Where The Hell Is The 60 Million Going?

Download PDF

It was wonderful growing up in the 50’s when Rock&Roll first hit Radio and shocked our ears with legendary artists like Elvis, Little Richard, Fats Domino, etc. But it soon smoothed out and came back closer to the middle again. Next The Beatles hit us with the British sound and shocked our senses again but it also returned to middle ground. Then Rap was all over us but has been mellowed by Hip Hop. What’s next and when?

Speaking of shock when my Wife and I separated years ago my Mother in a state of shock said to me … It’s lucky your father’s not alive because this news would have killed him.

I wonder what kind if any research the author E. L. James did to write “50 Shades Of Grey”. Women are always trying to convince me they don’t like that kinda stuff, obviously she didn’t listen.

Of all the Women I have known other than my Mother and Daughters only 4 so far have had much influence on me.

When driving to San Diego with my Grandson Nathaniel to visit Cami who was on vacation at my brother’s place my Daughter Candis said Nathaniel spoke up and said “Auntie Cami can’t be my Aunt Mommy she’s too young”

Speaking of Candis and Cami they couldn’t be more different. Candis has always been very outgoing in fact when she was a child and we moved into a new neighborhood she went door to door asking if they had a little girl living there she could play with. Cami is much more reserved but they both have that Johns intensity burning deep inside of them.

I’ve noticed lately more and more people seem to be adding “And this isn’t for publication” to our conversations.

Only victims should be allowed revenge so where is that 60 million dollar fine from Penn State going? Surely not to the NCAA, what the hell do they need it for, aren’t they just another institution.

Do you think you can or do you think you can’t both answers are correct.

Not breathing is only one of the ways you die another is when you let the child in you die. I don’t think I will ever be accused of that.

The 3rd way of dying is when you stop learning just like all the experts have done. Meanwhile I’m still out here still trying to learn how to be a better lover. I love the homework.

The 4th way of dying is when you stop making love. My goal is to die while making love.

I don’t know which one of my smart assed friends keeps signing me up for these matchmaking services but I keep getting these e mails that say so and so would like to meet you, she has similar interests as you do … You mean she’s interested in beautiful young Women too.

I used to advise young people in our biz that if they wanted to make any real money they had to make management afraid they were going to leave. Not sure that’s true anymore.

Have you ever noticed that small children always tell the truth but once they grow up they have to be drunk to do so.

I have never received a phone call from someone saying I’m sending you some money but I have had many of calls asking me for some.

Looks to me like Bear Bryant was one of the smarter football legends. He climbed down off of his tower retired, and almost immediately died thus keeping his legacy alive.

Most of the Womanizers I know are hit on by Women rather than the other way around.

One of my favorite things to do is get on one of those floating mattresses in a pool and just lie there relaxing doing nothing, but I never do it and I have no idea why not.

A 20 year old bottle of Wine is supposed to be excellent but so are 20 year old Women. I’ve already made my choice.

When something is too good to be true it usually isn’t but in my case I’m hoping an exception can be made.

Good news is easily handled by everyone but some of us we need a of a lot more training on how we’re supposed to handle the bad news which seems to show up a hell of a lot more often.

It’s a pretty well known fact that I’m not a big fan of Radio Sales People but even they have to admit I’m pretty sales friendly.

You Were An Idiot Joe Pa !

Download PDF

This was the first year that Cami went to California without me to visit my side of the family. My favorite moment each trip is when I actually get to see my two beautiful Daughters together. This year all I got was this picture.

The 1st time I ever met Garth Brooks he actually thanked me for putting Country music on the air in Boston which blew me away. I only bring it up now because I remember him also telling me that when he went to school he was pretty wild but not as wild as he wanted to be be because he was too afraid. Well we must of got rid of that kind fear in our schools because now some creep in Colorado wasn’t afraid to shoot 58 people and kill 12.

Recently a pretty young thing informed me with real conviction that she was definitely not going to sleep her way to the top. I told her she really had no choice because the road to the top is pretty well paved with “Gay” guys now. Marilyn Monroe would have had a tough go of it today.

Same girl claimed my Blog was perverted but I say nay to that because I would have a hell of a lot more readers if it was.

What’s cheaper do you suppose being a Daddy or a Sugar Daddy ?

Geri Jarvis commented on my last Blog that I was a SENIOR STATESMAN of the Radio industry and should act accordingly. Is she saying I’m an “Old Guy” Damn! Is it out?

If you’re not selling direct or doing promotions where you need people to actually show up you dont really need a strong Morning Show.

Not breathing is only one of the 4 signs that tell you if your dead or not.

