ELTON WAS SINGING ABOUT MY TINY DANCER !


My beautiful Daughter Cami had her Sweet 16 party last weekend but after seeing a photo from her special party Ron Chapman claimed she was actually “Hot 16” which I reluctantly agree with.
The amazing thing to me is how all these gorgeous creatures managed to go from young girls to stunning Women in a matter of hours. I sure don’t remember any 16 year olds looking like that back in my day.
As I reflect back on the evening I don’t think any of them should ever be allowed out of their houses again dressed in similar attire without armed guards being present. The only thing those poor young things didn’t quite have down yet is exactly how to walk in those high high heels which in itself was quite amusing. What a magical night it was for Cami as her Mom Kari with the help of her best friend AJ magically transformed the Royal Palm Beach Culture Center into Bourbon Street so all the beautiful young ladies could dance the night away Mardi Gras style.

Over the past 16 years Cami has had many big birthday parties and at each one she wore even a prettier dress than the last. I will never forget how wonderful she looked at each of her parties even though she usually was standing in the middle of the room crying because she was completely overwhelmed. Cami’s dress for this very special affair was by far the best of all. My only problem with it was they seemed to have run out of feathers a little too early for my comfort. That aside it was thrilling for me to be able to watch my gorgeous “Tiny Dancer” who looked just like an Angel as she danced all night in the middle of what appeared to be New Orleans but instead of crying she was laughing which did my heart good.

Cami’s Sweet 16 party turned out to be a major event but was so stressful for all who put it together that I suggested to her that whenever she gets the urge to get married, just elope!

After seeing a picture of Cami from her Sweet 16 party Mark Hubbard said … I’m sure glad I’m not in your shoes for the next few years.

Reid Reker said it was hard to believe that he was fortunate enough to have seen Camera Anne Johns Summerfield only a few short hours after she was born… she has turned into a stunning young lady!

Cris Conner said now the worrying begins in earnest! Beautiful.

Jo Myers said … She is so pretty, you done good.

Barry Wallack said, Very, very nice. Proud Papa?

Embree McDermid commented … You’ve got a very pretty girl there, you are going to have problems keeping the young bucks away.

Chris Gould said, Wow she was only 4 a few minutes ago.

Lorraine Marshall e mailed me from Paris saying Cami looked simply stunning!

Paul Cavenaugh suggested I should thank my lucky stars that Russ Morley doesn’t have a son.

I’m just happy that both my Daughters got their looks from their Mothers.

Speaking of beautiful Women I’m not that good at getting them but I’m sure good at getting rid of them even when it was not my intention!

Rich Stevens wants to know if he was the only one watching The Oscars who had never heard of half the films.

Speaking of The Oscars the only buzz I hear about the show was J-Lo’s so called nipple slip and Angelina Jolie’s exposed leg.

The saddest thing about The Oscars is a lot of people after Billy Crystal did his black face impression of Sammy Davis Jr. wondered who Sammy was. Even others wondered just who the hell Billy was.

Wow! Another one bites the dust as Davy Jones of The Monkees leaves the planet.

Has anyone ever apologized to America for anything ?

A dream without any action is just pure fantasy.

Steve Jobs claimed the only time you need a power point presentation is when you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.

Writing must be making some kind of comeback because I’m getting tons of requests from guys asking if I need any assistants or does my Blog perhaps offer internships.

Have you ever noticed that once we elect a politician they shortly there after become rich unlike the rest of us.

Cynthia Segal says she doesn’t want to spoil the ending for You, but everything turns out good.

Brent Farris wants to know if Arbitron is going to break out Christmas as being unusual listening, why doesn’t it also break out Political Years, Storms, Dead Super Stars, Hurricanes, Floods, Fires, World Series, Super Bowls, Stanley Cups, NBA Championships Final Fours, etc.

Last night I happened to look up at the screen at Duffy’s just as the Apple Cobbler with Ice Cream that I like so much came on the screen but for the first time I also noticed it’s intended for two. No wonder these pants feel so tight.

I notice a few stations are hiring back some on air folks who were originally let go because of budget cuts. One can only wonder if they were hired back at the same rate. My guess … Not!

I read that John and Ken just returned to the airways in LA after being suspended for 2 weeks. Who do you suppose got the worst of that deal them or their fans.

What The Hell Was Whitney Thinking !

I mentioned in my last Blog that I was visiting Reid Reker in Las Vegas. I’m out here for a couple of reasons one of which was to celebrate his freedom and the other because we are working on a very special project together. While there I thought I might as well do some more research on what Women really want so I gathered together a couple of small focus groups (pictured below) and continued my probes hoping once again to get a little closer to unlocking the mystery of women to learn some usable information I can use on the radio.

Speaking of Vegas I had a very interesting and exciting dinner with Emmy and Grammy award winning musical director Nancy Gregory plus her friend Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame producer and songwriter Jeff Barry. It seems to me that Jeff must have written most of the huge hits of the 60’s and 70’s. I mean can you resist singing along with Be My Baby, Da Do Ron Ron, River Deep Mountain High, Chapel Of Love, I honestly Love You, Hanky Panky, Doo Wah Diddy Diddy only to name but a few … And what about Sugar Sugar which even Frank Zappa was once caught singing along to by a few of his horrified fans. What a magical evening!

Whitney Houston made a lot of bad choices in her life including the wrong day to die … Music Radio was already pre recorded.

Speaking of Whitney she exposed Music Radio for what it really is now … Irrelevant! I wonder what Wall Street thinks about all that.

I have always believed that you adjust the Mechanics to fit the Art even though Radio now adjusts the Art to fit the Mechanics. How dare that bitch Whitney die on the wrong day and seeing as they could figure out how to adjust her they just skipped it.

The only thing you never have to wait for is the future it always starts tomorrow plus you still have 100% of the rest of your life ahead of you to accomplish something worthwhile. You might as well get started.

I read that keeping your mouth shut whenever you were in deep water might be a good idea. Ahh that explains it.

It sure didn’t take Cami long to go from being a child who was afraid of the dark to a teenager who wants to stay out all night.

Shouldn’t the people who attend Radio Conventions be a little fearful about the fact that if the Radio station can continue to operate without them, someone else may notice.

When I was a teen ambition entered my life for the first time only because I needed a car.

As you go across the dial in the morning have you noticed morning shows all seem to be doing the same bits. They must all be subscribing to the same show prep service. You would think at least one of them would go with the cheapest and the best … Their local Newspaper!

I understand that they are going to make a new Ghost Busters movie. Rick Moranis told me the first one only had one actor in it the rest were all writers. I wonder if they are going with the same concept in the next one.

Kathy McWilliams says we live in a era of smart phones and stupid people.

Strange thing is I relate a lot more to my Father now then I ever did when he was alive.

I always think of Michael Jordan being a decent human being but I don’t think the same of Kobe Bryant and don’t know why really. Maybe Michael just had had a better PR firm.

There are 7 billion people on the planet, I wonder how many of them can do something special.

With all the talk about how great some of the quarterbacks are today I wonder how good they would have been back in the day when the rules allowed you to almost kill them.

As selective as women are about who they want to marry it’s hard to imagine those marriages going wrong. But of course men not being selective enough may be one of the main reasons.

HOCKEY, FOOTBALL & SEX !

Recently my Winnipeg Jets were in town to take on the Panthers so I thought it was about time I took in a hockey game again. The only changes I noticed since I had last been to one was they have brought laser lights, Cheerleaders and Rock & Roll to the party otherwise its still just the same great game. Hey I could even still sing along with Oh Canada until we got to the parts my old buddies from Transcona claim Quebec changed. I took advantage of the evening to do a little research for my project about what women really want. I was curious about whether or not Women who attended sports events had a different perspective on life than their sisters did. So I quickly gathered together a small focus group (pictured) and continued my deep probes.

What percentage do you suppose of Mitt’s “the very poor” are legitimately poor.

I see everybody is excited about the fact a bunch of people were hired in December to help out with the Christmas rush so the unemployment rate went down. What happens in future months is the big question.

12 year old girls listen to AM Radio

I read in Moto’s Blog that Sgt. Harry Berres HMSC said when he joined the military it was illegal to be Gay, then it became optional, and now it is legal. Harry claims he’s getting out before it becomes mandatory.

I just read that 80% of Women would rather have sex than watch the Super Bowl. Wow if that gets around it’s going to make it a tough call for a lot of guys. Luckily for me I didn’t have an opportunity so I saw New York beat New England.

What is it about drinking that one is always one too many and two are never enough.

Bill Taylor said he has living proof that even though Women claim their giving birth is more painful than a man getting kicked in the crotch is simply not true. After a year or two Women tend to say maybe it would be nice to have another kid but no Man will ever say he’s ready to be kicked in the crotch again.

