Rarely Does Chris Rock Not Rock. (new for March 07/16)

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While being under the weather for a few days I got to binge on a whole bunch of Chris Rock’s HBO specials. Chris always knocks me out because his stuff seems to be about everyday life and isn’t that political.
In fact the only time Chris brings up politics is when he wants to poke fun at all the politicians who take themselves too seriously. What I really like is his insights about relationships which sneak up on you because you’re so disarmed from laughing.
The first special I watched must have been from the Monica Lewinsky era because Chris was blaming Hillary for the whole scandal. He claimed that the first lady’s first job was to be the first one on her knees whenever the President needed some release from the stress of being a world leader. He claimed that had Hillary been taking care of business, America would be much better place today.
The next one must have been taped during the George W era because Chris was talking about how the formula for success was already set in stone. He claimed that if you’re in college and getting straight A’s you’re gonna run very large corporations, hell if you’re only getting B’s he went on to say you’re still gonna get to run stuff like 7 Elevens and Mickey Dees. Unfortunately though those of you that only get C’s will be working for those mother f##kers and you dumb f**ks who get D’s will only get to take out their trash. Hey I get all that but what I don’t get he yells … Is how the f**k does a guy whose college grades claim he should be working for all the other mother f##kers get to run the whole f**king Country. As usual he had me on the floor laughing my ass off.
I was really looking forward to watching the next one because it was all put together from his appearances on stages all over the world. Somehow they took portions and seamlessly blended them together, he would start a rant wearing a certain suit and finish it wearing another and doing it from a different country which gave the special a very unusual look.
The special started out by him talking about just how difficult it was for a man to live with women. Hell he said, even Mandela who spent 27 locked up in prison found that easier to do that than live with a woman because 6 months after he got out he got divorced. Once again I was on the floor because as I said, what I really like about Chris is the fact that he is usually all over the place and even claimed that he is Conservative about some issues and liberal about others which I can totally relate to. He explained it a whole lot better than I ever could by saying that he is conservative when it comes to crime but liberal when it comes to prostitution. Now he brings up Obama and I think to myself … Man this should be fun and I wonder what the hell he has on him but Chris didn’t poke at him about anything and all of a sudden the whole special turned into a vote for Obama political rally and the only attempt he made at humor was to make fun of all the crackers who were gonna be f**ked after Obama gets elected. Can you spell B-O-R-I-N-G and color me GONE.

 

 

Monica Lewinsky Would Kick Ass. (new for Feb 01/16) #3 Of My 12 Most Read Blogs In 2016 (Re did a bunch)

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Back when I was a rookie PD at CKOM in Saskatoon I remember the day Joni Mitchell who hailed from Saskatoon came by the studios to give us her new album. She was accompanied by some long hair and because my guys Gary Russell Keith Elshaw Woody Cooper Ken Singer and Dylan Thomas were huge fans of her’s she happily agreed to tape an interview with us.
While taking a short break Joni introduced us to her long haired friend whom we were shocked to learn was Graham Nash of the Hollies. Graham, it turned out had just stopped in Saskatoon to visit with Joni for a couple of days before heading onto to LA where he was recording an album with a new group they’d just formed called Crosby Stills and Nash.

OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS HOPEFULLY WORTH PONDERING

You can learn how to play the guitar like Chuck Berry but not like Eric Clapton.

Speaking of music, congratulations to my old friend from Winnipeg Burton Cummings who it was just announced is being inducted into the Canadian Hall of Fame in April. Burton’s already in there as a former member of The Guess Who but now he goes in as a solo act.

It’s the little stuff that breaks ya!

Why is it that soon as an actor achieves any kind of success they immediately become experts on life and especially politics.

You always lose if you’re accused.
 
You can’t do a decent Boston accent without swearing.
 
No NFL player is as good as he claims to be.
 
I think Aaron Rogers may be in the Hall of Fame before he’ll be in the Superbowl again.
 
Bobby Orr was the greatest hockey player who ever lived was Wayne Gretzky because he changed the game.
 
Years ago my CPA Roger Snowdon told me that absolutely everything is deductible until the IRS says it ain’t.
 
The intent of the law means nothing.
 
When you’re done changing you’re done.
 
If it doesn’t come with jail time just do it.
 
Isn’t it amazing how humble and polite the truly gifted are.
 
The monopolies still can’t figure out how to have a monopoly on music.
 
While traveling in France for any amount of time you’ll find the “cockney” accent to be pleasantly understandable when you find your way to England.
 
Worrying about missed opportunities prevents you from taking advantage of the new ones.
 
If what you’re doing right now doesn’t frighten you, you’re not living up to your full potential.
 
Unless the GOP begins to distance itself from the 1% ers it won’t have a chance in elections, hell even Monica Lewinsky would kick their ass.
 
What idiot came up with the plan that Presidents can only serve two terms but the rest of them can serve forever. Oh and the word serve is also outdated. 
 
