The American Dream Without The Violence Since 1867.


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My good friend Gary Russell has just completed doing one of those bucket list trips you only dream about. He and “Young Joan” left Vancouver in early June and camped their way across Canada. They’ve just arrived at mile 0 of the Trans-Canada highway which is in Newfoundland and is at the most easterly part of North America. Wow the Pacific to the Atlantic what a way to spend a Canadian summer!

Bill Stairs says the horns weren’t honking at the Hunny Bunny’s ass as she suggested while we were walking down the street in South Miami recently. He claimed they were all really honking at me out of sheer admiration because I was the lucky Man who was with the Woman with the great ass.

I have spent my whole life trying to be somebody but it turns out the only person I should have been trying to convince about it was myself.

Have you ever noticed that the people who continually try to drag you down are the people who are already below you.

Sometimes if you do some decent things in life God rewards you. If you are one of the few lucky ones to receive that great gift, your only goal should be to just enjoy your special reward and not worry about whether or not you deserve it. You do!

Bob Christy who used to be a legendary Womanizer until tamed by the lovely Janny Cakes was mentioning in a recent e mail that Gordie Howe was the only Hockey player ever to play professionally for 5 decades. Bob who now can only reminisce about his days as a fine cox man has put together his own version of “The Gordie” He sent out a small questionnaire to a bunch of us asking whether any of us has had the good fortune to have made love to women who were born in different decades. You know like from the 30,s 40,s 50,s etc. If you were lucky enough to have made love to at least 5 different women born in 5 different decades you win a “Gordie” plus of course everybody’s respect and admiration and maybe even a commemorative T- shirt which would be presented at the annual get together Bob is planning. Looking back at past lovemaking is not a difficult task for most Men because we unlike most Women can remember everyone we ever slept with mainly because we want to. After some deep thinking on Bobby’s part he won the first ever Gordie because he remembered once bedding a woman who was born in 1939 when she was home visiting from College back when Bobby was but a young high schooler. I wonder who was zooming whom huh! After probing my own past and being mostly a one Woman at a time Man unlike my friends some of who were world class womanizers, I surprisingly discovered I’m the only one in our group so far who has accomplished this feat not for 5 but an amazing 6 decades. Bob said he would give anything to tie my record but he knows Jan would kill him. The good news is I’m his new hero the bad news is I’ve still got all the scars and general lack of funds to prove my Gordie +1 .

Being a logical person I have a very difficult time believing something when it isn’t very logical. Lately though I’ve been thinking I may need to logically re think that and just find a logic that will better fit the situation at hand.

I spend most of my time looking for reasons to believe but all I keep coming up with are reasons I should leave.

I need the names of the fools who came up with the plan that even after a Country goes to war with you and you kick it’s ass who ever owned everything still owns everything after the war even though they were manufacturing bombs and stuff to hurt us. All the Native Americans know is the new plan must have gone into effect shortly after they were the ones who used to own everything.

Have you ever noticed we tolerate the truth from our friends but the truth from some of our enemies kinda sounds like insolence and needs to be dealt with.

I think Radio sounded better when there were a lot more regulations about content. The creative folks always figured out how to get around rules and by doing so produced some award winning Radio.

Most Women when entering a new relationship claim they haven’t made love in over a year.

Speaking of regulations I understand the banks who got us into the mess we’re in now because they also didn’t have enough regulations are screaming now for even less.

Special times are measured only in breathless moments, not by the hours, days, weeks, months, years, or decades.

I drive an old SUV which has seen better days and is starting to break down occasionally. The other day something shorted out and the windows were stuck down plus the windshield wipers and speedometer didn’t work. So I decided to drive it to the train station which is in the middle of the hood and took the train to my office in Ft. Lauderdale. After a full day I was ready to jump back aboard the train and head back to West Palm Beach but no matter where I looked I couldn’t find my keys. I got back on the train anyway and decided to take a cab from the train station to my place where I had a spare key. When I got to West Palm there were my keys hanging from the ignition with the windows all down and the doors unlocked unbelievable that it was still there. I bet the thieves were eying my truck all day long but figured this is a way too easy and must be a set up there’s gotta be some TV cameras somewhere. Damn that would have been the perfect solution for getting rid of my truck.

One of the four ways you die is when you stop learning. So I guess that must mean all experts are dead men walking.


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Burton Cummings (The Guess Who) mentioned he was still having trouble coping with his Mother’s passing last May. His words brought back the memory of my Father (pictured) who died during the busiest time of my career. I spent most of time on planes in those days criss crossing North America. One day while flying lord knows where I was gazing out of the plane’s window sorta daydreaming and looking down at the beautiful white billowy clouds below us and for some reason with a tear in my eye I started thinking about how much I missed my Dad. Suddenly from out of nowhere I was startled by the sound of his voice saying … Don’t be sad about me Son I’m very happy and am doing just fine but I’m not so sure about you. I wish you were taking better care of yourself and you also need to start working on your own happiness instead of just working. I love you and am very proud of you and with that his voice was gone. I have been at peace about him ever since. I must admit though that it’s still tough being an orphan at any age.