Some of the Women I commented on in my last Blog claim what I was learning from them they weren’t teaching.

Mark this down under sometimes you cant win for losing. American Idol is one of the biggest shows on TV with 20 something million viewers but all you hear is … Yeah but it used to have 35.

Over the years how many and the way they listen to radio hasn’t changed much but how they measure it sure has. I wonder when they’ll finally come up with a method that’s true.

Putting current programming techniques on an already very successful heritage Radio Station may not be a very wise move.

It has taking me years to figure out that as you go through life you should be able to do anything you want as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else.

As good as most Athletes are they still aren’t as good as they think they are and that’s when the trouble begins.

I finally figured out that when women talk about equality they aren’t talking about wanting to be equal with men. What they are really talking about is having the same rights as beautiful women.

Every once in a while I’ll see some cars and trucks on the freeway here in Florida with Border Patrol written on the side of their vehicles. Seeing as the border is in the middle of the Ocean I would think a boat would be a much better idea.

Back in the day when cars got about 7 miles per gallon gas cost about 50 cents a gallon. Now that cars get 30 or more miles a gallon gas costs close to $4. Does anybody but me see a connection there.

Years ago we did a promotion on WRMF with Hemingway’s brother Leicester who claimed he knew where the fountain of youth was. I remember thinking at the time that we already have enough youth so maybe what we really should be searching for was the fountain of smart.

Most of the guys I knew who had reputations as womanizers never even to come on to women they didn’t have to, the women all came on to them.

Are Blondes aware they are having more fun. Chris Duffy also wondered if the reason Blonde jokes are only one line was so Men will get them too.

Mike Kenneally e mailed me a while back saying that while he was watching the President’s State Of The Union address he couldn’t help but think … Hillary needs a new do man!

A lot of Radio people these days are very good at placing blame elsewhere. Maybe thats only because they’re not very good at anything else.

I was just reading that the Big 8 CKLW in Detroit back in the day had 23 people in their News Room. Now there aren’t 23 people in a whole Radio Station.

The big question following winning a championship is what the hell do you do now because the guys you won it with are never ever going to put out as much as they did while they trying to win it. What say you New York.

Even though more folks spend more time watching TV then ever going to the movies, TV Stars are still nothing compared to Movie Stars.

Ronald Reagan said the best social program is a job.

As I write this I am in Las Vegas with my good friend Reid Reker celebrating the fact that once again he is a free Man. It’s always good to be with your buddies for those special moments but I’m just a little afraid of how my head is going to feel tomorrow morning.

This Is Dedicated To The Ones I Love !

I received some complaints that I was making light of rape in my last Blog and must be a Women hater. I was not writing about rape in any way and am outraged that someone would think so. Not only do I think rape is an inexcusable hate crime but I also have two lovely daughters (pictured) who if harmed in this or any other way the justice system wont be needing a Judge or Jury, I’ll just take care of it myself. As is usual for me I was pointing out more of the weird differences between the sexes. One of those differences is the unwritten rule … Thou shalt not help, hold, hug, kiss, caress, touch, approach, speak to, or walk beside a woman without her permission. Women on the other hand are restrained by no such rule when dealing with Men. Getting that point I realize would require a little thinking but what was I thinking is what your thinking right!
As far as me being a woman hater that’s laughable because I love and adore women. I must admit though that I am a little fearful of the power they have over me so I study them and what I now know of them I learned from them. I’m hoping to put that knowledge to good use by putting it on the radio soon and make a few bucks. The following is just some of the stuff some very wonderful Women have taught me. They wouldn’t lie to me would they?

My Sister Sandra showed me how easy it was for her to have me wrapped around her little finger which should have served as a warning for what was ahead.

My Mother told me I shouldn’t spend to much time alone because she claimed I have hermit type tendencies.

My Aunts showed me how cruel Women could be to each other while still loving one another.

My Grandmother taught me I was indeed just part of the family so I wouldn’t be getting any special instructions from her any time soon so I should stop waiting for them. (I’m still having trouble with that today)

Kelley Mitchell made me realize I know more about Woman now than I ever wanted to know.

Linda Stein told me the reason the Women in “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Trilogy” were attracted to and wanted to bed the kinda wimpy frumpy Michael Bloomquest was because he apologised to Women even when he had no reason to. She claims now that that wasn’t what she said, but that’s what I heard.