What institution ever thought a person was important. It’s always been about the institution, who are they kidding. They only pretend to care about the individual when something like Sandusky and Paterno who was protecting the institution gets in the spotlight. Why would any fool protect the institution, you’re just shark bait to them. You were an idiot Joe Pa that’s why both your legacy and your statue is gone. The real sad part is your family has to live with your cowardice forever.

When someone says the last thing they want to do is hurt you doesn’t mean its not still on their list.

Have you ever noticed the anchors begin the TV news with ‘Good Evening’ then proceed to tell you why it ain’t.

There’s a Woman behind every successful Man just as there is behind every Man who has fallen except she is referred to as “The Other Woman”

I think the perfect age for Women is 30, that’s when their brain becomes as interesting as their bodies.

Jo Myers talent extraordinaire, told me that we have a special relationship mainly because we don’t have any naughty secrets together. Wait a minute I don’t think thats the special I was looking for Jo.

Just cause it ain’t illegal don’t make it right!

Radio just like all of show biz only has about 50 great jobs. Unfortunately there are thousands of talented people trying to get them.

Isn’t it amazing how fast gas prices rise compared to how slowly they come down.

When you’re dating somebody and for the first time and you even wonder for a moment if she is sleeping with anybody else … Well my friend that’s the last time you’ll ever have a chance to run for it.

What would you rather be … Better looking in photos or in person.

I figured out that the only time I like been told what to do is when I’m completely naked.

It really doesn’t matter who you know … It’s only who knows you that counts.

I wonder who decided Irish names are the best for Dee Jays.

You know you’ve been in Radio too long when not only do you know who the Magic Christian is but he also worked for you several times and you still remember most of his lines.

Women may forgive but they’ll never forget. Men may forget but they’ll never forgive.

Discreet infidelity may be forgiven but indiscreet infidelity is unforgivable. Right Jesse & Tiger!

I don’t know any wise young men but I know a couple of young ladies who are wise beyond their years.

A lot of people ask me how can I write the stuff I write. You mean besides the fact I’m a single red blooded Canadian/American?

I think James Bond in 1962 paved the way for The Beatles. Before him we just thought all Englishman were crude like Benny Hill.

When ever you read some thing about a great leader you always hear the words used to describe them as being somewhat child like.

If Obama gets reelected It will be fun to hear him bitch about the mess he left himself.


Download PDF

For a long time now I have made my living helping folks but over the years I’ve noticed that Women expect my services should be free. Some Women are very flirtatious about it but most just expect me to help with no reward. So I’m just going to hang this blinking big ol’neon sign over my head. “Mr. Free Has Left The Building Will That Be Cash Or Sex Mam”

Oh oh the Hunny Bunny just texted me that she also needs my help. She wants me to buy 2 big towels, 2 bottles of a good Champagne, book a room in a 4 star hotel and pick her up at 5. Looks like getting anymore work done today has just been put on hold.

I find that Women who want or need money appear to be a hell of a lot more fun than those that don’t.

I’m invisible to most younger Women unless I’m between them and their dreams.

I think what I like best about younger Women is they look exactly the same the next morning as they did when you tucked them in.

The first time you ever hear those 3 chilling letters PMS is soon after you utter those 3 famous words … I Love You!

America is a tough place to live if you’re not ambitious. Canada on the other hand is a lot more forgiving, but if you wanna get rich you better buy a lottery ticket.

For some strange reason a meeting I attended a long time ago at WIBC in Indianapolis just popped into my head. We had just won the play by play rights to the Indiana Pacers which was very exciting because they were the only pro sports team we had in Indy at the time. We were having the meeting because the next evening we were doing a lavish presentation to all our clients and the Indiana agencies. Jim Hilliard along with Dick Yancey were putting the final details together with the sales staff and the key on air guys which included our two sports guys Jerry Baker and Joe McConnell The way it was going to work was there was going to be some cocktails first then we would all sit down at prearranged tables where someone from the air staff would be hosting. Jim asked if there were any questions so Joe McConnell raised his hand and said, Jim air talent doesn’t usually communicate with clients very much so just how close do you want us to get with them. Jim looked at him and said … If any of them even look like they are going for their fly Joe I want you to drop to your knees.

The problem with planning your weekends is if anything goes wrong they start throwing the word premeditated around in court.

Wow what a sad day! I was in Jim Hilliard’s office when Scott Hyber came in to apologise for being distracted for a couple of weeks because his Dad was very sick. He told Jim that he was back on board now totally focused and had some good new sales prospects. Jim told him he understood what he was going through and wasn’t worried because he told Scott he knew he would get it all back and more. Scott passed away the next morning from a heart attack. Damn!

After hearing the sad news about Scott I now have a new life plan and It is to die in the saddle. The young lady who was with me at the end will of course need to be investigated for loving me to death.

