The “I” word Didn’t Work For Jesus Either!

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I was having a couple of glasses of Wine the other day in Ft. Lauderdale with Gary Bachman. He was telling me about the time  he told his Brother Randy he had to lose the wimpy James Taylor sound he was doing since leaving The Guess Who. You’re a rocker Randy, you need to hear Fred Turner sing “House Of The Rising Sun” cause thats the kinda stuff you really should be doing. Randy claimed he would love to hear Fred sing it sometime somewhere. You’re in luck cause Fred is playing in Club right near you Gary told him, so you can pop in and see him anytime. Randy a converted Morman said … I cant go into a Night Club! What are you talking about Gary asked you’ve been playing in Night Clubs your whole career. Oh I can work in them Randy explained I just cant hang out in one. The next night Gary arranged to have Fred sing the tune right when he opened the fire escape door at exactly 11:00pm. Randy who was standing outside in the parking lot heard Fred sing “House Of The Rising Sun” loud and clear through the open doorway. Bachman Turner Overdrive was born at that moment.

If you’re struggling with some task it probably means you might not have the necessary talent to complete it. Find something easier for you to do that’s what you may be talented at.

Boy a big day coming up November 6 and I can hardly wait. It’s my Daughter Cami’s 17th Birthday … What do you mean there’s something else going on, surely it’s not as big as her Birthday.

Don’t you just hate being taken for granted.

Motivation is a lot like Chinese food in about an hour you need to do some more. Inspiration lasts much much longer.

One of the weakest words in the dictionary is “I” Jesus of course used it when he said, “I” am the Son of God. How many Christians other than visitors do you find in his hometown now. The Disciples on the other hand got to say “He” is the Son of God the result is there are  Christians all over the rest of the world.

Unfortunately the only known cure for a Woman is another Woman.

There is no such thing as a 50-50 marriage the best you can do is 60-40. You just have to figure out who should have the 60 for the next 24 hours..

The trick to have good looking Daughters is to have your way with good looking Mothers.

Tom Clancy says that sex is one of the most beautiful natural wholesome things that money can buy.

The most distracting thing to a Man is a pretty Woman.

Keith Elshaw reminded me that just when you think life sucks think of Ronald Wayne who in 1976 on this day sold his stake in Apple for $800. Today it’s worth$ 58, 065, 210, 000.00.

There is no such thing as a Wise Young Man nor a Young Sugar Daddy.

There are two days you cant do much about … Yesterday and Tomorrow.

In 1924 Ida Cox wrote and recorded “Wild Women Don’t Have The Blues” I do believe it still may be true.

Both my Daughters at one time or another have heard from some very big Super Stars how much I had helped them in their early years and how grateful they are for it I thought that was nice of them to mention it but my Daughters  question to me is … Dad how many of them helped you.

So answer me this? Dwight Howard gets his coach fired so maybe he’ll stay with the team then he leaves anyway. What kind of good will do you wish this creep for the rest of his career.

As Hunny Bunny told me age is just a number, you’re never too old to dream a new dream.

I wonder what my late Father would have thought about Hurricane Sandy being named after him. When I was growing up sometimes he was just like a hurricane and I was very afraid of him. He had the original “Johns Rage” which he passed on to me and I have since passed it on to my Daughters Candis and Cami.

It is said that the Wives most likely to cheat are the ones whose Husbands do everything they want exactly when they want it and how they want it done. Every once in a while these Women just need a real Man.

Being gifted doesn’t mean your brain is equipped to handle it.

Radio Radio Radio..

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I live on the 19th floor of a tower in a community with 2 golf courses. Now they are going to tear one up one of them and put in a resort hotel(pictured) plus a hundred new homes. My view wont change but the folks who live in the other towers will be staring at houses. I lucked out but you never know with these kind of things because when politicians are involved a little cash can always change hands and plans.

Speaking of politicians don’t you sometimes think our country is being run by a bunch of used car salesmen. Wait a minute maybe they could do a better job.

Sometimes it’s best to just let it go for the night it’ll look so different in the morning.

A good marriage will make you much happier than being successful ever will. Put another way a bad marriage will make you miserable and ruin your success.

