Still Looking In All The Wrong Places For All The Right Answers

As you can see I’m still out here doing Market Research. Hopefully I wont come up with too many answers too soon. So far I don’t need any help but I will let you know.

How about that Tebow still winning and the experts including his coach John Fox and boss man John Elway still saying he can’t play quarterback in the NFL.

I noticed on Facebook the other day that somebody had posted an old format clock of WIBC which included the 19 commercials per hour we ran. Some folks claimed it was definitely a George Johns clock and here I was so hoping to be remembered for something a little more artistic than a format clock, but so be it. Others were commenting about how tough it must have been to get those great ratings with a spot load that large. I arrived in Indianapolis in 1973 as the local PD of WIBC and the National PD of WNAP plus all the other Fairbanks stations and Jim Hilliard only remembers two things about my long tenure in Indy. The day I Cut the spot load to 19 and the day I left in 1981. He is still upset about both and brings the latter up constantly as “The day I screwed him” Jim you’ve got to let it go!

J Robert Wood told me a couple of years ago that our problem was we were born and raised in the Midwest where we were all incorrectly taught that if we worked hard and did a good job we would be well taken care of. Turns out the folks who got well taken care of were the ones who asked for it before the work ever started.

In 1866 Mark Twain said no man’s life, liberty, or property is safe when the legislature is in session. Surely this can no longer be true.

Warren Cosford claims in Windsor Ontario a murder is committed once every two years. Across the river in Detroit a murder is committed once a day.

When is Tony Sparano going to learn that there are only two times to kick field goals. Just before the half and once again at the end of the game for the win. Any others never really mean anything as he constantly finds out in the loss column.

When I wrote … How long will it be until when I google my name name I wont have to see Do You Mean George Jones. Nance Chapman responded with “Stop googling your name George you’re going to go blind”

For some reason I don’t remember very much about bad things that happened to me but I do still remember most of the good things and all of my breathless moments.

Now that Cami is living with me she brings with her almost 85% of everything I need from a woman. But that missing 15% is a bear not to mention very powerful. What do you suggest I should do now that I can no longer show off my gorgeous view.

Moto says … Seeing as 100% of the FBI’s top 25 list is Muslims how can anything we do in that arena be considered racial profiling.

Speaking of Terrorists aren’t most of them Saudis. How come we never invaded their Country.

What was it Iraq did to us again, somehow it keeps slipping my mind.

Bob Pittman told me he got into radio when he was 15 so he could earn enough money to take flying lessons. He now flies all over the World in his own Falcon 900 Jet.

James Bovard said Democracy has to be a little more than just two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.

My Grandson Nathaniel just completed a walk-a-thon to raise money for his school. He was the #1 walker for the 1st grade by walking 43 laps on the track. Can you spell “Proud Buppa”

I think the NBA owners and the players finally figured out it never has been about them. “The Game’s The Thing”

Speaking of the NBA wouldn’t it be nice or should we just demand because of the $200 dollar tickets, the $12 Beer, and the $9 Hot Dogs that they tell us just what games the Super Stars are going to coast at to save themselves for the long season. I for one want to skip those games.

If you think health care is expensive now just wait till its free. Check with the folks in Canada.

It used to be if you didn’t read the newspaper you were uninformed then once you read it you of course became misinformed. Now if you read the newspaper you’re just old.

There is only one way to make money in the radio biz … Make Management afraid you’re going to leave.

The way to attract a large female audience to your radio show is to use the number 5. You have 5 seconds to get their attention. You need to talk about the 5 subjects they are most interested in. You have to use their 5 primal emotions in order to create all the drama they love so much and you finish it all off with a 5 second big close. Then and only then can you stop worrying about downsizing

Thomas Jefferson said if the government finally gets big enough to give you everything you want it will also be strong enough to take everything you have.

I was trying to explain to my Daughter Cami tonight that because her Father was an ego maniac and her mother was self centered she was going to have to figure out how to deal with it because I didn’t see either of us changing anytime soon. She said no problem Dad I have it covered. Now what the hell did that mean???

I asked a bunch of guys the other day if there was anything more sexy in the world than a 17 year old. Someone quickly answered, “Yeah a 16 year old” I immediately shouted … Hey Hey Hey Watch It Now!

About a year ago I posted this question. If you saw me in the back seat of a police car being driven away what do you think the reason would be? I wonder if in a year my image has changed any.

