Blondes Are Charity Cases!

Download PDF

222321_141068389299418_2969810_nWow, Jo Jo’s video “Bitch It Up” got over a 100, 000 views on You Tube already and it’s less than a week old. 

I have given most of my money away to a charity called blondes perhaps you may have heard of it and have also contributed and like me thought in the beginning thought it was a very worthy cause

Good news! Apparently the ban at Duffy’s has been lifted so once again short shorts and titty shirts are back in style again. Hey you can only watch so much sports! 

He who harnesses the data wins!

 
Shakespeare used to write instructions to the actors right into his plays. I find myself doing the same in my humble musings.
 
Doug Herman reminded me that one my favorite quote actually comes from a Tom T Hall tune. Upon re listening I noticed I had left out the most important part. The tune actually goes, “Faster (horses) Cars, Younger Women, Older Whiskey, and More Money”. I’ve been lucky enough to have more than my fair share of the first three but they also may be responsible for me not having much of the fourth.
 
I think I’m going to advise my Grandson Nathaniel to just chase the money if he gets that the other 3 automatically show up!  
 
Is it easier to quick smoking or leave a beautiful Woman?
 
I’ve been married once, engaged twice and been in love five times, now I’m ready for #6, bring her on!
 
If you don’t follow your own dreams you will end up following the dreams of others.
 
One of the great things about our country is we have the right to choose whom you want to worship but you don’t have the right to choose who I worship.
 
You are who you are when you do what you do when nobody is watching you.
 
You also are whomever signs your checks says you are.
 
Sometimes the squeaky wheel doesn’t get greased, it gets replaced.
 
Is there too much money between us and the cure for Cancer.
 
If Women are really fashion conscious how come they never ask us on the phone what we are wearing.
 
Everyone is self motivated you just have to find out what they like to do then let them do it.
 
Is it the stress of the divorce that causes a Woman to lose 20 pounds or have they figured something out.
 

I’ve been told that the way to figure out if a guy watches porn is simply to find out if he has access to a computer.

Willie Parasuik one of our more brilliant Transcona escapees told me the three things you need to be successful … Tenacity, Tolerance, and Curiosity!
 
Why do we feel compelled to tell beautiful Women what they would like to do to them. I think they know.
 
Who the hell wears those PPM devices.
 
Why does married life resemble the life the Bride was already living long before the wedding.
 
Most Men are not making love as often as they would like to but most Women are making love often than they would really like to and God just chuckles.
 
When you hang around folks better than you a strange thing happens, you get better too.
 
Who cancelled the coffee break.
 
One of the ways to avoid sexual harassment charges is just don’t do it or simply be attractive.
 
The only way to make Radio commercials palatable is embed them or do them as well as most Super Bowl ads.
 
The rich are just another one of the many minorities the government protects. The rest of us are on our own!
 
Music Radio is just like a restaurant to me, the first thing you need to do is find out what kind of food the folks like to eat most of the time then serve that up all of the time.
 
I kinda have always known what’s wrong with me and why but I have absolutely no idea how to fix it so I think I’ll just play through.
 

What ever happened to the person who used to take the minutes at every meeting or are we just not saying anything worth writing down.

When Lawrence Amaturo left Radio in Santa Rosa he got the last great deal now he is coming back and he has the first good deal.
 
To be any good at anything you have to spend a lotta time in uncharted waters.
 

Just like you’re not prepared to lose a loved one or go through a divorce, success is as equally stressful.

The upside of each project must at least match the downside or I would think the project isn’t worth doing.

The real problem with May-December relationships and I am the expert! You are not welcome in her world and she is not welcome in yours!

 

 
 
 

 

 
 

 

 

 



 

#3 All Time. Radio Geo’s Media Blog (Adult Content) Published 4/20/13

Download PDF

I’ve known Joasia, shown above and below, with me for over 25 years, but I had no idea she was this naughty, or I would have been all over her.
Check her out on the link at the bottom of the page.

GEO’S LIFE-LINERS

The wonderful world you live in may, in fact, only be a figment of your imagination.