The dilemma that needs to be solved is to be successful one must be obsessive but to be happy one must be balanced. Being a romantic I’ve always felt maybe love could make up the difference. So far it hasn’t worked but I remain optimistic.

If you want to study modern history all you need to get are Johnny Carson’s monologues.

I don’t believe it’s one way or another that’s why I think Mitt and Obama are both wrong.

Cynthia Segal says you can’t start the new chapter in your life if you keep on re reading the last one.

The only thing bad about a beautiful sunrise is how early you have to get up to see it.

Just because you’re not blind doesn’t mean you have vision.

Rich Stevens says he is on a hell of a come back when he went to bed he was down 7 to nothing to Lance Armstrong for Tour De France victories. When he woke up this morning he was tied.

You should only run promos that point out what’s unique about your Radio station. Boy that should cut out a lotta clutter on most stations huh!

The only thing great Radio stations had in common was they all sounded different.

In my home town of Transcona the biggest sin of all was being a phony. A lot of our current Radio executives wouldn’t make it through the night there.

Most people aren’t listening to the Radio they just hear it. The trick is to get them to listen.

The ratings always go up when the word “You” is used more often than the word “I”

The thing about slogans is they have to be true or they just don’t work.

The thing that made America great was the middle class we pay all the taxes. If the government stopped worrying about the rich and the poor for a few minutes and took care of us instead of just mentioning us like a buzz word in speeches, I have a feeling the economy would be fine.

I like research because it tells you what tunes most of the folks like. The thing that research cant do though is tell you in what order to play them. That takes talent!

Speaking of research I only have one question about PPM … Is It True?

I’ve never had much time for Dee Jays but I have all the time in the world for all the characters.

The smartest people in the world only hire people smarter than themselves.

Matt Greeney was saying at lunch the other day that pedophiles make up almost 5% of the population now. He was wondering how soon they were going to form their own group and demand some special rights.

Local radio to the folks means stuff about their community not their city.

Their are only two types of Women, those who want kids and those who don’t.

Their are only two types of Radio … Background and Foreground.

Jack McCoy once asked me when recycling stopped working on Radio.

Joe Amaturo told me that people listen to Radio one person at a time.

Ron Chapman asked me if the Hunny Bunny was a good Woman … You know the kind of Woman you can tell your stories to over and over and over without them ever flinching. He claimed that’s why he married Nance

Every great radio station always had a cause but paying down debt was not one of them.

Radio thinks the GRAMMYs is the best awards show on TV the folks think it’s the ACADEMY AWARDS.

The number one tune out on Radio is a song the listener doesn’t like. They would rather hear a commercial.

In the early days of radio the producers would audition the voice talent without seeing them and they would mark down black hat or white hat beside their name based on the character in their voice. The listener still does that today.

Why is it so hard to say “I Love You” to somebody for the first time. Hearing “I Love You” from someone for the first time is always easy on the ears.

Make ‘Em Laugh So They Don’t Kill You !

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Has anybody ever seen Pete Townshend of “The Who” smile.

Jade Alexander claims that loyalty is the most important factor in any relationship.

Worry is from the dark side of your imagination.

It’s always good to sing even if you cant.

Growing up in Canada we were always told the reason we weren’t living quite as good as the folks in America was because we didn’t have enough population. I guess California disproves that theory big time!

The Devil talks you into sitting down but only you can talk yourself into getting up. Even God cant get you to do it.

Bob Pittman says he wants to make Radio cool again. Simple solution Bob, simply tie all monetary incentives for upper management to cume growth. Necessity is a “Mutha” !

The number one car in America for stay at home Moms who have a Nanny and tend do a lot of charity work is a black Range Rover.

The # 1 penis extender car in the world that screams “I have a way too much money” is the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport with 1200 horse power and a 2.5 million dollar price tag.

I’ve been told if we simply taxed Hookers and Drug Dealers we could erase the National Debt.

When you tell some the truth you might want to consider mixing in a little humor to try and make them laugh so they don’t kill you.

Most Radio stations already have enough cume to almost double their average 1/4 hour.

Most of us in America do very little with out first making an appointment including listening to something special on the Radio.