You’ve Got To Get Out And Do Your Research

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Hey my friend Joe Raineri is now the new morning man at legendary WRMF. Joe is a hell of a talent as his new listeners are about to discover.

Its been a tussle but I finally got the perfect place for Cami’s sweet 16 party. It all takes place February 25 at The Royal Palm Culture Center, a cash donation would be much appreciated(-:

Speaking of Cami the thing I’m most grateful for this year is she now lives with me full time.

Hey the way I figure it the police are the ones who protect the citizens of the United States. The Armed Forces are only there to protect our Government. What are they doing that requires so much expensive protection. Have they considered maybe they should stop doing some of it.

I think the best research in the whole world is to get out there and mingle with the folks so as to find out what the current topic is and what’s hot and what’s not. That is exactly what I am in the middle of doing in the photo above. Hey somebody has to do it!

Dennis John Bailey said that just like there is a huge difference between being rich and being wealthy there is also a huge difference between being poor and being trash.

People speak almost the same amount of words everyday but in order to be successful on the radio the talent needs to figure out what those words are. When topics like Penn State roll around it’s real easy to figure out but it’s those other days that separate the Men from the Boys.

Speaking about what the folks are speaking about, only radio people talk about the Grammys, the people talk about the Academy Awards

What’s the name of the guy who decided Norv Turner was a head coach instead of just what he is … A fancy offensive coordinator. Was the person who made Norv the head coach also the same guy who decided Phillip Rivers was a better quarterback than future hall of famer Drew Brees and cut Brees loose. I think we need to make him famous or is a better word infamous.

How come you never see Asians in the Welfare line and how come you never hear about it being so.

I’m thinking of putting a band together again with some of my old musician buddies from Winnipeg and calling it … Bachman, Turner, Cummings, Johns and Young. Ahh too many names so lets drop the Johns one he wasn’t any good anyway. The rest of the guys have well over 3 hours of top 10 hits to entertain us with.

Most air talent talk only about themselves and the activities they participate in. The big problem is if they don’t lead an interesting life they sure as hell wont have an interesting show. The ones I have heard on the air lately don’t get out much.

Doug Erickson told me KOIT’s new big promotion is a coupon for 30 cents off on Knudson Cottage Cheese but there’s a catch, you have to be a loyal listener. Damn!

They already have “The Hot Chicks Of Occupy” on the internet.

Steve Jobs said don’t settle for anything you don’t really love, either in romance or your work.

Seth Godin said you have to seduce your your customers because that’s exactly what they want you to do. At KVIL and WRMF we hung up a huge photo of a beautiful executive looking woman in front of the jox in the on air studio which read, “Seduce Her”

Broadcasters from all around the world used to come to our radio conventions to pick up some great ideas. Now they only come to sell us theirs.

People care mostly about things that are happening on their own street followed by unusual activities in their neibourhood, the city the live in, their country, and finally the world. Media for some reason does it in reverse order.

I Had a great lunch yesterday with Paul Ski who is the president of Rogers Radio in the mother land. Paul used to be for most of his career what we in Canada would call a big “CHUM” guy. I asked Paul if he could give me the names of anyone who got rich while working for Allan Waters. I know for a fact several who did while working for his competitors Ted Rogers and the Slaights. Paul couldn’t come up with one name but with a little help from my friends  I managed to come up with two. Jimmy and Ron Waters.

 

 

For The Good Of The Country

Radio may be Wall Street’s bitch but that doesn’t change the fact that listeners and clients are still it’s only consumers. They want and need our undivided attention.

The reason people dislike politicians is because they appear to be owned and operated by the wealthy.

Speaking of wealthy there is a huge huge difference between being rich and being wealthy.

How embarrassing it must be for all the quacking sports heads when Tebow continues to win.

Folks don’t really know what they like or want until they can see it,  hear it, taste it, touch it, or smell it. Our job is to invent it then tell them why they like it.

Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, Walt Disney, Lennon and McCartney, Steve Jobs and a few others totally “get” the words above.

Saying I must be a Democrat if I don’t like some of the Republicans is like saying I must like the current Health Plan if I don’t like Obama’s.

It must be true that near the end of the month the cops must have to catch up on their speeding tickets quota. Near the end of October they looked like a bunch of gunslingers standing out there on the interstate pointing those radar guns at us. They are no where to be found now so hopefully they have gone back to fighting crime.

I think the Government should only help students with student loans for schools that don’t raise their tuition just because of the availability of new money.

Freedom is definitely never free.

