The Research Begins.

geoimg-326155240-00011I’ve  been doing research about Women for many years now and some of what I discover I put on the Radio and the rest I keep for myself. For this session I brought Tom Hoyt along as my special assistant and we were doing our “One On Ones” at a Halloween party in Malibu. Unfortunately it wasn’t going so well as Joasia, the Woman I was interviewing wasn’t cooperating at all. She wanted to talk on the radio not waste time talking to me about it. Tom’s participant only wanted a bag of groceries.

To be smart one must study, to be wise one must first live.

You are who you are not who you think you are.

I think therefore I am, but I am not who I think I am.

If you want to get noticed get in the blame line, way too many people in the credit line.

You need not worry about what it is you want to do, it’s what you don’t want to do that you need to figure out.

I think the best way to evaluate whether or not you should be with someone is to make two lists side by side. On one side mark down all their good points on the other all their bad points. If positives out weigh the negatives you have got yourself a winner. If the person you are evaluating is beautiful and sexy though you may want to make some allowances.

Over the years the Muses have been nice enough to pass on some pretty good stuff to me. I would generally find them hanging out at a dark smokey bar that served good Canadian Whisky and before the night was done I usually had a couple of pretty good ideas.

It doesn’t matter how big your ratings are if the client can’t hear your Radio Station.

If the air talent would consider adding punctuation to their presentation they would sound a hundred times better.

It doesn’t matter if you are in love or not or even in a happy marriage, it does not change what a 20 year old looks like.

When you are in a bad relationship the only advice you get is you should leave. Hell if you could do that you would have been gone long ago.

Women share everything but their money.

Fame always unveils who you really have been all along.

The only way to make any money as an employee is to make Management afraid you are going to leave.

In top down type Management they tend to fire from the bottom up.

Have you ever noticed when you need a solution or and idea about something you tend to gaze upwards as you ponder it.

Who is it that Women would die for.

If Women would give as much time to their bodies as they do their hair, they would need armed escorts.

If they deregulated sports like they have everything else would we watch it.

Every great Radio Station started with a cause but making the owner rich wasn’t it.

I remember how good looking those women on the hit lines sounded, in person not so true.

What kind of a person would even wear a PPM device.

Cami has told me her whole life that the only people she dislikes more than boring people are people who annoy her. I wonder if there was some kind of message in there for me.

Have you ever noticed how many laws and protection devices are in place to protect Mr. Business Man from us. What’s wrong with that picture and who really needs the protection!

Young and old will listen to a young person but only the old will listen to an old person.

Anybody needing help from the Government will never be anything.

Why do people that have absolutely nothing of interest to say take so long to say it.

The big question the world has forgotten is … What if there were no weapons of mass destruction.

You can play any song you want on the Radio as long as your explanation of why you are playing it is interesting.

The easiest way to get me to come around to your point of view is to communicate it to me through a song, a movie, a novel, a poem, a painting, a picture or a dance. Sometimes though a kiss is even better.

 

 

Ladies Don’t Lie Do they!

My sister Sandra owned me and thus began my on again off again love affair with the Ladies.

Sharon H. claimed the reason there were no good pictures around of her and I was because they would have been considered evidence.

Jamie G. said that if she didn’t talk to me like she was about to go down on me I was pissed at her about her attitude.

Joasia H. told me her and her girlfriends always talk about sex until the Men show up.

Robin B. told me that money is an aphrodisiac for a lot of Women.

Linda D. told me she knew she wasn’t in love moments before walking down the aisle.

Cami J S. told me she was getting a restraining order against me to keep me from being any where near her Prom.

Barbara H. told me there is more to life than sex.

Laura N. told me that the Ladies love the Guitar Gods but not their music.

Linda S. told me only the people participating in a relationship get to vote on if it’s a good one or not.

My Mom told me not to spend too much time alone because I have Hermit tendencies.

Lana J. told me her job was to remind me where I came from.

Kari S. told me I was going to be a Father again.

Candis J M told me on the phone from her Honeymoon suite that I was going to be a Grandfather.

Betsy C. told me she was not black and white she was all grey like me. Not!

Debbie C. says she would love to come up to see my view and see if I had any etchings.

Julie H. told me we should write a book together about what a Woman needs to do to keep her man from cheating. I’ve got 50 ways!

Jan H. Claims I wouldn’t last two minutes in the sack with her.