For years most owners who didn’t have a big morning personality or wanted to spend the money to hire one would go for the “Most Music In The Morning Concept” which never worked now PPM claims it does.

A few years ago when Mamma Mia was hot my Daughter Cami had a couple DVD versions of both the Movie and Broadway productions plus a CD of the soundtrack which she and her Mom wore out. She asked me a question one day I couldn’t answer … Daddy how come you can’t hear this on the Radio.

When ever I get a call from people who just graduated from a Broadcasting school asking how they can get a job in Radio I tell them to write down everything they would like to say on the radio and send it to me. If I like it I tell them, I’ll put you on the next day. I never hear from them again.

PPM devices and Diaries always find the hot Radio Stations.

Would you ever want to own a Radio Station if you couldn’t run any commercial.

The only reason to do any Radio promotions is to excite the talent and cause talk. If you get any press coverage syndicate it.

Most air talent can’t repeat what they just said on the Radio immediately after shutting off the Mic.

My favorite people to work with are the characters I threatened to take away all the tunes from their shows and they begged me to do it.

Clients will always pay more for a promo than a spot but Radio Stations still give them away anyway.

I always liked Ron Chapman’s reply to a sales person who was in a panic and needed an immediate answer to something. Ron said … That’s easy, the answer is no! Now if I had a little time I might be able to figure out how to turn that no into a yes. He always got as much time as he needed.

The trick with Ratings is to figure out how to go up a tenth of a point each Rating book. Everybody just wants an up book.

There is a ton of stuff on every Radio Station that got there mainly cause it wouldn’t hurt. Well it seems that once they all came together they hurt a whole bunch.

The only real competitor Radio has is the off button.

Show business has always been about product it’s never been about sales. I wonder what business that puts Radio into.

The way it used to work according to Frank Osborn is each GM got two PD’s and each PD got 2 books. I wonder how it works now.

At a live concert the folks take advantage of the Artist playing a tune from their new CD to go get a beer. I can only guess what they do when Radio plays it.

Breathless Moments!

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I believe that children should sample as many activities outside of school as they possibly can. Their participation in numerous kinds of things will give them a decent shot at finding something they really like to do. Who knows it may even lead to a great career.
With that in mind Cami has had lessons in Tennis, Skateboarding, Horseback, Acting, Singing, Music, Snow Boarding, Ballet, Tap, Karate, Art and Gymnastics only to mention a few. So when she sent me pictures of her and AJ Kayaking in California this past summer(pix)you can imagine how excited I was. Hey maybe she finally found something she liked doing. Being the assertive type I immediately checked out and found where she could do the same here in Florida. When she got back from her vacation I excitedly told her about my finds only to hear … Oh Daddy that was just a one day thing, I’m not planning on making a career out of it.It just made my arms tired. So once again I have the same old tired question, just what kind of a career does texting lead to. Whats that you’re trying out for the Lacrosse team. Great!

The 3 most visited places on earth are #1 Disney World, #2 Disney Land, #3 The Pyramids in Egypt. Walt Disney blew away the 7 wonders of the World and the way he did it was by making the customer #1. The Employees #2. and The Company #3. I wonder why companies today think their reverse plan of Walt’s is better and I wonder how it’s working for ’em!

The more breathless moments you share with your special lady the harder she is for you to leave, let alone ever forget.

Einstein said we cannot solve our problems using the same thinking we used creating them.

People who overuse the words You Cant & You Wont are usually the ones very afraid You Will !

You are who you hang with!

The window of opportunity does not open by itself.

Seeing as most anger is based in fear ya gotta wonder just how much the terrorists are afraid of us.

Speaking of terrorists somehow that word used to be used to describe a lot of folks in Ireland.

Only a few losers are looking for followers the World is looking for leaders.

How do you figure out which end of a half truth you are on.

According to Cris Conner only 12% of America is Black, but they have managed to become 18% of the Federal work force. How did they do that?

I wonder why the Cavemen when they hunted just didn’t cook it up out there instead of dragging it all the way back to the cave. Maybe it had something to do with what the Woman who was waiting in the cave whispered in his ear about his reward just before he went hunting.