Just ’cause you can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
 
You earn trust you’re given respect and loyalty is best demonstrated but at the mere hint of betrayal all three are wiped out instantly.
 
Unlike women I know of very few men who ever think about marriage or children before they fall in love.
 
Has anybody who runs radio ever noticed that most of show business except for radio is about the product. Why do they think that anything else would ever work.
 
When do you try harder or just walk away?
 
There is no man more sensitive than me but I don’t think that it’s the kind of sensitivity women are looking for.
 
The more money people make the less likely they are to give any of it away.
 
A pessimist immediately recognizes how difficult some opportunities are to take advantage of where as an optimist realizes that probably the reason there even is an opportunity because it’s difficult.
 
I think the language dispute some countries have is simple enough to solve … If you want and/or need someone elses money you have to learn their language.
 
Even if you’re a selfmade man you still owe somebody.
 
It is said that one of the most pleasurable things you can ever do is forgive an enemy but I’m not ready for that kinda pleasure yet, I think I’ll just stick with sex.

I just read somewhere that what Bowie really died of was Aids. Could that be true?

More @ GeorgeJohns.com on Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio.

 

 

 

Bad Cops! (new for Feb 08/16)

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I had a very nice evening recently with Tim and Heidi Reever whom I haven’t seen in quite a while so we spent most of the night at dinner just trying to catch up.
Tim who now works with Legends Radio in West Palm Beach used to work with me for Jim Hilliard at WKLB in Boaton. As we enjoyed dinner with the ever beautiful Heidi and chatting about all the fun we had running and skiing together when we were all hanging out in “Bean Town”Boston Tim started laughing about when we first met. He knew I was a good friend of Jim’s so he asked for my help in telling Jim that the ratings didn’t justify the billing that Jim wanted him to do and he remembered my response being that it was a hell of a lot easier to give Jim what he wanted than it was to talk him out of it. As long as I’ve known Jim he’s always believed that good ratings only help make the sales task a little easier but the number still remains the same.
Necessity being the “Mutha” it is Tim quickly caught on to the concept and before long used the station as a megaphone for a ton of money making promotions. One of the most successful he ever came up with was the day he walked into Jim’s office and asked for 50 grand to rent the sidewalk in front of our building for one day. The 100th running of the Boston Marathon was coming up and the Pru Tower where the station was located happened to be real close to the finish line and seeing as the Boston Marathon folks were not very sponsor friendly Tim came up with a way to give them what they really wanted which was sampling and signage. Tim got his 50K for the day and at the end of that very day he handed Jim a check for a half a million dollars and we hadn’t run one spot.

SOME ABSTRACT THOUGHTS ABOUT OTHER THINGS…

There are only two types of people in the world, those who make promises and those who keep them.
 
Marriage seems to be a much easier step for women to take than men.
 
No matter how badly things are going they can get worse.
 
Karma is always watching you.
 
You’re only what you remember.
 
Nothing is as scary as you imagine it to be.
 
I’m a very curious person except I resist being taught.
 
It takes takes a maybe to turn a no into a yes.
 
Have you ever noticed that no demands an explanation but not yes.
 
If you eliminate the box there is no longer a reason to think outside of it.
 
Is it just me or are there a lot more pauses on the radio now than there was when we were using carts.
 
Brent Farris claims death is like a surprise party except the guest of honor never hears anyone shout “SURPRISE”.
 
Overthinking always leads to sadness. 
 
Being able to look fear in the face makes you very scary.
 
I think I’ll vote for whatever party Mr. Business man’s against, wait a minute they contribute to both of them so we may need a 3rd party.
 
In order for a guy to get married he must be smitten because he is gonna have to give up most of his friends and hang with hers, live mostly like she does, give up the sports car for a more sensible car that would be better for the kids she has planned and oh yeah, turn the TV down.
 
History is not made by the winners it’s made by the person who wrote it down.
 
As Morgan Freeman said … Racism begins to stop when I no longer call you white and you no longer call me black. 
 
Success is the result of you doing more than what’s expected of you.
 
I wonder how women’s lives would go if men weren’t stupid.
 
All policemen know who the bad cops are so maybe we should treat them all badly until they themselves turn the bad ones in.

 
My daughters frighten me more than the law does.

Manning over Newton who would have thunk it.

I have no time for anybody who thinks that they deserve free money for whatever reason.

I wonder how long Cam’s arrogant attitude will continue after he finds out how much money Peyton makes doing commercials.

Speaking of money not for free, the Canadian government recently advised that the cost of living had gone up in Canada so the people who receive Social Security benefits would be getting a raise but here in the US our government claims that our cost of living remains the same so no raise. Hmmmmm!

I guess John Scott proved at the All Star game that there’s not that much difference anymore between the best and worst players in the NHL.

I still hear the phrase … I heard it on the radio!

Who would ever put up with musicians if they weren’t talented.

Much more @ GeorgeJohns.com, on Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio