Monthly Archives: March 2017

Politically Incorrect Again. (new geo Blog for May 30/17)

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A couple of Sundays ago “Big Bob Thomas” and I put the top down and headed to a funky bar we like on Singer Island called “Two Drunken Goats.” The reason we like this place is because it’s on the beach and usually has live music.
However, a lot of folks must have had the same idea as we did,  ’cause when we got there, the joint was jammed. As luck will have it, two stools at the bar opened up, so we grabbed them and ordered up a couple of Bloody Marys. As we sat there shooting the shit, we soon found out that we were a couple of hours early for the band, so we decided to have one more Mary and move on.
As we were finishing up, I couldn’t help but notice this boisterous black dude wearing a cowboy hat down at the end of the bar who was having a great time. He was laughing and hitting on all the ladies who were nearby and not only was he the only non-white in the whole place he was also the loudest. I couldn’t help but ask Bob how long he thought we’d last if the circumstances were reversed. Bob claimed that my question was politically incorrect so it couldn’t be answered in public.
 
OK LET’S MOVE ON… 
You can only become as successful as you think you can.
 
It is very difficult to make yourself happy but almost impossible for others to do it for you. 
 
I wonder how many people would still want to come to America if they couldn’t get on welfare?
 
It only took us 66 years from our first take off to our first landing on the moon.

In the early 80’s more than half of the people on earth lived in absolute poverty, but now only about 20% do.

Here’s how I think it should work. If women have the ability to do something better then a man they, of course, should be paid more as men should if the reverse were true. If both sexes are equal to the task, then there is no doubt that they should be paid equally.

Criticizing another’s work doesn’t improve yours the slightest.
It is said that one of the most pleasurable things you can ever do is forgive an enemy. I’m not ready for that kind of pleasure yet so I’ll just stick with sex thank you.
 
Even if you’re a self-made man you still owe somebody somewhere something.
 
I don’t think there should be any language disputes. It’s simple, if you’re after someone else’s money then I suggest that you should learn their language.
 
A pessimist immediately recognizes how difficult some opportunities are whereas an optimist realizes that the only reason there is an opportunity is only because it’s difficult.
 
The more money people have, the less likely they are to give any of it away.
 
At what point do you decide if you should try harder or just walk away?
 
Seeing as most of “show business” is about the product I’m confused why radio still thinks that there’s another way?
 
You earn trust, you’re given respect, and loyalty is best demonstrated. However, at the mere hint of betrayal all three are wiped out instantly.
 
Just ’cause you can’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
 
What idiot came up with the plan that a president can only serve two terms where the rest of those clowns can serve forever. Oh yeah, and the word “serve” is also outdated.
 
If what you’re doing doesn’t frighten you you’re not living up to your full potential.
 
Worrying about missed opportunities prevents you from taking advantage of the ones that you didn’t miss.
 
The monopolies are still having a rough time figuring out how to monopolize music.
 
It amazes me how humble and polite most of the truly gifted are.
 
If it doesn’t come with jail time my advice, is just do it!
 
When you’re done changing you’re done.
 
The intent of the law doesn’t mean anything anymore.
 
Absolutely  is deductible until the IRS says it ain’t.
 
No professional athlete is as good as he claims to be.
 
It’s impossible to do a decent Boston accent without swearing.
 

You always lose if you’re accused.

Why is it that the moment an actor achieves any kind of success they immediately become an expert on life in general and especially about politics?

Wow did you see Scott Dixon’s crash in the Indy 500? At 220 mph his car goes airborne, flips over and crashes on top of the retaining wall, rips a hole in the iron fence and explodes as it bounces its way back onto the track. Scott crawls out of it with a bit of a sore ankle. Maybe the NFL should consider racing helmets?

Much more @ GeorgeJohns.com and on Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio. Go ahead and share plus make a comment or two.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

Murphy’s Laws updated! ( new geo Blog for the week of June 26/17)

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THE LAWS:

1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee. 

2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 

3. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 

4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. 

5. Law of Odd Numbers – Numbers 4 and 6 will not abide anything odd between them! 

6. Variation Law -If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). 

7. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 

8. Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. 

9. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. 

10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 

11. Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. 

12. The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 

13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 

14. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. 

15. Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about. 

16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly. 

17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet. 

18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. 

19. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better.. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.

Much more at GeorgeJohns.com and on Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio. I welcome all comments and appreciate you sharing with others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

F*#k Your Code Of Silence! (new geo Blog for week of March 20/17.)

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In a recent Blog, I’d mentioned that our singer from the Jury, Bruce Walker told me that there were over 750 charitable organizations in Canada which I found quite surprising. However, now Syd Hepworth one of my old Transcona National team mates claims that there are actually 175,000 not for profit organizations registered in Canada and that 85,000 of them are dedicated to helping the underprivileged.
OK so let’s do the math! When I was growing up in Canada, we always figured that whatever Canada did the US did it at least ten times bigger and better. So using that formula the most conservative estimate that I could come up with is that there must be at least 850,000 charity organizations in America helping the underprivileged. So once again I have to ask … How the f*ck can there be any poor people in the US and why would they need any government assistance? Ahh but then again maybe a lot of these so-called charitable organizations are just like the folks who claim that they’re chasing the cure for cancer and not the money. Or perhaps maybe they are similar to the Clinton Foundation where they pay young Chelsea $950,000 a year to run it but as soon as the election goes south so does her job and the millions that were in the fund?
Who is responsible for checking on where all these tax-free dollars are going and oh yeah how about those ridiculous expenses the people who are in charge of these organizations run up not to mention the ridiculous compensation packages they have. I guess I just need to know where I can sign up so I can get on that gravy train and stop whining.

