Monthly Archives: October 2018

Geo’s Media Blog. (R2-D2) 11/05/18

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A few weeks ago my daughter Cami who goes to USF, invited me to visit her in Tampa to celebrate my birthday. Speaking of birthdays, hers is tomorrow, “Happy Birthday, Baby.” Anyway, she planned to cook me dinner and then take me out to celebrate with a few of her college friends. It sounded like a lot of fun, so I booked a room at a boutique hotel called the West Wing and jumped on a train. 
Now the thing of it is, whenever Cami visits me, she usually heads out with her friends about the same time I’m headed to bed. Armed with this knowledge, I hung around my hotel room, did a little writing, and grabbed myself a little nap. When I got up and was about to take a shower, I noticed that there was a note under the door. When I opened it up, It said that they were unable to clean my room because I had the “do not disturb” sign hung on the door handle. However, it went on to say, if I needed anything, please feel free to call the front desk for it.
I suddenly realized while getting ready to go to Cami’s for dinner, that I’d used up all the coffee which I’d probably really need the next morning so I called down to the front desk for some more. They said that they would send right up along with some sugar and milk.
About ten minutes later the phone rang, and a recorded voice said that a robot was outside my door with my order. A robot, I said to myself? When I slowly opened my door and peered out, there stood a slimmer version of R2-D2. It had an electronic screen in front that read “Hello,” and as I stood there staring at it, a lid on top opened up. Inside was all my stuff in a basket, and when I took it out, the electronic screen lit up with, “Is everything you need there?” When I clicked on, “I’m all set,” the lid closed, and the robot rolled off down the hallway. Wow!
Oh, how did the celebration go you ask? Cami took me to a funky bar where her friends met us which was very fun. (see picture on top) Not only was I drinking drinks that I’d never heard of before, but I was also doing shooters and shots. We finally closed the place at around 1:30 in the morning and as fun, as the party was, what I’ll never forget how cool little R2-D2 was.
GEO’S LIFE-LINERS
REALITY

Pulling your stomach in ain’t gonna help when you step on the scales.

The best way to frighten a cop is to threaten his pension.

Wanna stop war? Make it illegal for anybody to profit from it.

As you grow older, your big dreams tend to grow much smaller.

Women appear to be more open to Gays and Lesbians, but it may be a little self-serving.

The people killed in Pittsburgh may have been Jewish, but more importantly, they were Americans. Anyone who hurts  Americans, including Americans, deserve the worst punishment imaginable.

The smartphone has made everybody a star.

QUESTIONS?
Is it still women and children first?

Seeing as the Beatles were the first modern era long hairs, after working with them, I wonder how long it took George Martin to start growing his out?

Speaking of the early Beatles, they sounded much better in mono.

Why do I think that the CIA’s version of the greater good was created by a rich man?

Is USF’s defensive coach gone yet?

Speaking of the rich, does anybody besides them care about the f**king Saudis?

Wasn’t America created by the people who came here because they were tired of being pushed around by the rich? Well, right now it feels like we’re right back where we started from.

Why would there be a shortcut to any place worth going?

POLITICAL & POLITICALLY INCORRECT

Do I have this right? We hate the Russians because they may have meddled in our elections, but we’re OK with all Muslims even though some of them are continuing to kill people all over the world?

SPORTS
Nice to see that the Winnipeg Jets are in the hunt for the cup once again this year.

When are we gonna make the overpaid goat of the game as famous as the star of the game?

Wow, the Saints beat up on the previously unbeaten Rams Huh?

COMEDY
My daughter Cami has a friend named Jackie Sanchez who is trying her hand at stand-up comedy, so we went to the Improv at City Place to see her perform. We’d arrived so early that we got seats right down in front (pictured on top) which I don’t mind saying, made me a little bit nervous. Fortunately, a shaken not stirred Vodka Martini with two olives somewhat calmed me down.
Thankfully the comics who were on before Jackie, (see picture below) left me alone, and she turned out to be very funny. The thing that cracked me up big time though, was when she said, “I can tell that you’re all sitting there waiting for me to confess that I’m a Lesbian. Well I’m not,” she went on to say, “As a matter of fact, I like older men, and the one I’m currently dating is so old that when he uses corny lines like, see ya later alligator, I feel obligated to respond with, after a while pedophile.”

For some sneak peeks at some upcoming Geo’s Media Blogs, go to GeorgeJohns.com, or you can google Writing Radio’s Wrongs to see a brand new Blog that Bob Christy and I are writing together about the state of today’s radio. On Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio. Sharing and commenting is much appreciated.
 