Years ago when I was the National PD for Fairbanks Broadcasting out of Indianapolis I was summoned to a meeting being held in Jim Hilliard’s office. Already present was Cris Conner who was the PD and Afternoon Drive Jock of WNAP. Jim said, George I need your help with this one, Cris has just discovered that Don Seeley (the Sales Mgr.) makes more money than he does and I brought you in here to help me explain the why of it to him … Hell I wanna hear the answer to that myself Jim!

I’m not sure I’m for all this Human Rights stuff. When my parents were growing up they didn’t have as many rights as I do but they also didn’t have to lock their doors, live in gated communities or fear walking the streets at night.

The Hunny Bunny continues to be a mystery to me. Sometimes that’s good, sometimes that’s bad.

Matt Greeney told me you never see good lookin’ chicks at a bus stop.

Our whole lives we’ve been told that we need to think about and take care of the future. The other day I realised I no longer have one so why am I worried about it or even working on it. If I can shut down that behavior from my past and just live for today I’m having a hell of a good life. But I do have to admit the future looks pretty bleak.

As far as the Indians are concerned this Country has been filled with illegal aliens since 1492.

If you want bigger ratings on the weekend simply make your Monday through Friday ratings bigger.

Speaking of ratings we tend to celebrate bad ones 10 times as long as good ones.

A good attitude is not enough you also need a little aptitude. The reverse is also true.

Even I can sell great ratings.

Women make absolutely no sense unless you love them.

There are basically two types of Women those that want children and those that don’t.

There are usually two things a Women says to you after you first declare your love for her. “Turn Down The Music” and “Let Me Explain PMS To You”

So far 4 phenomenons have occurred in my lifetime. Frank, Elvis, The Beatles and Women. I have the first three all figured out.

There are 3 types of people who work in Radio. The Gifted, The Creative, and All The Rest.

Only 2 types of people make decent money in Radio … The ones who figure out how to get the folks to listen and the ones who figure out how to sell the fact that the folks are listening.

When a gifted person starts getting creative just put a fork in the rest of us. Thank God they are usually lazy.

If your on air promotion doesn’t excite the air talent and cause talk in the Market Place it’s probably really a sales promotion.

I was just telling Burton Cummings that life is going by a way too quickly. Hell when I was with the Jury I had gigs that lasted longer than the last year did.

A Daughter! What The Hell Do You Do With Them.

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Some 40 or so years ago I was sitting in the waiting room of the St. Boniface Hospital waiting for my Son to be born. It all started out rather quietly at my birthday dinner with my folks which was interrupted by the need to rush my wife Lana to the hospital. Now here I was hours and hours later just sitting there dozing, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly I was startled by the sound of a voice saying Mr. Johns, Mr. Johns!
I look up to see a nurse standing in the doorway holding what looked like a wee alien covered all over with some kind of slimy goo. Even it’s head had a very strange shape to it which I later found out had been caused by the Doctor’s need to use forceps during a very difficult delivery. As I hesitantly walked over to them I heard her say, “Congratulations Mr. Johns you are now the proud Father of a brand new baby Daughter” I remember thinking that somehow she sure managed to stretch out the word Son or maybe it was just her French accent. Then it hit me! She didn’t say Son at all she said Daughter. A Daughter! What the hell do you do with them. Hey I had my Son’s life plan all mapped out, I had no plan for a Daughter. Candis was a complete and total surprise which she continued to be throughout her whole life.
She started school in Indianapolis when Jim Hilliard hired me to be the National PD for Fairbanks Broadcasting which was headquartered at Radio Stations WIBC/WNAP. She quickly became an A student and a very good athlete finishing in the top 3 at the Indiana State finals for gymnastics. Much later when we moved to San Diego to start my own business, Candis was just entering High School. She became the Freshman and Junior girl of the year at Coronado High winning numerous scholastic awards including 1st place for individual speech at the Debate Tournament held at Harvard. She was also the lead in Coronado’s big production of the musical South Pacific before finishing up High School in France as an exchange student. She went to college in New York making the Dean’s list at NYU then transferring to UCLA in Los Angeles where she graduated Magna Cum Laude. Candis continued to live in LA as a singer/song writer performing many times at both the Roxy and the Whisky as she chased her life long dream of making singing her career. As I drive back and forth to work each day I still love listening to her CD of original songs she wrote about her life and what she was thinking about. She even managed to find a little time in her busy life to run the LA Marathon fast enough to qualify for the Boston Marathon and also compete in the grueling California Iron Man competition at Camp Pendleton(pix) She accomplished these amazing feats while working all day at her day job as Director of Licensing for WEA and singing all night. Candis was on the fast track at WEA for upper management until giving birth to my Grandson Nathaniel which she is now raising for me full time in her new role as Supermom.
The life plan I had for my Son was much simpler than all of the above believe me. Candis was and continues to be the greatest Birthday present a Man could ever receive. I love her dearly and always will.