Debbie M. begged me to not tell Reid not long after begging Reid not to tell me.

Lorenda R. told me good Christian girls like her don’t do the naughty type of activities guys like me desired. Uh Huh!

Jennifer R. sent me an article entitled ” The 5 things I learned about love from dating older Men” I think you may have sent it to the wrong person Jenn.

Christina J. showed me that when you mix some Italian with Korean and add in some English and Scotch you end up with something beautiful.

Francine R. sang to me, “Wild Women Don’t Get The Blues” and she meant it!

Jo Myers told me when she was checking out new Churches the Choir Master at one said the Choir was going to sing “Long Train Running” Jo said she chuckled because it was the same title as a Doobie Brothers tune. Surprisingly it was the Doobie Brothers song.

Georgina P. said if Roger ever left her I was next in line. I told her a bunch of Women claimed that to me and I sure hope their Men don’t leave on the same day I don’t think I could manage that. She said you just slipped to 7th just in front of Mark who has no chance.

Ann McMartin told me most Women only remember 5 love affairs with absolutely no memory of any one night stands.

When I asked Delilah what she did with all the homes she used to own in Seattle she said she gave them to her staff when she got her big deal with Premier.

Rollye B. told me to have my two drinks then come on over.

Margaret Mayer claims she is listening.

Cindy A. loves counting my money.

Lorraine M Says even nice girls like to do naughty things sometimes.

Cyber Girl says she only likes to do naughty things.

Cyber Lady says “ditto”

Bad Kitty is silent.

Lois T. says it’s good to remember the highlights of your life.

Lesley P. says when I’m done having girlfriends she’s gonna come see me.

Ann C. says the good stuff is in the vault.

Jill B. says she still misses her Mom. Me too Jill.

Marnie H. told me her beautiful Hispanic girlfriends were saying in Spanish that I was an older guy who acts  young.

 

 

Will That Be Cash or Sex?

For some reason beautiful women think my name is Mr Free. Somehow they always manage to find me at the time they need some help the most. I must admit though that I have learned the only way to get a beautiful Woman to notice you is to get in between them and their career. My latest story is Joasia! (pictured) who claims there’s nothing on nighttime radio she or her friends can listen to.

She says they want to hear a show that deals with the Women of today not yesterday with a today Woman as the host. She went on to explain she knows about this first hand ’cause she lives it. It turns out she was telling me all this because she thinks I’m just the guy who can put this show together so she can host it herself. My new response to these kind of queries are … Will that be Cash or Sex Mam?

 Speaking of beautiful Women, until recently I’d been lucky enough to be involved with someone special who is not only beautiful but also very smart. Some of my friends think she is a way too young for me and ask me things like, what are you thinking, where do you think this is all going, she’s just using you, what happens when she wants kids, aren’t you really just her Sugar Daddy, she must have some young guy on the side, etc. etc. Now that I have moved on the very same folks are saying … Are you crazy! How can you leave something that special. You just can’t win for losing!
 
Most of the lines I write in my Blog are from much longer stories about people I know or incidents I have been involved in. Writing them is great therapy and I thank you for indulging me.
 
Most Men love telling their stories to the Women who love to hear them but when a Man starts hearing … You already told me that story, he knows the end is near and soon he’ll need to find some fresh ears.

If you just live for today and today is not a good day, what then?
 
You have no past, it does not exist until you think about it.
 
You are not born courageous, you need to learn how to resist fear.

There is a business saying that goes “Old Age And Treachery Trumps Youth And Skills Every Time”.
 
A lotta people don’t understand what a lotta people are saying.
 
Women aren’t afraid of beautiful Women, they only fear the ones who are younger than them.

Is there anything more distracting than a beautiful Woman walking in on the middle of a very important business meeting.
 
I totally disprove the theory that you have to be rich or well endowed in order to have a beautiful Woman by your side.
 
Sometimes the only problem was you just didn’t dream big enough. I can attest to that.
 
My brother Reg suggested sometime ago that I give up my A** hole persona and go back to what I do best which was to nurture and inspire talent. He said he has met all the real A** holes in our business and I’m just not in their league so I should give it up. Hey maybe I could just be a P**ck.

It’s much easier to teach a talented person how to do it right than teach a person who does it right how to be talented.
 
Imagination is what we use to get a peek at the future.
 
So once again the only people in America who are doing better are the Rich and the Poor. F**king politicians!