Greatness is usually accomplished by a person who is out of time.
The only thing that really makes life worth living is dying!

I wonder how different the world would be if it was against the law to lie at any time.

One Man walking the talk adds up to a way more than the 50 who are talkin’ it.

I have finally figured out you have to ask for what you want because seldom does a nice surprise show up.

Isn’t it strange that some Women you thought were beautiful when you first met them become less attractive as you get to know them, just as some of the not-so-attractive become beautiful during the same time period?

One must think about the future in order to have one.

Just ’cause I don’t say anything about it doesn’t mean I don’t know all about it!

Everything already exists, we just haven’t discovered it yet.

Why would I care what some group calling themselves minorities want, I only care about deserving individuals not a bunch of people who became part of a group in order to be noisier.

Why would the press interview the V/P of marketing about anything. I wonder what kind of spin they would try to put on this year’s Boston Marathon to try and discount the bombings.

Most Women have about a 10-year window to find the Man of their dreams because that’s when they are at their best.

Well, it looks like Obama is afraid of the same evil characters the Presidents who came before him were so don’t expect the Banks, the Oil Companies, and the Pharmaceutical companies to get warm and fuzzy anytime soon. 

I knew I was in trouble the day Jim West said … I know you’re overbooked, but I just received a large certified check asking if you had room for one more client, and from where I sit, you look like you’ve got room. The real problem was I agreed with him.

If you don’t believe in magic, I’ve just gotta hear your explanation of love.

My Nephew Jamie Boychuk, who is a “suit” in the railroad business, says “Unlike the radio business, which uses inspiration as motivation, we just pay our people a lot of money and then kick their ass to get things done.”

Bruce Munson told me the more you deal with banks, the more you understand why John Dillinger became a folk hero.

Instincts are not all good.

I think you could quiet a large room by simply explaining the theory that pointing out what’s wrong with this picture pays a dollar an hour while fixing it pays a thousand dollars an hour.

Does anybody know if they still have an ethics class at Harvard, or was it canceled due to a lack of interest?

Speaking of ethics there is no such thing as business ethics there’s only ethics.

Some women don’t realize they are only who they are, not who they married.

Why do the less talented have bigger egos than the gifted?

When the sales folks don’t like the music, you better book a bigger room for the rating party.

When talented people appear to be normal, ya gotta wonder what else they are lying about.

The people who appear to be the happiest, usually come from the saddest places.

When the creative department of an advertising agency runs out of neat things to say about the Big Mac, McDonald’s solves it by hiring a different agency.

As impressive as it is to see someone working real hard they seldom produce anywhere near what a person working smarter does.

My Brother Reg once asked me why I continued to date Women who threw gasoline on my fiery rage rather than finding one who could calm me. I told him, “You’ll just have to use his imagination.”

If you don’t have more questions than answers, you’re not really living.

Jim Hilliard told me that we needed a 24-hour rule, meaning I couldn’t quit, nor could he fire me for 24 hours after we became extremely upset with each other. He later changed it to a 48-hour rule, claiming he needed more time.

Originally, we were told that consolidation was created to save local radio. They wouldn’t lie to us, would they?

The Countdown Continues Tomorrow With #2.

Geo’s Media Blog is an inside look at Radio, Music, Movies, Politics, Books, Social Media, Religion, and Life, written primarily for men.
For a peek at upcoming Blogs or to see some you may have missed, go to GeorgeJohns.com.
On Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio. Sharing and commenting are encouraged and appreciated.

 

 

Memorable Things That I’ve Been Told.

Download PDF

12065716_10154297378074307_8724853718214231715_n

Hugh Heller told me that when he finally got to live his dream by leaving the loud busy world of LA behind for a remote location in Arkansas where he soon discovered that unfortunately he had also left his friends behind.

I was told by Mario Andretti that if you feel like you’ve got everything under control you’re definitely not going fast enough.

Mr. Fairbanks taught me that continuing your pitch after getting a yes could only lead to a no.