It’s bad enough if you constantly lie but when you start believing your own lies it soon becomes a disaster.

Nothing travels faster than the bad news of your bad rating book.

Tim Moore says the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

If you ever wonder whether you’re crazy or not, you’re not. Crazy people don’t wonder about such nonsense.

Sexy and Sensuous are two entirely different things but the combination is devastating and almost impossible to resist.

There is a question that I have been wasting too much time thinking about for too many years. “If A Tree Falls In The Forrest And There Is No One There To Hear It fall, does It Make Any Noise” Both yes and no could be argued but the answer I have come up with which I hope Cami will have the opportunity someday to try on one of her teachers is … A tree falling in the forrest makes the same sound whether you are there to hear it or not.

I have an extremely tough time following my own advice.

We all know what others should do to fix their lives it’s what do we do to fix our own that’s so confusing.

It feels like only a few weeks ago we were celebrating Cami’s “Sweet Sixteen” birthday party but now her 17th is almost here. How the hell do I slow this out of control speeding train down. Whew!

I just read somewhere that it takes about 25 years of hard work to become an overnight success.

The Hunny Bunny revealed to me that the secret of Victoria’s Secret is they welcome men into the dressing rooms. They figure at the very least it doubles the sales.

Speaking of the Hunny Bunny, while waiting for the Nissan dealer in South Miami to fix the brakes on her Z 350 we decided to walk the block and half to a Cuban Restaurant for some lunch. On the way there I heard several cars honking and seeing as traffic wasn’t bad I finally said … What the hell are those people honking at? She replied … My Ass!

I wonder what kind of a place America would be if the people who didn’t pay income tax didn’t get to vote.

Is it just me or are the guys who play the 4 Seasons in “Jersey Boys” better than the originals.

True love comes from the heart not from the mouth … Action is always better than words.

You really shouldn’t believe everything you think.

I spend a lot of my time looking for reasons to believe but still finding lots of reasons telling me to leave.

If you really want to do something you’ll figure out how to do it and if you don’t you’ll figure out an excuse not to.

Because we learn more from our mistakes than anything it would seem to me that wisdom like talent must come from the dark side too.

Sometimes your fear of losing someone actually causes you to lose them.

Have you ever noticed you never see a McDonald’s under construction, they just sorta show up.

If you are lusting after something you’ve never had before then you are most likely going to have to do something to get it you’ve never done before.

When somebody leaves you it doesn’t make them a bad person it just means their part in your story is over.


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A long time ago back in my hometown of Winnipeg Monarch Wear who made faded Jeans called Tee Jays which Jimmy Darin helped make famous with his very unique Radio commercials sponsored a concert featuring all the best local talent called The Tee Jay Cavalcade Of Stars.
They took a photo of those of us involved in the project and I happened to be standing next to Burton Cummings which I just recently did again albeit more than 45 years later at the CKY Reunion along with Jimmy Darin and Deno Corrie.(see pictures) Boy some of the tales Burton and I could tell about all the great things that happened to us both during the years in between would just amaze you.

Sometimes you just have to walk away from the people who cause all the drama in your life. You need to only hang out with the people who make you laugh and make you feel good. Your goal should be to love the people who treat you right and ignore all the others. You only pass this way once enjoy yourself!

When a Woman is done with you sometimes she can get very mean and nasty because after all she is never expected to act like a Gentleman.

It’s pretty funny when Women use “Man Talk” to describe certain situations. I’m pretty sure they don’t fully understand what they are really saying when they to refer to a sales presentation as a “Dog & Pony Show” or talk about a good looking Mother of their child’s friend as being a “MILF” or even saying they are really “Up” for a certain project.

Most people think we are all born with good instincts and the bad ones are learned later in life. We are all born with most of our instincts already in place and most of these instincts are very self serving and are based solely on our own survival not Mankind’s. There is after all nothing more selfish or demanding than a so called innocent child.

The guitar my friend Randy Bachman used on American Woman is in the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame but he ain’t. What Bullshit!

It really doesn’t matter how many times you fall because your job is to get up again. Being the last man standing is what it’s all about.

I truly believe that we as Men become less interesting to Women when we finally give them what ever it was they most wanted from us in the first place.

40 years ago today the Internet was born at UCLA.

I think the first mention of PMS was in the Bible because it stated rather clearly and without a lot of fanfare that Mary rode Joseph’s Ass all the way to Bethlehem.