Being a single guy I have learned you can not make somebody love you no matter how hard you try. But hey maybe if you stalk them long enough they’ll panic and give in.

I just read a quote somewhere that said, the Democrats and the Republicans bickering over the debt is like two drunks arguing over the bar tab as the Titanic goes down.

Bill Gardner once said, “I don’t think George Johns ever lied to me but he may have avoided the truth now and then.

It takes years and years to build up trust but suspicion even without any proof destroys that trust instantly. Right Mr. Paterno?

I think the Penn State scandal goes so high up the ladder they will determine Jerry Sandusky acted alone. This determination will be made of course for the “Good Of The Country”

The absolute best liars in the world are Serial Killers, Rapists & Druggies. Welcome to a very elite club Mr. Sandusky.

Speaking of a rapist has anyone but me noticed that when the word therapist is pulled apart it takes on a whole new meaning.

Have you ever noticed that the people you care about always seem to be taken from you much too soon but the ones you don’t care about hang around forever.

I once had a woman tell me that she wanted to do something with me that I have never done with another women. I have never forgotten it but I don’t remember what we did.

In my new life I want to come back as a taker and a flake because I’m surrounded by them now and they expect me to solve the problems they created. Sweet!

I was just reading that America has the richest poor people in the whole world.

It doesn’t matter what excuse an air talent has about why they can’t keep it to one subject at a time. The only thing that matters is a listener can only understand one subject at a time. Why would you want to continue speaking if nobody is listening to you.

Time goes by so quickly when your having fun doesn’t it. Case in point is all the hot new country artists that turned their back on the legendary country artists that preceded them like Hank Williams, George Jones, Willy Nelson, Conway Twitty and Merle Haggard but to name a few. Now it’s their turn to look at all the turned backs. But hey guys there’s always Branson.

I think the right to bear arms is a good one if for no other reason than all the politicians know we may have them.

The ability to do something very few people can do produces Big Bucks!

Women are much more financially motivated than Men. Hell we just spend all of our money on them, but come to think of it so do they.

Bad Boy Bobby has his way with October http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGnuzBoyz#p/u/6/9LBbgSf1WSs

It’s OK To Lie About Sex !

As I write this its early November and we’re headed towards Thanksgiving, Christmas and yet another Florida winter. We Floridians like this time of year because it cools off plus the Humidity and the Hurricane Season go away. Mostly though it’s still the same old thing as I look out my balcony and watch a rainbow deliver yet another pot of gold to my tiny Condo in West Palm Beach.

Joe Pa certainly found out the old saying that ten Atta Boys are soon wiped out by one   Aw S**t ” is sure true didn’t he.

I’m not a big fan of Harvard Business School but then again I went to MIT so why would I be. OK OK so it was the “Manitoba Institute Of Technology” hey it is but a small technicality. My beef with Harvard is I’m not sure they ever turned anybody people who changed the world. I know a bunch of them rule the world but mostly they just stuff their own pockets. Besides that the Harvard folks needs to come up with some fresh new stuff soon, their old stuff ain’t working anymore.

Back when I worked at CKY in Winnipeg the Music Director’s job came open and a bunch of us applied for it. I got it because I was a musician, they used that as the tie breaker. Being a musician didn’t qualify me to pick the hits but it sure did help me to figure out in what order they should be played and what oldies to use to balance texture and tempo. Doing a music station is like doing a Symphony you only use the research to figure out what tunes to put in your Symphony. The records are like musical notes and some of them don’t belong together, they create a dis chord. It’s sure easy to hear that there are very few musicians putting the music together on Radio right now.

Lets see if I can do the math here. If only 1% of the American population has more than a Million Dollars but 50% of Congressmen are Millionaires why is it the remaining 99% get stuck with the tab for their stupid decisions.

I told Candis when she was growing up that it was OK to lie to me about the sex part but I expected the truth from her about everything else. I think that would work rather well for America.

Bob Christy told me that good content on radio started disappearing during the Reagan era when the FCC decided Radio no longer needed to carry News.

I neglected a few weeks ago to mention while writing about my Father and our somewhat strained relationship how much I still miss him.

I understand there is big movement away from the big banks to credit unions. But wont that make the credit unions big too and doesn’t big always seem to lead to evil.

Good programming makes a good Radio Station but a good premise makes a Great Radio Station.

How true is this. What to you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching football. The NBA.

You don’t have to explain who the real boss is to anyone. The ones that claim they are usually aren’t.

It doesn’t really matter whether its PPM or the Diary most of your ratings still come from people who actually listen to your station rather than just hear it.