Jim Hilliard warned me to never get into a fight with a guy who buys ink by the barrel. Hey I wonder how much ink there is in this old lap top ’cause I’m ready to rock!

Frank Osborn told me that every PD gets two books and every GM gets two PD’s.

My Father Sandy Johns told me that I needed to get a job because in the Johns family we don’t play guitar for a living, we work.

Mark Hubbard taught me that in order to be successful you have to be First Best or Different.

In Ottawa Terry Keilty gave me hell for hiring Roger Klein claiming he was too good for the market and would only leave. I made his prediction come true by taking Roger with me when I left for Toronto.
 
Bobby Cole claims it’s impossible to have 3 affairs going on at the same time because just when you think you’ve got it done, all 3 will be waiting for your arrival at lunch.
 
Al Ham the creator of “The Music Of Your Life” format told me that when someone steals all your music tapes to create his own format you just steal his wife.

My uncle Jack claimed that all women were exactly the same, they just looked different.

Jack McCoy advised me to never to tell him anything I didn’t want him to use.

Bob Christy claimed the way he marketed himself was to sit at a bar and wait for the ladies to drag him out to their cars.

Roger Snowdon claimed that nobody ever moved to Florida to work harder.

Garth Brooks told me that he was wild in High School but not near as wild as he wanted to be because he was too afraid to be.

My Grandpa Ben Vince told me as I will tell Nathaniel … Life is really about faster cars older whiskey younger women and more money. He neglected to tell me though that any one of them can also ruin your life.

Dick Dresner taught me that the way you get new listeners is just like you track the big horned sheep. You don’t, you simply figure out where they’re going and be there waiting for them with some fine product.

Brent Farris claims that when George Johns starts talking sales radio is really over.

David Manning showed me that can ruin a $2000.00 suit simply by wearing a matching pair of $200.00 shoes.

Martin Milner informed me that there never could be a route 66 reunion TV show ’cause the people in all those little towns across America that they shot the series were just waiting for Martin’s co-star George Maharis to show up again.

Rick Moranis told me the the main reason “Ghost Busters” was so big was because most of the cast were writers so you never knew what your co-stars were going to say to you when the camera was rolling. The fear of that kept everything tense but also created the magic.

Cat Simon said that no bit he did was ever too long as if he made me laugh.

When I told Joe Amaturo that I went to the Manitoba Institute Of Technology he said the name was a way too long and that I should just shorten it to MIT.

Tom Cochran said he was so excited about getting a shot at becoming a news guy at WIBC in Indy that he cut off his long hair for the interview with Fred Heckman. He got the job but as he was leaving Fred said … Oh yeah and don’t forget to get a haircut.

When I asked Reid Reker why he was living with the Woman he was divorced from he said it was because you couldn’t be married to a Woman that wild but she was sure fun to live with.

Ralph Connor told me that people don’t listen to TV they watch it.

Ann McMartin told me that Women only remember 5 affairs and absolutely no one night stands.

Delilah told me she gave away all the homes she owned in Seattle to her staff when she got her big new deal.

Bill Gardner said he didn’t think I ever lied to him but there was a possibility that I may have left out some of the truth occasionally.

Russ Morley told me if the subject of sex ever came up at dinner there would be none for dessert.

Tom Skinner asked me if I’d ever heard of “Client Run”.

Jan Jefferies told Robin Garrett who had rejected some of the special tunes he was picking out for a Valentine’s Day show that she didn’t speak for all Women. That may be true she responded but you don’t speak for any.

Ed Shadek told Jack Collins that if George Johns or any of his people didn’t like a commercial neither did the Shadeks.

Jarl Mohn claimed that I taught him the line “If it’s Happening In The Halls It Will Happen On The Air” with which he started “E” Entertainment.

Al Mair said he came all the way to Saskatoon to buy me dinner because he didn’t think I’d be there long.

Ivan Braiker claimed that it was what I didn’t do that made my stations great.

Cris Conner told me he kept a clip board in his ride because his whole show showed up on the streets of Indy as he drove to work, all he had to do was write it down.