The news on CNN’s Web Page is better than it is on their channel.
 
Cyber Lady claims I am the best she’s ever had and she has never had me.
 
Cyber Girl has kinda just faded away but I have a feeling she will be back ’cause she’s been to the top of the Mountain and she really liked it.

 
Bad Kitty just disappeared!

Most Women are up for almost anything as long as they don’t have to discuss it the next day.
 
Way back when a bunch of us worked for Fairbanks Broadcasting, Jim Hilliard gave us enough rope to either hang ourselves with or use it to create some superior product.

I did another check and discovered I’m still not mature enough to handle the word NO!
 
Am I being unfair when I say that the folks in radio whom are presently cutting folks pay would not in anyway be handing out bonus checks even if they were in the middle of a windfall.

If you are programming to the young they will find you but if you need some adults you will need to find them.
 
I just figured out why I like March better than February. It was because two very bad things happened in February, the Music Died February 3rd 1959, and Radio Died February 8th 1996.

The most important thing I learned growing up in Transcona was … Go South Young Man. Go South!
 
Don’t you just love the line … This is not personal it’s just business. I think it was created by some tiny business guy who was afraid we were going to hit him after he just destroyed our lives.

How much money would a Radio Group have to bill to make the stock go up. Someone must have that number but may be afraid disclosed it because it might show that all hope is gone and the only answer is bankruptcy.
 
Where did all the engineers that used to work at Radio Stations go and what did they do while they worked there.

 

 

 

 

Do I Need A Date For The Prom?

 Cami texted me … Guess what Daddy, Andrew just asked me to the Prom. Are you happy about that was my only question. She texted back that she was so happy she actually cried. Not in front of him I asked. Her responding text said not only in front of him but in front of everybody else too! Andrew it turns out is a class act. He showed up at the school cafeteria with Roses, Balloons in Cami’s favorite colors and a sign asking her to the Prom and he did this in front of everybody. This guy is good! I’m going to have to keep my eye on him. I wish them both nothing but a magical night.

OK I have to back to work now. I’ve got to figure out how I get to the Prom before Cami gets that restraining order she has been threatening me with ever since she found out how I got to her Sister’s Prom. This is going to be tough but don’t count me out. Hey maybe I can be her friend Haley’s date, she seems to like me.

You start growing stronger the day you realize how weak you really are.

It takes at least 10 years to be good at anything.

Sam Zell told Randy Michaels to stop chasing ratings ’cause there was no money in it for the chaser.

I came up with a programming/sales promotion called “The Magic Ticket” which bought me my first Mercedes. It took 40 client stations to come up with my next. I should have just come up with another promotion. I hear ya Sam!

Never invest in a company whose dreams are smaller than their memories.

I hate the sound of most disc jockeys but I sure love the sound of all the characters I hear on the Radio.

When I was a kid I was having a great life what with having a couple of hit records out and stuff but God decided to show me the error of my ways by giving me a Daughter. A bunch of years later I must have been slipping ’cause he gave me another and she is going to her first Prom.

I’m writing a book called “Guitars, Radios & Wild Wild Women” Do you think I should include the error of my ways parts?

The first time a Male here’s about his imperfections and the horrors of PMS is shortly after uttering his first “I Love You”

Canada hasn’t really been too involved in any Wars since Word War II but still has a huge income tax that was created to help fight World War I. Hey maybe it goes towards that free heath care.

Speaking of income tax being created to help with the war effort maybe if we stopped paying it in America maybe we would stop warring.

If the last placed station had to give up it’s license every rating period I wonder what Radio would sound like.

Justice is a great concept that for some reason just never seems to get off the ground.

Have you ever noticed all those great ideas you come up with at a Radio Station, suck at lunch.

If you are ambitious America is still the place to be, but if you just wanna hang out and have a decent life then Canada should be your country of choice.

Have you ever wondered like I do what the hell the Japanese do with all those pictures they take.

Have you noticed that the people who whine the most about the economy are the ones whose life styles are least affected by it.

Men are into the way things are and how to deal with that. Women are into why they are the way they are.

There are no rain checks for missed opportunities.

The marriages that last the longest are the ones where the bride actually loves the guy she’s marrying.

The best music research I ever saw was when it showed that people generally know what they like and like what they know.

As easy as this sounds it isn’t done on most Radio Stations. Simply play more of what people like more often and less of what they don’t like less often.

