#11 Sleeping With An 8th Grader (from Nov 30 /15)

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Sometime after my wife and I split up and my kids were both grown I made a special trip to San Diego to visit with my son Curt (photo) who was still living with his mother because the time had come for us to have a father and son talk.
The message I was there to deliver was the fact that I was no longer going to be sending him any money so he needed to figure out how to take care of himself but I also told him that whenever he figured out what he wanted to do with his life but it took more education to do so, Dad would definitely pay for that. Curt claimed that he had being expecting our little chat and had already decided what he wanted to do. When I excitedly asked what his plan was, he said … I just wanna hang out Dad!

OTHER THINGS TO THINK ABOUT OR NOT…

If our government is really concerned about climate change don’t you think it should go after Mexico, China, and India instead and stop beating us up all the time.

​Speaking of Mexico how come nobody is slamming the President of Mexico for the fact that his citizens are fleeing his country by the thousands.

​All that’s going on in radio today is figuring out how to be the last man standing when every body is fired.

​On air folks have to figure out how to get the people to just like them not love them. There’s no money in having them love you because it’s impossible to get enough people to love you to become successful.

You can almost play any song you want on the radio as long as your explanation of why is interesting.​

​If a teacher is caught sleeping with an 8th grade student what should the punishment be.

​A very dear friend of mine who is not doing well is mostly concerned about how his wife will do after he is gone rather than his well being. I wonder if wives have the same concern.

​How many games does a team have to lose before they finally decide to teach the kicker how to play football.​

​How do those college football players afford all those hair extensions.

​Change does not come about without some inconvenience.

​Is it still racist if you cut someone some slack because of their race.

Having a wife doesn’t change a man as much as having a daughter(S) does.

​You’ll never be happy until you can say what you mean and mean what you say.

I finally saw the movie “Sniper” which was well acted but I couldn’t remember if it was the Republicans or Democrats who told me that I was not supposed to like it.

There are six sides to every argument but unfortunately most Americans only see things through their Democrat or Republican eyes.

The rule of never spending more than 30% of your take home pay on your mortgage has never changed but a lot of people have been forced to ignore it.

The biggest risk of all is never taking any.
If you have rich friends there every place on our planet is wonderful.
 
I know a whole lot about very little.
 
The Beatles never dreamed big enough so they flamed out early.
 
Opportunity always needs some help before presenting itself.
 

How come the people who have absolutely nothing to say take so long to say it. OK I’ll try to edit

It’s a lot easier to communicate your point of view when you use a poem, a song, a movie, a play, a dance, a painting, a sculpture, or a photograph to do so with but sometimes a kiss does it best of all.
 
I understand that women always talk about sex until men show up.
 
Speaking of sex, a woman’s memory usually only goes back five love affairs.
A long time ago my Mother told me that I should never spend too much time alone because I have Hermit tendencies. Hey maybe I need to stop doing this Blog and get out there.

The west wins the Grey Cup again as The Edmonton Eskimos beat the Ottawa Redblacks in Winnipeg 26-20.

Years ago when Delilah had signed a new deal I asked her if she still had all the homes she owned. She told me that she had given them to her staff … Take that Mr. Businessman!

I spent Thanksgiving weekend up in Tampa with my daughter Cami who goes to USF. On black Friday I told her that I thought it would be fun for us to go Christmas shopping together which she agreed with and immediately took me straight to the grocery store.

Speaking of USF they closed out their season by spanking their rivals UCF 44 – 3. Looks like they’re bowl bound. Go Bulls.

Sneak peeks at upcoming Blogs @ GeorgeJohns.com, on Twitter@GeoOfTheRadio
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 





 

 

CONSEQUENCES. (new for Jan 11/16)

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While visiting Detroit years ago and listening to Jim Harper on WNIC I heard him play a commercial for a local car dealer. The spot claimed that they were selling Fords today for the lowest price ever so upon my arrival at the station I went directly to the sales managers office.
Once there I asked if he could hook me up with the Ford dealer so I could buy a few cars from him before he runs out. He looked at me strangely then asked how many I wanted and when I told him at least 5 or 6 he said … You’ve got to be kidding! I assured him that I was very serious because in 1925 Henry Ford sold Fords in this very town for less than $300 a pop so if they can do better than that today I’m prepared to buy as many as I can and ship them back home to San Diego where I plan on selling them. He didn’t get it!
 
SOME OTHER THOUGHTS THAT MAY BE WORTH THINKING ABOUT OR NOT… 
 
Women are a lot easier to deal with if you don’t desire them.
 