Most talent even though they are not successful want you to take what they are already doing and even though it is not successful just make it successful without them changing anything they do.

Paul Cavenaugh claims that Rob Lopacola makes Jerry Sandusky look like a preist! Oops … Let me rephrase that…..!

Old pal Charlie Sislen of Research Director, Inc. sent me a note saying he was looking fo a Director of Operations which made me very excited and proud that he was considering me for the position. That excitement was short lived though as I continued reading and discovered the only help he wanted from me was getting the word out to interested parties. http://www.researchdirectorinc.com/aboutus/careeroportunities/ Damn!

We all seem to know what other people should do with their lives it’s our life we have no idea what to do with most of the time.

I was reading Tim Moore’s Blog today where he was talking about having a conversation with Jerry Del Colliano about the state of radio. They were talking about when Ted Williams easily one of the best ball players of all time was at the top of his game he failed 60% of the time. It made me think about the fact that if radio only failed 90% of the time it would be successful beyond belief sorta just like the record company owners who failed 99% of the time all became Billionaires.

The big mistake we made in radio was seating the accountants with the engineers at the annual Christmas Party each year. They’re sure wrecking havoc on us for it now. Payback is a bitch!

My Father Thought I was Crazy.

Download PDF

OK I’m back trying to find out what Women want and don’t want only this time I’m doing it in a studio so I can record the answers. My latest research victim Laura (pictured) told me Women are getting tired of Rap, Pop and even Classic Rock. She claimed they all would prefer to hear a lot more alternative music which there is none of in South Florida. In fact she still is in a snit about “BUZZ” disappearing from the West Palm airways so she moved to Miami thinking surely a city that size must have a Radio Station playing Alternative. Nope!

There is no Reward nor Punishment for your behavior only Consequences!

Let me check again … Yep, Still hate the word No!

Might as well check on this one too … Yep, Holding on to what you have still keeps you from having what you want. Damn!

And lets not forget the golden rule, The only way to get a raise is to still make Management afraid you’re going to leave.

Remember 10 atta boys are still all wiped out with one … Aw Sh*t !

The rumors about Tom Cruise being “Gay” have been flying around for years but I’m pretty sure he’s asexual.

Rich Stevens wants to know why all the great clever stuff you could have really used in an argument always shows up about 10 minutes after the debate is over.

I think the reason Radio isn’t very creative anymore is because of the lack of rules. The more rules there are the more people become creative trying to figure out how to get around them them.

My friend Shotgun Tom Kelly who now has his own Star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame was with a bunch of us years ago as we walked from our Hotel in New York to the place where a Radio Convention was being held. As we walked along Shotz kept falling behind as he looked up in wonder at all the tall buildings. Bill Gardner said to Tom … Yeah that’s right Shotz you’ve never worked in the east so you’re not used to this kind of stuff. Tom said … Wrong Man! I worked in the East I worked in Phoenix but they sure didn’t have buildings like this.

I’ve never figured out why a Morning guy expects the Radio Station to pick up the tab for show prep. You would think they would want me to think that all that great stuff was theirs.

I’m not sure how many times you can get a moment like this. I’ve worked for or with Jim Hilliard for most of my life but at some point I left to start my own company in San Diego. Luckily my Consultancy got some traction early so I went ahead and bought some very nice digs in Coronado. You know a big old two story place Mediterranean Style with a wall around it with a nice pool of course surrounded by tons of exotic plants and flowers. Anyway Jim and his wife Barbara come out to visit and my Wife and I pick them up at the Airport and head over the Coronado over bridge and swing by the famous Hotel Del which is right on the route to my home. We of course are riding in the car Kokomo style which is an Indiana talk for Girls in back Boys up front. As I slowly drive towards my home down this very short street from the ocean we are all chatting about nothing. I stop at the stop sign directly across from my home and say excuse me for a minute Jim as I reach into the glove box and pull out what looks like a garage door opener. As I point the device at the big black iron gate and it begins to rumble open the car went silent as I drove into the driveway. The next morning when I got up early to work on cleaning the pool Jim was already up and sitting by the pool just looking around and enjoying the California sun. I said good morning and he looked up at me and said … Johns I knew you were doing well but I didn’t realize you were doing this well. How priceless was that!

When I brought my Father and Mother down for Christmas to kinda show off my digs I sure didn’t get the same reaction as I got from Jim in fact my father couldn’t even stay there. He made me get him a motel room that closer matched his life style. My Dad thought the place was too ostentatious and I had gone crazy.

Wow, Rick Dees out at Hot in LA I had heard it was going well.

The way things are going in Radio right now I wonder who will be left to go into The Radio Hall Of Fame.

OK so July 4th is over has Football started yet?