How did the people who don’t like to pay those huge dollars for morning shows manage to convince Arbitron to come up with a device that doesn’t like them either.

I think one of the things I’m very good at is cleaning up and making pretty an idea before it is even completely out of the sales rep’s mouth.

Yesterday I drove by a Hospital that claimed that it was for Women and Children only. I wonder where the one for Men is.

As Shakespeare said  ‘The Plays The Thing” I mean who the hell would Michael Jordan have been if there was no NBA, Paris Hilton if there was no Sex, Ryan Seacrest without TV, or Tom Cruise with out the Movies.

The ratings always go up when you do your show exclusively for people who don’t know who you are.

I only care about the intent of the law, the law it self is for lawyers to argue over it in court make money.

A very powerful person isn’t necessarily right or wrong.

For most of my life I just wanted to be somebody but now I think it would be better to work on being a better Father, Buppa, Brother, Uncle and Friend.

 

 

I’m down $200.00

Cami won a Prize at her school for raising the most money for the “Dance Marathon” where she is going to dance for kids that can’t dance for themselves. I’m very proud of her and want to thank all of you who contributed to her great cause.

I was sitting at the bar at Duffy’s the other day telling a friend about the kinda strange thing that had happened to me a few weekends ago. When I finished my so called tale of woe he looked at me with a concerned look on his face and asked me what part of my story didn’t I understand. Of course that’s how it works, he claimed. He was responding to my telling him about taking  a Woman I was dating to the Coconut Casino in Ft. Lauderdale. She wanted to gamble and loved playing the penny slots. I really wasn’t in the mood but it’s hard for me to say no to a beautiful Woman so I thought what the hell and took her.

We had a little dinner then I drew out a $100 for her and $100 for me and told her soon as it was gone so were we. Seeing as I don’t gamble much she taught me how the slots work. We each put in a $20 dollar bill in and pretty soon with her help I had my own lucky system going. I suggested every time our credit went over $60 we take our winnings and put them away then start all over with another 20 dollar bill. As the night proceeds we both go over $60 a few times and even though I’m not into this usually, I’m kinda having fun and enjoy handing her my paper winnings which she is happily stuffing into her purse along with her own. Before too long I’m down to one $20 which she snatches  out of my hand and plays on. When it’s gone and we are walking over to the cash machine she claims she has over $500 of winnings in her purse. Wow we are up $300 is what I’m thinking but how it really comes down is somehow I’m down $200 and she’s up $500(-:

I sure miss the Hunny Bunny!

Laura Neville told me that if a Woman doesn’t give her man what he needs he’ll seek it elsewhere.

The greatest honor a Man can ever give a Woman is to ask her to marry him.

The greatest honor a Woman can give a Man is to say yes to his proposal but then again a no may set him free.

Sometimes a no from a Woman can later be celebrated as an unanswered prayer.

Praise doesn’t have to be spoken loudly we can hear it.

Don’t we all wish we could sing.

Don Henely sang that about how fame was only given to a very few and the rest were set free.

Going through rough times is the first time you really find out who your real friends are.

The thing about old age is it has a very short shelf life.

Sometimes we are prevented from learning new things because we are all a bunch of “know it alls”

Listening to good advice requires a lot more wisdom than giving it.

I’m better than all my enemies but still trying to become equal with my friends.

I have very little interest in a Woman’s needs it’s her wants that excite the both of us.

Seeing as for some reason I seem to be attracted to broken Women you might want to make an appointment with a psychotherapist if I ever hit on you.

You never have to try very hard to be negative.

Being normal is a ticket to ride to nowhere.

Very few people can become successful without a lot of other people helping them become so.

Combining Motivation and Inspiration produces breathtaking results.

It’s much easier to make a living doing something you love.

Men & Women both lie about sex. Single Men claim they are getting a lot more than they really do. Single Women on the other hand claim they get lot less. The opposite is true of most married folks.

I think an honorable quest for a man should be to try and become the Man his 4 year old Daughter already thought he was.

To some people opportunity just looks like more hard work.

You’re limits are bound only by your imagination.

Unhappiness may best described as the place in between what you have and what you have not.

I know very few beautiful Women that have any interest in becoming equal.

Whoever predicted the next Pope would be Catholic turned out to be right.

You can’t go around failure ya gotta blow through it in order to become successful.