 

 

 

Geo’s Media Blog. (Non Stop Contests) 10/29/18

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When I worked for Fairbanks Broadcasting, Jim Hilliard gave we corporate guys one rule, if you get dragged into Mr. F’s office, “Blame everything on me, then get the hell out. He loves to make decisions but we don’t want him making any because we end up having to live with them.”
Being the creative type, I was forever dreaming up new things for the upcoming survey periods which of course I had to run by our FCC attorney, MikeBader. Unfortunately, Mike was the kinda guy who liked to play it very safe, so no was his favorite word. Seeing as yes has always been my favorite, upon hearing Mr. Bader’s latest no, I finally lost it and stormed into Mr. Fairbanks office saying, “I didn’t move to Indianapolis, just to hear some lawyer tell me no all the time. I’ve created some good stuff which I believe will get us a ton of new listeners, so I need a yes now and then, and with that, I stormed out.
A few days later I received a call from a guy who told me that his name was John King (pictured above) and he’d he had been assigned the task of figuring out how to say yes to me. Wow, how cool was that, I had my own FCC attorney. I love John, and over the years not only did we put some incredible promotions together we also kept the license and I didn’t do any jail time.
The very first promotion we did together may have been our best. It was called the Magic Ticket, and I still remember describing to him exactly how it worked only to have him interrupt me halfway through my presentation with, “George, George, just tell me this, are you planning on giving away the prize?” When I told him that I was, he said, “Then why are you bothering me with it? “The “Magic Ticket” was so successful that WIBC ended up with a 19.3 share in the book plus the sales twist we put on it, produced an extra hundred grand in revenue. 
The “Ticket” shook the whole market up so badly that a rival GM bragged to his staff that he was going to make sure that we would never be able to run that contest again. The next thing we knew the FCC was demanding that we send them the details about our little promotion which included all produced promos, oneliners, and any paperwork that included the words “Magic Ticket. The FCC investigation resulted in my counterpart in sales, Dick Yancey being able to syndicate it quite successfully all over America. As he said to the potential clients, “I’ve got the only radio promotion in the country that not only gets you ratings and revenue, the FCC has already pre-approved it.” Oh did I forget to mention that the “Magic Ticket” also bought me my first Mercedes rag top?

The last project John and I worked on was the old, “Don’t Say Hello” contest, which used to blow up rating books but the FCC blew it up. Now you have to get a person’s permission before recording them or putting them on the air. After thinking about it for quite a while, I finally came up with the solution, and when I ran by John, he said, “I’m not sure it satisfies the intent of the law, but it certainly satisfies the law as it stands.” I now may be the only person in America who knows how to get “Don’t Say Hello” back on the air in its original form. Does anybody need any ratings?

GEO’S LIFE-LINERS

POLITICAL & POLITICALLY INCORRECT
Trump has accomplished something in his life that few Democrats or Republicans ever will; he was elected President of the United States.

Is the war over on drugs and terror over? Who won?

My Daddy taught me that the way you spot who’s in charge is to notice who picks up the tab. This observation may also explain the lack of females in leadership positions.

Being a so-called privileged white male, I can only imagine how much more successful I would have become had I been offered the same incentives as the so-called underprivileged.

I wonder how much Hillary gets paid for her speaking engagements now that she can no longer do any favors.

The thing of it is, we need to watch the eyes of the politicians. If they’re watching the eyes of big business, it doesn’t matter if they’re Democrat or Republican, they’re evil, don’t vote for them.

LOVE & MARRIAGE
To sleep with him or not sleep with him, That is the question Ladies? If you do, it could be the start of a beautiful life or the beginning of the end.

Men are looking for the one; women are looking for the right one.
 
MEDIA

Local radio cannot compete with the big boys on a national scale, but the “bigs” can’t compete with us locally unless we use their copy.

Isn’t it weird that even though radio is all about advertising, it doesn’t believe in advertising?

The only radio stations that can afford to do decent news now is Public Radio.
 
REALITY
The least liked day of the week has got to be Monday which might explain why most legal holidays in Canada are scheduled then including Thanksgiving.

The last to realize that they’re failures are those who failed.

How quickly morals change depends on the amount of money involved.

The thing you want the most in life will probably be the thing that ends up destroying you.

What businessman anywhere, ever went bankrupt because of war?

Fire insurance rates must be a bitch in California?

The Sox had their way with the Dodgers in Boston, and except for the 2 game, game, pretty well in LA too. Congrats Champs!

Speaking of the Sox and Dodgers, the ratings must be incredible.

Danm! USF gets beat, not much defense.

What an incredible night in South Florida. Sox win and it goes down into the 60’s.

For some sneak peeks at some upcoming Geo’s Media Blogs, go to GeorgeJohns.com, or you can google Writing Radio’s Wrongs to see a brand new Blog that Bob Christy and I are writing together about the state of today’s radio. On Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio. Sharing and commenting is much appreciated.