A woman you adore saying to you … “Hey but we can still be friends” feels about the same as your Vet saying your dog just died but you can still keep him.

Any notion that driving down dusty rural dirt roads is a great experience exists only in a Country song.

I’m sure that Candis and Cami tire of me telling them how proud I am of them but I never heard it much so they get to.

It’s sure easy to figure out that a lot of professional athletes didn’t finish College.

Creativity is not taught in school but if your life plan is to become a multi millionaire your going to need to learn it.

I hear the new criteria is you have to be in the top 3 in the demo or you’re fired. I used to think if I wasn’t #1 I was fired. Fear is a great motivator.

I just read that Keriann Worley was being promoted to Market Manager of CC’s cluster in Melbourne. Her comment that these were exciting times at Clear Channel sounded a little strange to me in the midst the over 200 people being fired at the same time. Oh I see she came up from sales. Never mind!

The reason Dee Jays don’t make as much money as the rest of Show business is because they don’t work from a script like the rest of Show business.

According to Steve Allan, management doesn’t want their employees to be happy, they claim people work a lot harder when they are somewhere between disgusted and dissatisfied. How disgusting is that.

Why would we let people who buy and sell stock be in charge of us. We didn’t vote for them.

I was a little shocked and bummed to read that Buzz was going away until I figured out it wasn’t Buzz Barnett who was leaving it’s Google Buzz.

There are now 7 billion people on our planet but only 13 of them look like the Angels from Victoria’s Secret. How much should that gig pay.

Is it just me or am I seeing more and more new Mercedes Benz’s sitting stalled by the side of the road. I wonder where those particular models were built.

Steve Jobs didn’t believe much in research. He said it’s not the consumers job to know what he wants.

What ever happened to those beautiful elite soldiers Gadhafi had as his personal body guards.

Women Are Not Welcome Here !

After having had a nice long run with WIBC, WNAP, KVIL, WVBF, WIBG, WJNO and WRMF I decided to leave it all behind and move to sunny San Diego which had been a dream of mine since I was a teenager. The move was definitely not very popular with my family nor my best friend and Boss Jim Hilliard, but it was the one I think I was destined to make. Hey you don’t dare stand in the way of destiny do you. My plan was to start up my own business as a Radio Consultant and my first project was to see if  I could implement the KVIL concept on a bunch of radio stations at the same time. We had already replicated the format on WRMF in South Florida so I figured we had a pretty good shot at doing it successfully elsewhere.

I was once asked what word best described KVIL and the word Class was the only one I could come up with that even came close to describing that great station and it’s Hall Of Fame air staff. It was also the perfect word to use as the name for our new format. It’s hard to figure out exactly what Class is but you sure know what it ain’t. With Class as our new mantra we just simply ripped all the things off the air that didn’t have any. Our format was targeted at women so the first thing that had to go was “Sex Drugs and Rock & Roll” Women may like sex but they sure don’t like to talk about it much let alone hear some corny Disc Jockey quacking about it. Some Women may even have done a few drugs in their day but when they started thinking about making babies they immediately wanted all the drug dealers killed. I had picked up early on in my career that women never ever really liked Rock&Roll. Sure they went to all the concerts and screamed their lungs out but they were screaming for the Super Stars not the music. If you don’t believe me check out the ratings on a Classic Rock station. Being an old musician it was pretty easy for me to put the texture and flow together using the kind of music they did like.

Shortly after opening up an office in La Jolla I enlisted the help of my brother Reg and my friend Reid Reker. We needed some sales to help get this thing started so we brought Jim West on board and in no time at all he had the Class/Classy format on about forty stations all over the United States and Canada. Can you say “oversold” It was very exciting and rewarding to say the least but the travel was just brutal.