 

 

 

You May Be Lunch!

Download PDF
george-johns-photo-1Most good stuff comes from a bad place.

Radio like Disney works much better when you do it from the bottom up rather than the top down.

What did Shakespeare say again … Oh yeah! “The Play’s The Thing” but he also said “Kill All The Lawyers” Hey maybe he just misunderstood them. NOT!

I picked up Cami the other day to drop her off at a friend’s birthday party. As she approached the car I noticed she was wearing a nice dark blue wool dress but I also noticed you could see right through it. As she started to get in the car I said … Young lady I can see your underwear through that dress. She replied no you can’t and I said I am looking at it right now! Daddy you are not looking at my underwear you are looking at my Bathing Suit. Oh, OK, never mind!

 
I think I may embarrass my daughters about what I write on my my Blog because I write like a single guy. Wait a minute I am a single guy.
 
A lot of Woman I know are much better at receiving than they are at giving.
 
The truth is much easier to remember than a lie.
 
Is it just a coincidence that liar and survivor rhyme.
 
One of my happiest moments was after 13 straight years Cami finally told me she no longer wanted to go see the “Nutcracker”.
 
To have something you’ve never had means you are going to have to do something you’ve never done.
 
When I occasionally point out some of things Women expect to get away with simply because they are Women I am sometimes acussed of being sexist when in fact it may be them that are sexist.
 
Life is like walking against the wind. When you’re a Young Turk it feels like you are only walking into a gentle cooling breeze but as time goes by and you get older the same breeze appears to have taken on hurricane force.
 
We are all gifted at something but figuring out exactly just what that is, is a bitch!
 
Joasia is the type of Woman that strange things happen to her all the time. I advise her all the time that she should be a sidekick on the radio because all the host would have to do is ask her what she did last night and most of the show would be done. She reminds me a lot of Jo Myers in that area. The other day Joasia said when she was going for an important interview she suddenly realized she was about to run out of gas so she quickly pulled into a gas station and pulled up to the pump. After putting in her credit card she was about to reach for the pump when a Woman from one pump over said to her … You’re dressed much too nicely to pump gas, here let me do that for you.
 
 
Well they’ve changed the dress code for the bartenders at Duffy’s again, no shorts and no cleavage shirts. Hey a guy can only watch so much sports!
 
 
Would you rather receive a dollar from everyone who listens to Radio or a dollar from everyone who doesn’t.
 
 
I find the toughest morning teams to coach are married couples ’cause there is no sexual tension.
 
 
Not letting anybody see you sweat is a good goal, not sweating is an even better one.
 
 
When I first moved to America I figured I must of lived a sheltered life because everywhere I looked where signs that read … This way to Tom’s famous this, Murphy’s world renown that, Bob’s World famous etc. etc. and I’d never heard of any of them.
 
 
If you’re the only one not at the luncheon meeting you are probably lunch!
 
 
My favorite meetings are my meetings.
 
The golden rule continues to be … He with all the gold makes all the rules.
 
The more successful you become the more you tend to stop doing the things that made you successful.
 
Santa Clause told me the reason why he was so Jolly is because he is a giver. He claimed unhappy people were all takers. Wait a minute I am Santa Clause and I’m not that happy.
 
The clue to knowing whether a Man or a Woman wrote a particular novel is in the sex scenes. If written by a Woman they usually last less than a page, if written by a man it goes on for a chapter or two.
 
The people whom I see smoking really don’t look like they can afford to do so.
 
There are no rewards or punishments only consequences.
 
It Takes 3 types of people to create a successful business … A Dreamer, A Business Man and A Son-Of-A Bitch. Radio seems a little top heavy in the latter at the moment.
 
What you say is 40% of communication but how you say it is the other 60%.
 
It is said that Women control 81% of the spendable income so if true I figure America’s debt is theirs. So the rest of us can stop worrying about it and grab a beer and just watch some more football
 
Your freedom of speech ends at the front door of the building where you work but your human rights end right at the tip of my nose.