 

Geo’s Media Blog. (The Good Ship Candi-Curt) 10/22/18

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Years ago when I moved to San Diego to start my radio consultancy business, I bought an old home on Coronado Island that was built in 1914 which was the year my father was born. However, all that really meant was that it needed some major remodeling. (pictured on top shortly after the remodel) I loved living in Coronado, it was kinda like going back in time to the 40’s, you walked everywhere so you really had no need for a car.
The island also boasted it’s fair share of the rich and famous and the one I got to hang out with was the legendary Jack McCoy. Unfortunately, though, there came that fateful day when Jack talked me into doing the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. We were sitting on a park bench in front of his house talking a little radio when he said to me, “George, you live a half a block from the ocean, you have to get a boat, man!” Now think about this, growing up in Winnipeg, I don’t think I was ever even in a rowboat let alone an ocean-going vessel, so I had no business even thinking about, let alone buying a boat.
Think about it I did though, and after spending a couple of glorious weekends on Jack’s boat snorkeling and running with the Dolphins, I was hooked. So when Gordon Zlot who had been kicking my tires for a couple of months, hired me to help him with KZST in Santa Rosa, I said to Jack, let’s do it. From that day on I referred to Gordon as my boat client, but unlike my boat which is long gone, Gordon is still around except I now refer to him as my longtime friend who I’m proud to say was recently inducted into the Bay Area’s Radio Hall Of Fame. Jack had told me that he was wired at the Coronado Yacht Club and should I become brave enough to don a captains hat, he was almost positive he could get me a boat slip. Then the next thing I knew, I was the proud owner of a tricked out 26ft Sea Ray which I named the Candi-Curt after my kids. (pictured above)
True to his word, when my boat showed up, I had a boat slip for it because my name had also shown up at the top of the list. As I stood there gazing upon my new boat, I remember thinking, “Hell, you could live on that thing.” On my very first weekend as a boat owner, Jack took me out into the bay and started teaching me how to operate my new vessel. It was a beautiful day, just a gentle breeze blowing, mid 70’s and not a cloud in the sky as we left the dock. Once out into Glorietta Bay, Jack turned my boat over to me and as I took it under the Coronado bridge, I remember singing to myself, “I’m Your Captain” and thinking that life was good.
Yeah, life was good alright, but in my case, it was about to be over. Coming straight at us was a giant Aircraft Carrier which looked like a whole city. Jack shouted, “Hard to starboard” as he pointed to the right, and I cranked it to the right as hard as I could. Jack then pushed the throttle all the way forward and my new boat fairly lept out of the water. However, even as fast as we were going, it still seemed like it took forever to get out of the carrier’s way.
The next time Jack took me out, once again we crossed under the Coronado Bridge, but instead of taking on an Aircraft Carrier, this time he pointed at a red sign across the bay and told me to head towards it. Jack said that this was the place where you buy fuel for boats and while we were there we might as well top it off.  As we got closer to our destination, Jack told me to line up behind a boat that was in there taking on fuel but for safety reasons, we’d idle back out here until he was finished. At that moment the boat in front of us blew up, and I don’t think I ever went out on my boat again.

GEO’S LIFE-LINERS

PHILOSOPHICAL
Things are never as we imagine them to be, sometimes they’re worse.
 
We teach our sons, we learn from our daughters.
 
If you don’t laugh at yourself, someone will do it for you.

Telling me what’s wrong pays a dollar an hour, fixing it pays a thousand.

REALITY
What I have come to understand about global warming is that for the first time in history our planet doesn’t cool down overnight as much. Now the earth doesn’t have enough time to heal itself before sunrise.
 
If men are obsessed with breasts, why do we only spend five minutes with them before moving on?
 
Understanding the truth is easy, finding out what it is, now that’s hard.
 

The winners who wrote it down created our history books.

I respect most police officers, but until they out the bad ones, I guess they too will have to suffer the consequences.

Wow, the Sox are playing the Dodgers in the World Series. What an epic battle this is gonna be.

POLITICAL & POLITICALLY INCORRECT
Germany seems to have dealt with their involvement in the Holocaust far better than America has handled slavery.
 
The big difference between the greedy people in Canada and those in America is that the Canadians do it with a little more class.

Speaking of Canadians, I understand that it’s now legal for them to go one toke over the line.
 
Do the Chinese eat Chinese food every day, I know the rest of us sure can’t.
 

The only people who bow down to the wealthy are the Democrats and the Republicans. We don’t because they don’t share with us.

Doesn’t it seem strange that one of the very few things the Republicans and Democrats agree upon is our sending troops to the desert even though most of us don’t understand or agree with?

RADIO
The only thing Jim Hilliard remembers about my tenure at WIBC in Indianapolis was my cutting the spot load from 21 units an hour to 19.

For some sneak peeks at some upcoming Geo’s Media Blogs, go to GeorgeJohns.com or you can google Writing Radio’s Wrongs to see a brand new Blog that Bob Christy and I are writing together about the state of today’s radio. On Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio. Sharing and commenting is greatly appreciated.