Mr. Fairbanks once told me that what America really needed was stronger rats.
 
It didn’t seem that long ago when we were all excited because an Indy race car finally went 200 mph. Now Dodge is advertising that one of their new cars goes 206.
 
AS soon as Walt Disney found someone who could draw Mickey Mouse better than him he fired himself.
 
There comes a time in your life when the only women you care about impressing are your daughters.
 
The only place on earth where health care, education, food, clothing, housing, and utilities are free is in prison.
 
Most people only change when something very emotional happens to them.
 
I don’t know anybody who thinks that they are overpaid.
 
When Ron Chapman he told me that he wanted to be big enough to have difficulty walking down the street I immediately ordered a new “Vette” ’cause I knew that we were already halfway there.
 
Only very unique music sounds any good on AM radio.
 
Good product produces more revenue than good selling does.
 
Muses and demons both whisper in the ears of gifted people but unfortunately use the same voice.

Speaking of gifted, sadly David Bowie is gone at 69.

If you only do your show for people who don’t know who you are pretty soon everybody will know who you are,
 
I’ve always prided myself in being a student of radio except it ain’t been teaching me much anymore.
 
Most things claimed to have been done for safety reasons have absolutely nothing to do with safety.
 
Most motivational rev up parties do little whereas rating parties which sometimes change lives.
 
I only tease the people I like.
 
9 times outta 10 a creative person can whip a gifted person but none of us stand a chance against a gifted person who is also creative.

Watching the Netflix series “The Making Of a Killer” makes me even nervous about driving through Wisconsin.

The only break on the radio that counts is the one you’re about to do.
 
People listen to the radio they don’t watch it but if you don’t get them to look at occasionally you ain’t makin’ dick.
 
When the President mentions all the hardworking Americans he’s not talking about Government employees right?
 
Have you ever wondered who “they” really are.

Ahh the age old question … Is it the singer or is it the song. One thing I know for sure though is the songwriters always get paid so that might be a clue.

Most men don’t realize that when they commit to a woman they are also committing to her whole family.

The first time you understand the love of a parent is when you become one.

What the hell are those people saying on the speaker at Mickey D’s drive through.

It isn’t that difficult to reinvent yourself and become the person you really wanna be.

Did you realize that the only reason we even exist is because of a few inches of top soil and a little rain.

Just because you’re not left doesn’t make you right.

Unfortunately some of the bad things you did as a kid for kicks end up lasting forever, they’re called consequences.

10612645_10154439644089307_2401220633193255004_nI’ve had a terrible week as my dear friend Gary Russell recently passed away but now I’m finally now able to chuckle at some of the great memories I have of him and I over the years.
Gar lucked out 4 years ago when he married “Young Joan” the type of woman the rest of us only get to dream about ever having. (The picture is Gar and me taken at my birthday party in San Diego which they attended while he and Joan were on their honeymoon). As sad as this all is I will tell you that they managed to cram more living into their short time together than most people do in a lifetime. RIP buddy, I miss ya and love ya!

More @ GeorgeJohns.com, on twitter @GeoOfTheRadio
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Memorable Things I’ve Been Told. (new for Feb 15/16)

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Hugh Heller told me that when he finally got to live his dream by leaving the loud busy world of LA behind for a remote location in Arkansas he unfortunately discovered that he had also left all his friends behind too.

I was told by Mario Andretti that if you feel like you’ve got everything under control you’re definitely not going fast enough.

Mr. Fairbanks taught me that continuing your pitch after getting a yes could only lead to a no.

Jim Hilliard warned me to never get into a fight with a guy who buys ink by the barrel. Hey I wonder how much ink there is in this old lap top ’cause I’m ready to rock!

Frank Osborn told me that every PD gets two books and every GM gets two PD’s.

Jan Hall claims that I’d never last more than two minutes with her.

My Father Sandy Johns told me that I needed to get a job because in the Johns family we don’t play guitar for a living, we work.

Mark Hubbard taught me that in order to be successful you have to be First Best or Different.

Rich Stevens told me that nobody was better than him at self promotion.

When Terry Keilty gave me hell for hiring Roger Klein claiming he was too good for Ottawa and would just leave. I made his prediction come true by taking Roger with me when I left for Toronto.

Tim Moore showed me that I’m just a story teller, he’s the writer.

Bobby Cole claims it’s impossible to have 3 affairs going on at the same time because just when you think you’ve got it done, all 3 will be waiting for your arrival for a romantic lunch.