Speaking of Daughters my youngest, Cami made me a special Birthday card claiming I was growing up real fast and I had also won the funniest Dad award. Those special homemade cards from my children always bring a tear to my eye but the chocolate covered strawberries that came with it weren’t too bad either.

50 years ago James Bond hit America paving the way I believe for the Beatles invasion 2 years later. Until then most Americans thought all Brits were funny little characters like Benny Hill.

Ambition makes the world go round.

I took a small test a while back that claimed by answering a few questions it would tell me where I am politically. Turns out I’m a Centrist I’m left on some issues and right on others and I suspect I’m not alone here. Recently I discovered though if you are not left on every issue the far left brand you a right wing extremist.

Does it really matter if the glass is half empty or half full. It’s simply a hell of an opportunity to fill it back up with a nice red that gives great nose.

If you are spending too much time searching for answers you may consider taking up drinking just so you can forget the questions.

It is said that if you spend most of your time thinking about the past or the future you may not be mentally healthy. Oh oh!

If you’re not a little bit frightened about what you’re doing everyday you are not living up to your full potential.

Pandora pays millions in royalties but I doubt much of it goes to the artist.

Air talent should take a lesson from old timers like Arnold, Stallone, and Eastwood. In their biggest movies these guys hardly said anything but what they did say was memorable and we still repeat those same lines today.

The first rule of “Show Biz” is be noticed but that might not be too good a thing if you don’t have any talent.

Great personalities are people who exaggerate what they just observed from the World around them.

Speaking of Air Talent a lot of them are more interesting back stage than they are on the air. The Magic Christian comes to mind.

No matter how many people want it to be about the technology it’s always going to be about the “Artist”

Do you think that because we now have cameras in our phones we scared away all the UFOs.

Great Radio is merely a somewhat slightly exaggerated reflection of life.

Lobbyists I feel do a lot more harm than good but unfortunately the only folks who can get rid us of them are the folks who derive some good from them. (cash)

Years ago I took up guitar because I saw Chet Atkins playing on TV and he made it look so easy. Kinda how the great ones like Ron Chapman, Jeff and Jer, Rush, Barsky and Howard make doing radio sound so easy. Good Luck!

Great Radio stations do two great things … They get the ratings and they ring the cash register.

It’s fairly easy to make money you just have to dedicate your whole life to it.

Other than irritating a few people what you think has very little to do with what you know.

I think Women are phenomenal but like most phenomenas a lot of them fall into the category of “if it seems too good to be true it usually is”

Rich people only care about expenses, people who want to be rich only care about making money.

I hate the word no and also the sentence … I don’t know anything about programming but!

PPM does a hell of a job of measuring all the non listening.

Ever since I was a kid I always wanted to be somebody. Maybe I should have been a little more specific.

Now that Tiger Woods is free to chase Women I wonder if he still does.

People who change the World are usually viewed as “nut cases” until somebody finally uses the word genius.

According to my old pal Aristotle what you perceive the truth to be has absolutely nothing to do with what the truth really is.

According to Aristotle’s teacher Plato, to be really successful one must become a “principle of influence”

Speaking of Greeks, Socrates once said … It’s what’s above the bottom line that causes the bottom line.

The goal of each Radio station should be to try and become as great as its biggest fans already think it is.

Hey my old friend from Winnipeg Randy Bachman who has a new book out was interviewed by Rich Stevens on Big Talk 8-50 which I work with here in South Florida, check it out.