A long time ago when my Brother Reg and I were partners in a company called Fairwest. At some point we started going in different directions because he was tiring of talking to the so called talent who were really just Dee Jays. I was still OK with most of them but Reg started moving more and more into promotions that delivered both Ratings and Revenue. I was still just chasing Ratings and needed a guy like Sam Zell who once told Randy Michaels to give up chasing ratings and chase money instead. All I know is it sure turned out a lot better for Reg than it did for me. I gotta wonder though what Randy wouldn’t give for some super great ratings today.

You just cant stop talking about all the things you care about.

The other day my Daughter Cami sent me a picture of some beautiful Roses she received from some guy named Daryl. Her accompanying quote was …. Daddy, You’re now not the only Man who has ever sent me flowers! In further inquiring about Daryl as Fathers tend to do I found out he is a Senior, not so good news but glad he’s still in school, but the real good news is he recently moved to Australia. Ahh ya gotta love those long distant relationships unless of course you are in one.

I think the main reason you need to go to school is to discover what was taught to the generation before you thats not true anymore or maybe never was.

I’m either extremely excited or kinda bummed.

Wow at 300 Million Ringo Starr is the richest drummer in the World. I guess Mick and Keith don’t share real well Charlie.

One of my “good” friends must of signed me up for a dating service because I keep getting e mail invitations from women my age who want to meet me. I’m sure they are very nice people but I’m a little distracted at the moment by the Hunny Bunny!

As you go through life you discover people around you generally fall into 3 categories those for you, those against you and those who don’t give a s**t. Your quest should be to always take care of those for you and keep your eye on those against you.

Years ago we all thought fellow Winnipegger Marshall McLuhan had said “The Medium Is The Message” and a few of us modeled our Radio Stations using that which worked out rather well. Turns out what he really said was “The Medium Is The Massage” What the hell do we do now Alfie?

Failure Is Very Loud!

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For some reason I never tire of doing the in depth research required in order to find out what Women want out of life. I of course specificaly want to know what they would like most to hear or not hear on the Radio. Here I am again continuing to work on that very project at my favorite research facility along with my favorite research subject.

If the sex is good most Men will hang in there but I doubt that’s true of Women.

To be a great lover you need to be passionate and have a vivid imagination. Of course a little courage may also come in handy so you can actually have the nerve to attempt to do what it is your fertile mind has dreamt up for your special night of nights. The lingering fear of rejection that crawls through your brain at that very moment makes all of us a bit timid. But then again isn’t it the risk of rejection that makes it all so thrilling in the first place.

Wow an American Hero Neil Armstrong is gone and another Armstrong has been dethroned. Who are the hero’s today and why do we keep destroying them. Where have all the hero’s gone long time passing.

They are paying Bank and Oil executives so much money now you would think they must be solving World Peace instead of what they are really doing which I’m sure causes great concern all over the world.

I think America was a better place to live when Banks and Oil companies were afraid of the government.

Who you really are is the person you were at your worst moment.

Have you ever noticed your failures are a hell of a lot louder than your successes!

It has been my experience that if there is a wrong way to do things Radio sales people will generally find it.

Speaking of wrong ways of doing things I remember when WRMF was flying high and out billing everybody 3 to 1. Russ Morley who was the PD and midday jock came out of the studio during the middle of his show one day and in a rage threw a cart down the hall shouting … That piece of s**t commercial will never play on this Radio Station again but I’m not done with it yet because after my show I’m gonna hunt down the person who sold it.

The highest billing stations in America never used to be very sales friendly. I’m sure thats not very true today.

At Fairbanks we used to dream up things the listeners would find interesting first then give it a sales twist.

Wow they were testing an new Hi Def system at the London Olympics that has 16 times the resolution of our current HD TVs. Sounds like a must have item to me.

OK so here’s the drill … First we celebrate Cami’s 17th birthday then we vote for a President.

Robin Marshall claims I should take Candis’ advice and not be “Super Dad” to Cami because I’m just going to make it impossible for her future Husband to live up to my image thus ruining her shot at a decent marriage.

Speaking of Robins, Robin Garrett informs me that a friend of hers was laid off after 30 years of service at the Palm Beach Post. Seems they are going to out source her job to India which is very strange because they are a very liberal Newspaper and according to what I read in their own paper only extreme right wingers do this kinda stuff.

Indian folk lore claims there are two Wolves who constantly fight within us. One is Evil and consists of anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. The other is Good and is filled with Joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy and truth. The Wolf who wins the battle is the one you feed. Whew, can I ever relate to that!

Bob Dylan says you have achieved success if you can get up every morning and go to bed every night and do anything you want in between.

The hardest part of any project is the beginning.

The Hunny Bunny claims that too much of a good thing is just that … It’s too much!

Speaking of the Hunny Bunny she was the one that explained to me that Women love the “Guitar Gods” but not necessarily their music.

Are there any Radio people left in Radio anymore.

The only Radio Sales folks who like the older demos are old Radio folks.

Absolutely everything starts with imagination.