Bill Yde came into the picture as our CFO around this time and with his financial know how we ended up buying Fairwest from Fairbanks Broadcasting. Mr. Fairbanks no longer had any use for a syndication and jingle company now that Jim Hilliard was gone. Now that we had a real company it was time to do what every radio person dreamed about doing … Buy our own radio stations and start to wind down the consulting end of our company. We also bought Music Of Your Life from Al Ham to put up on Satellite to see how that all worked. Satellite moved around the country a lot faster than I ever could so maybe it was the new answer to syndication. Meanwhile Bill was busy putting a deal together with Tom Hicks to merge our two companies and form a new company called Capstar. Unfortunately it didn’t work out for various reasons but Tom Hicks did take me to Wall Street to dance for the boys of money which was very cool seeing as I was just an old song and dance man from Transcona anyway. (Hey Bill don’t we still have some shares in that company) Hicks then talked Reid into joining their management team using a piece of the rock as bait. My Brother Reg was just beginning to get into the digital world using the computer as the new thing with which to drive Ratings and Revenue. He invented a thing called the Radio Rewards System which turned out to be huge for him. Meanwhile when Reid’s deal with Hicks ran its course as all deals do Reid moved to Phoenix to launch a new FM. It wasn’t long before he popped out to see me in San Diego to find out if anything new was running through my head. The landscape had changed a lot since we had first done the Class/Classy thing so maybe it was time to do something brand new on Reid’s new FM.

We jumped in my old Benz, put the top down and headed up the PCH looking for a great smokey dark bar where all the great radio formats are born. If this new format was going to be any good we needed a little help. Canadian Whiskey usually brought my old pals the muses out into the open for me. I through a lot of experience found out Muses love dimly lit bars with dark furniture and they hide all their best ideas at the bottom of a tall glass. After flirting with the busty tattooed bar maid for a while we got down to some serious talkin’ mixed together with some serious drinkin’. Because the Class/Classy was more about what we didn’t do than what we did do we thought maybe this one should be about what we do do. I said to Reid that as far as I know men only talk about 3 things when they’re together, sex, sports and business. Reid thought for a moment and said nope there are four … Sex, Sports, Business and Sex. The concept we came up with that afternoon was called “Radio For Men” The station was going to be kinda like a Sports Bar and just like any bar does we were going to throw in a little Rock&Roll now and then but it was going to be stuff that more than just old hippies like. The best part about this new format was we were going to talk about the things Men like to talk about and play all the music Men really like. “Radio For Men” how cool is that going to be. OK we’re on to something here but seeing as the first rule of Show Biz is to get noticed we needed to come up with a great get noticed plan. We came up with a killer. Reid was now ready to pitch our new concept to his owners but didn’t think it would be a problem because they were both old programming guys and would “get it” It was soon a go! The next move was to find some talent locally as quickly as we could and just like the Oakland Raiders we we’re looking for edgy guys who were a little too much for the other Phoenix stations. Reid found some great castoffs and all we had to do was explain to them where the lines were. It was OK to bump into the lines now and then but there was no going over. Going over the line is just crude. Wondering if the talent is going to go over the line is where all the fun begins.

Time now to get noticed! The first thing Reid does is buy some TV time along with a few Billboards. The TV spot was brilliant. It showed Reid sitting on top of a huge Radio dial and saying as he turns the dial … Is it just me or does everything on the radio seem to be for women. As he turns the dial every station is playing Barry Manilow.  It’s all a way too wimpy for me Reid says. He goes on to point out the fact that there is absolutely nothing on the FM dial for men. He then says as the new GM of a brand new Radio Station I’m prepared to do something about it right here and points to his dial position which of course leaps out of the screen every time he points at it. In fact I’m going to do something about it tomorrow morning at 7. This position on the FM dial is now officially reserved for the men of Phoenix and women are not welcome here!  The billboards were great, very plain with just the symbol you see on the ladies restroom doors except ours included the red circle around it with the line going through it. Underneath the symbol it simply read “RADIO FOR MEN” with just the dial position.

The next thing we know the the NOW organization immediately marched on us which caused the station to get a ton of attention. USA today did a big story on us along with People Magazine and Entertainment tonight. The local TV Stations were camped out in our parking lot interviewing women who were saying we were discriminating against them and it must be against the law to have a radio station for men only. Talk about getting noticed we were on our way because we knew the more we kept saying women couldn’t listen the more they were going to listen.

That may have been the best launch I have ever been involved in and I’ve been involved in a few. Things couldn’t go much smoother so I headed back to San Diego. The next day Reid called me and said … It’s over man! What do you mean it’s over I shouted. The big guys have pulled the plug, they’re worried about women boycotting the station’s clients. The whole city is just buzzing about us so I know the ratings must be crazy good but the owners are too frightened to continue. They say they like the concept and how it sounds and everything so they want me to continue the programming but we can’t call it “Radio For Men” nor can we make any reference to the fact that women are not welcome here. Are you f**king kidding me Reid! This was the first time we didn’t have to do a slow build because we were all set and we came out of the box just smokin’ This new format is a monster and was poised to be “The Next Big Thing” I’m outta here Man!