Al Ham told me that when someone steals all your “Music Of Your Life” tapes to create their own format you steal his wife.

My uncle Jack claimed that all women were exactly the same, they just looked different.

Jack McCoy advised me to never to tell him anything I didn’t want him to use.

Bob Christy claimed the way he marketed himself was to sit at a bar and wait for the ladies to drag him out to their cars.

Roger Snowdon claimed that nobody ever moved to Florida to work harder.

Whe I asked the Hunny Bunny what the hell were all the cars were honking at as we walked down a Miami street together. My ass was her reply.

Garth Brooks told me that he was wild in High School but not near as wild as he wanted to be because he was too afraid to be.

My Grandpa Ben Vince told me as I will tell Nathaniel … Life is really about faster cars older whiskey younger women and more money. He neglected to tell me though that any one of them can also ruin your life.

Dick Dresner taught me that the way you get new listeners is just like you track the big horned sheep. You don’t, you simply figure out where they’re going and be there waiting for them with some fine product.

Brent Farris claims that when George Johns starts talking sales radio is really over.

David Manning showed me that can ruin a $2000.00 suit simply by wearing a matching pair of $200.00 shoes.

Martin Milner informed me that there never could be a route 66 reunion TV show ’cause the people in all those little towns across America that they shot the series were just waiting for Martin’s co-star George Maharis to show up again.

Rick Moranis told me the the main reason “Ghost Busters” was so big was because most of the cast were writers so you never knew what your co-stars were going to say to you when the camera was rolling. The fear of that kept everything tense but also created the magic.

Cat Simon said that no bit he did was ever too long as if he made me laugh.

When I told Joe Amaturo that I went to the Manitoba Institute Of Technology he said the name was a way too long and that I should just shorten it to MIT.

Tom Cochran said he was so excited about getting a shot at becoming a news guy at WIBC in Indy that he cut off his long hair for the interview with Fred Heckman. He got the job but as he was leaving Fred said … Oh yeah and don’t forget to get a haircut.

When I asked Reid Reker why he was living with the Woman he was divorced from he said it was because you couldn’t be married to a Woman that wild but she was sure fun to live with.

Ralph Connor told me that people don’t listen to TV they watch it.

Ann McMartin told me that Women only remember 5 affairs and absolutely no one night stands.

Delilah told me she gave away all the homes she owned in Seattle to her staff when she got her big new deal.

Bill Gardner said he didn’t think I ever lied to him but there was a possibility that I may have left out some of the truth occasionally.

Russ Morley told me if the subject of sex ever came up at dinner there would be none for dessert.

Tom Skinner asked me if I’d ever heard of “Client Run”.

Jan Jefferies told Robin Garrett after she had rejected some of the tunes he was picking out for Valentine’s Day that she didn’t speak for all Women. That may be true she responded but you don’t speak for any.

Robin Barrach told me that money is an aphrodisiac.

Ed Shadek told manager Jack Collins that if George Johns or any of his people didn’t like something neither did the Shadeks.

Jarl Mohn claimed that I taught him that “If it’s Happening In The Halls It Will Happen On The Air” with which he started “E” Entertainment.

Al Mair said that the reason he came all the way to Saskatoon to buy me dinner was because he didn’t think I’d be there long.

Ivan Braiker claimed that it was what I didn’t do that made my stations great.

Cris Conner told me he kept a clip board in his ride because his whole show showed up on the streets of Indy while he was driving to work so all he had to do was write it down.

Jamie Gold told me that I should forget about where I came from and get on with where I should be.

Vic Gold taught me that you have to make the folks see what you’re trying to say.

Mike Vance told me that it was Aristotle who said that truth is truth not what we may perceive it to be.

Barbara Hilliard scolded me by saying that there’s much more to a relationship than sex.

George Derenchuk said that if I would give him my undivided attention the first 20 minutes of his class we could talk about football for the next 20 and I would also get an “A”.

Upon hearing a talk show host talk about me in the middle of the night Jim Quail said … Holy s**t you really are somebody.

When Hal Ross of London Records heard the Jury’s tape of “Until You Do” he said … Hell I’ll release that!

When my first radio hire Gary Russell arrived in Saskatoon and heard CKOM he asked … What the f**k is this!

Ron Chapman admitted that in the early days he wasn’t really paying attention to what I was saying but when our first good book showed up he asked if I would mind repeating myself.

Reg Johns asked for the name of the person who taught me how to e mail so he could kill him.

Betsy Cameron claimed that I was the only person who could make her laugh but because she was a lawyer she didn’t want to.