Laura Neville said the reason Women are so attracted to musicians is because they think of them as “God Like” which certainly isn’t even close to the truth. She unfortunately is somewhat of an expert on the subject.

Heather Emrick showed me one night that every once in a while a woman can bring it all together so well that a wife will lean over to her husband and whisper … You can leave me for her!

Ann McMartin taught me that most Women only have had at the most 5 affairs in their life. She also claimed that girls even have their Bridesmaids dresses all picked out by 11 years of age and are only looking for the right person to play the part of the groom at the huge wedding they have planned.

Bridget Hubbard told me she generally doesn’t let Radio people into her home but seeing as I seemed to be one of the smarter ones I was welcome until I said something dumb. I didn’t overstay my welcome but I’m not sure I got out in time.

Karen Curtis is showing me you can fight your way back and be great again.

Nance Chapman explained to me it’s OK to wear the big fake diamond ring as long as you have the matching real one back home in the safe.

Anne Craig proved you can actually become more sexy and beautiful as time goes by.

Beatrice Stackpole told me I needed to have a Latino girl and it should be one from Venezuela if at all possible because they possessed a certain magic that very few women have. But she also warned me to be wary because their magic was very addictive and life changing.

Donna Schaneen convinced me you can get a reputation of sleeping around without ever having to sleep around.

Joan Vidler proved to me that there are still some very good Women out there.

Kristine Hansen is going to show me and the World that age is just a number as she does Playboy the 2nd time around.

Lesley Palmiter proves my theory that most good real estate agents are very good looking.

Joyce Kaufman taught me if a woman has tenacity she can easily make her own way in the big bad world.

Cheryl Backes proved to me that over time that you can develop some affection for a Women even though you only get to see her at her Brother’s weddings.

Jan Hall and Marnie Howard showed me you can be very beautiful and very smart at the same time.

Betsy Cameron more than proves that theory to me weekly.

Robin Marshall makes me wonder about what she is or isn’t wearing all the time.

Joasia Holotka taught me some fantasies can last a lifetime.

Jo Myers killed me with how strong she is by making me laugh while she was going through a life threatening procedure.

Lorenda Rae showed me you can be a single Mom, nice, sweet, Religious, and very sexy all at the same time.

Pam Cesak convinced me that a Woman can be very very classy and still be a fun broad too.

Delilah proved to me that she deserves huge money because she does good with it.

Christina Johns shows me all the time that Men are powerless around a truly soft and sweet women.

Mary Ptak proved to me that you can take sweet to a whole new and wonderful level.

Cindy Adair convinced me a Woman who counts your money can look sexy doing it.

Jamie Gold taught me that most Women leave the bar scene at 27 and you’d better beware the ones who don’t.

Jo Ann Plug showed me once again that beautiful Women have a certain charm that gets you to work for free on their behalf.

One of the many things my Daughter Candis taught me was that breaking up with a “true love” was good for at least 3 new songs.

My Daughter Cami made me aware of the fact that you can be too young and too old all at the same time when you’re sweet 16. She also made me realize me my love for her is unconditional.

Barbara Hilliard told me Sex isn’t everything so I better shape up pretty soon and look for other good things in a Woman.

Robin Garrett taught me that a lot of Women are attracted to intelligent and powerful Men.

Sharon Henwood convinced me that sometimes good things come to he who waits.

Cyber Girl taught me that you can know a lot about some Women without even really knowing them at all.

Savvy Scopolleti taught me there is no better protector of a Man than the Women who loves him.

My Daughters second that emotion.

Lindy Rome convinced me that some Women are definitely born to lead.

Linda Krone showed me that Women make much better Radio Sales people than Men.

Danna Powers told me sometimes a Father is a better care giver for a child than a Mother.

Embree McDermid convinced me long ago that I had a lot more to learn about Women.

Linda Duffy taught me that sometimes a Man gets a way more than he deserves.

Debbie Abrams showed me that even self confessed gold diggers can be fun.

Lana Johns proved to me that one of the greatest things that could ever happen to a Man was becoming a Father.

Kari Summerfield proved it to me once again so count me in as a total believer but hey enough is enough.

Candis took it to a whole new level by making me a Buppa!

Margaret Mayer taught me to never tease a Woman unless you’re prepared for her to take you up on it.

Female authors showed me that a night of wild sex is only good copy for about half a page in their new book unlike the two chapters it takes for Males to describe the very same night.

Groupies made me run which I still do.