Chuck Riley warned me to never ever let them wear me down.

J Robert Wood told me that nobody will ever offer you a “piece of the rock” you have to ask for it.

Randy Bachman told me that when he and Neil Young were talking about the early days in Winnipeg Neil said that I had one of the early cool guitars in Winnipeg.

Our friend Daryl B used to say that he was taking care of business on the radio all the time so Randy Bachman recorded a song about it.

Tim Reever says that selling without ratings builds character.

Candis told me on her honeymoon that I was gonna be a grandpa.

When I asked Curtis if he had thought about what he wanted to do in the future he said … Yeah I just wanna hang out!

Cami asked me if I was hanging out with any of the people who lived in my condo yet and when I told her I wasn’t because they were too old she said … Well you’re old too daddy, Ouch!

Ted Rogers told me that in order to become even more successful a leader may have to leave behind the people who made them successful. Gordon Zlot disagrees claiming you stick with the folks that brung ya!

Lana Sharon Linda Jamie Kari and Laura said a lotta things which can’t be repeated in order to keep my Blog office friendly.



 

 

 

The Ladies Are Always Welcome But… (new for Jan 18/16) #10 of my 12 most read Blogs in 2016.

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Two of my all time favorite midday jocks in the world are Bill Gardner who quacked his way to the Billboard personality of the year award from high atop his perch at KVIL in Dallas and the man pictured here, Ken LeMann.
I Recently told Ken that I would never forget a great line that I heard him say on WRMF … “If you get up on your tippie toes you can see the weekend from here”. He responded with, I gave you 20 straight years of great shows and #1 books and all you f**king remember is that!
 
MORE OBSCURE STUFF TO PONDER…
 
Even though my Blogs are intended for men, ladies are always welcome but they may need to buckle up.
 
I would love to see a list of all the pro athletes who helped out the communities that they came from.
 
There are very few nice guys at the top.
 
The early stages of a relationship are so addictive but the rest not so much.
 
The trouble with May – December relationships is that your not welcome in her world and she’s not welcome in yours.
 
I was reading somewhere that only 50% of women understand a man dating someone 20 years younger than himself whereas a 100% of men get it.
 
Except for my daughters Candis and Cami I find that women generally are not as innocent as they appear.
 
Why does married life seem to resemble the life your bride was already living.
 
Most women understand the need for alimony and child support until you have to send it to your ex.
 
When John Lennon said … The Beatles were just a band but Yoko’s my life, I understood what he meant but I still wonder when he last had his glasses checked.
 
I like the fool I am still believe that I’m only the “right woman” away from happiness.
 
Most men are not making love as often as they would like to where as most women are making love more often than they would like to and God just keeps on chucklin’.
 
When you hang out with folks smarter than you good things usually start happening.
 
Who cancelled the coffee break.
 
The way to avoid sexual harassment charges is just don’t do it … Or simply be attractive.
 
The only way to make commercials palatable is by embedding them or do them like they do them on the Super Bowl.
 
The rich are just another minority that is under government protection which leaves the rest of us on our own,
 
Seeing as both the Democrats and the Republicans are afraid of Pharmaceutical, Banks, and Oil Companies maybe we should have another political party like they do in Canada.
 
To me radio is just like a restaurant, you research what kind of food the folks who live in the neighborhood mostly like to eat then you serve that up most of the time.
 
Whatever happened to the person who used to take the minutes at every meeting or are we just not saying anything worth writing down anymore.
 
If you’re good enough at gross billing the expenses just can’t keep up.
 
To become any good at anything you have to spend a lotta time in uncharted waters.
 
Success is just as stressful and life ruining as going through a divorce or losing a loved one.
 
The upside of a project must at least match the downside to make it worth doing.
 
What people think of you will last a hell of a lot longer than you will.

In the good times your friends know who you are but its only during your bad times that you learn who your friends are.

I love the line in the new Dodge commercial that says … Most men’s favorite car until it comes for their daughter.

All the words before the word “but” mean nothing as in, I don’t know anything about programming but…

Successful people are not very normal, they like a lot of entertainers also came from the dark side.

Only by failing a few times did I finally figure out what I should have done in the first place.
 
Who you know is a way overrated, it’s who knows you that really counts.
 
Jack McCoy was the only guy I ever knew who could sell something then go back to the office and invent what he sold.

Well it looks like two old legends Brady and Manning go at it again next weekend but this time they do it by joining the mile high club.

Much more @ GeorgeJohns.com and on Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

HUH! (new for Dec 21/15)

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When Jack McCoy and I were trading a bunch of war stories on the phone recently I told him that I can still recall the very moment my whole life changed.
It happened as I was returning an album to the on air studio at CKY in Winnipeg where I was a board op and overheard our midday host George Dawes saying thanks but no thanks to someone on the phone. After he hung up I asked him what that was all about and when he told me that he had just been offered the Program Director’s job at  CKOM in Saskatoon but wasn’t interested I told him I sure was. He was kind enough to call them back and arrange an interview for me for me and the next thing I knew I was CKOM’s new Program Director which kicked off a hell of a career but I’ve often wondered what would have become of me had I walked into that studio just fifteen seconds later. When I mentioned this to Jim Hilliard years later he just laughed and claimed that I probably would’ve got an even better offer from someone else, I knew you had it the first day I met you squirrel. Huh!
Jack recalled a somewhat similar situation when he was freaking out one day because the business he was involved in was having some catastrophic problems and he wasn’t sure what he was going to do about them. His wife asked him what he was stressing out and worrying so much for … You’ve had big problems in the past she told him and have always managed to solve them so she suggested that he just sit back and relax. Huh!
 

SOME OTHER THOUGHTS TO THINK ABOUT…

Christmas is still the most powerful event on earth even though some folks are trying to make it more politically correct by changing it to just a holiday and saying nonsense like “Best of the Season and Happy Holiday” they still can’t diminish its enormity. MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ME TO YOU AND YOURS!

Whatever you’d pay to watch a political debate or speech is exactly how much they’re worth.
 
Have you ever heard a woman claim that she’d die for her man.
 
Women are who they are not who they married.
 
Is it the stress of a divorce that causes a woman to lose 20 pounds or does she just have a new plan.
 
Why do we feel compelled to tell a beautiful woman what we would like to do to them, I think they already know.
 
Most men treat the women they love much differently than they do the others but tend to treat the others as equals until they’re not.
 
I think it may be easier to quit smoking than leave a beautiful woman.
 
If women are really fashion conscious how come they never ask us what we’re wearing while talking to us on the phone.
 
I do everything my daughters tell me to do until it involves their safety.
 
As ordinary as the Colonel and Brian Epstein appeared to be, Elvis and The Beatles were f**ked without them.
 
Why do the lesser talents have egos bigger than the gifted.
 
Whatever happened to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, they don’t seem to be hangin’ at the White House anymore.
 
The dreams of the future are much more appealing than the reality of the past.
 
Not believing in magic makes it very difficult to explain love.
 
You are not born with good instincts.
 
There is no such thing as business ethics, there is only ethics.
 
The people who appear to be the happiest usually come from the saddest place.
 
I like hard working people but I love the smart working ones.
 
If you don’t have more questions than answers you’re really not living.
 
Originally we were told that consolidation was good because it would save local radio. They wouldn’t lie to us would they.
 
Over the years I’ve donated a lot of my funds to a cause which perhaps you’ve also participated in, it’s called Blondes.
 
Shakespeare used to include instructions to the actors as part of the script. I find myself sorta doing the same thing in my Blogs.
 
If you don’t follow your own dreams you’ll soon find yourself following someone else’s.
 
One of the many great things about America is that you have the tight to choose whom you worship but you do not have the right to choose whom I worship. 
 
Who you really are is the person who does what they do when nobody is watching.
 
You are also whomever the person who signs your checks says you are.
 
Sometimes the squeaky wheel doesn’t get greased it gets replaced.

Boy the Giants sure gave the Panthers a run for it huh!

Is it possible that there may be just too much money between us and a cure for cancer.

Willy Parasuik one of our of our more brilliant escapees and our lone Rhodes Scholar once told me that in order for one to be successful they will need … Tenacity Tolerance and Curiosity.

Everybody’s self motivated you only need to find out what they would really like to do then have the balls to let them do it.

The first clue in finding out whether a guy watches any porn is to check out if he has a computer.

The 4 stages of Christmas.
1.You believe in Santa Clause.
2.You don’t believe in Santa Clause.
3.You are Santa Clause.
4.You look like Santa Clause.

Until I hear “Silent Night” it’s not really Christmas but I wish you all a very merry one anyway.

In a few days I’ll be headed to California to spend Christmas with my daughter Candis which I haven’t done since 1993 and it will my first with my grandson Nathaniel. Color me very excited!

I begin celebrating the 12 days of Christmas on December 25 with my 12 most read Blogs in 2015.

Much more @ GeorgeJohns.com and on twitter @GeoOfTheRadio