JUST A FEW MORE THINGS BEFORE I GO…
Wouldn’t you love to attend a meeting between Trump and HBO’s “Young Pope?”

What you have to understand about Trump is that not only is he not politically correct, he’s not even political.

Speaking of our president, I’m not so much worried about him as I am the about the people who surround him. One of the problems I’ve had over the years with the Republicans is that the same people who advised Nixon made it all the way through both Bushes without ever being elected.What we got from them was our never ending war in the middle east not to forget 911 and all they got from us was filthy rich.

Hey, Mr. Pop Singer your fame just causes us to listen to your songs a little bit closer which may not be a good thing.

Blind faith is just that. BLIND!

Being a romantic as I am is sometimes tough sleddin’

Have you ever met anyone who claims that they’re overpaid, me neither, but I know a bunch?

Even though we’re told that size matters, I’m pretty sure that the ladies prefer the bulge in a man’s jeans to be his fat wallet.

Wouldn’t you love the names and addresses of the people who told George W that there were Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq? This misinformation not only led not only to 911 but also our continuing operation in the middle east and I don’t think these people should be sleeping peacefully!

Speaking of names and addresses, I also need the names and addresses of families who made up the 5% of America who owned slaves because they were too lazy to pick their own damn cotton. We’re gonna have come to Jesus meeting with you because the rest of us are tired of being thrown under the bus just because we’re white so bring your checkbook.

As capable as you may be shouldn’t you pick out the thing that with a little practice you could be the best in the world at. Being the best at anything also pays the best.

The reason men like to tell their life story over and over is because it’s the only story that has him as the hero.

The definition of a “good woman” is one who can listen to all your stories over and over and hang onto each and every word of them like she’s hearing them for the first time.

As truthful a truth may appear it still may not be true.

My dream girl is an intelligent beautiful woman who acts like an ice queen in public and a slut in the bedroom.

Beware of women with cats because it is said that they are all out of love.

Being not afraid to die is not courageous it’s crazy.

One could assume that with the election of Trump a lot of Americans had contempt for all that was politically correct.

When Cami was a little girl, and I asked her whatever happened to baby Cami she said … She went to pictures daddy!

In the mid-2000’s Jane Roe as in Roe v Wade asked the supreme court to overturn her case. The Supremes turned her down.

All the good cops know who the bad cops are just as the Muslims know who the evil Muslims are. F*ck your code of silence you’re on your own. Good luck!

If you don’t set your own goals, you’re forever destined to be working on somebody else’s.

What’s your preference, Bald, Landing Strip, Trimmed, or Full Bush?

The folks know what they like, and they only like what they know.

Much much more @ George Johns.com and on Twitter@GeoOfTheRadio. Feel Free To share and comment.
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“Ignorance Is Bliss” (new geo blog for April 03/17)

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Having a glass of wine or two at Duffy’s Sports Grill the other night and because we’re in the middle of spring training in South Florida, I got to sit next to a major league scout. After chit chatting with him for a while about the coming season I couldn’t resist bragging to him about my grandson Nathaniel.(shown above at bat) Nathaniel I told him loves the game so much that he’s memorized every statistic that he can get his hands not to mention that he’s also a pretty good baseball player. The scout responded by saying that he hoped my grandson was also good at something else because as he said he had a stat that Nathaniel’s not going to like. He went on to claim that less than 1% of the kids playing baseball today will ever be drafted. Now as much as “N” loves stats and I love him, there’s no way that I’m passing that one on.
Thinking about the road ahead for the baseball kids I started wondering what the odds were for a kid who was just starting a rock & roll band would ever get a record deal? Thank god nobody warned me because when I was a kid I just knew that I was either going to be a professional football player (141 lbs) or a “Rock Star.” Hey as they say “ignorance is bliss” so like a fool I quit school because whatever they were trying to teach me it didn’t seem to be helping me achieve my goals.

Years later when my daughter Candis who is a singer-songwriter asked me how a kid from a small town outside of Winnipeg called Transcona could figure out how not only to get a record deal but also release four records and get all of them on the charts? I had to tell her the truth because you dare not lie to your daughter … The truth is honey I only got it done because I was too stupid to know that I couldn’t.

A BUNCH OF OTHER WORDS THAT ALSO DON’T RHYME…
If you keep counting your assets you’ll always be profitable.
 
We have more ways to communicate now than we have things to communicate.
 
I don’t think you can ever un-hear somebody saying something despicable to you nor you saying something equally as nasty to someone else.
 
Almost every day I discover another person I know who is suffering from depression. Now I’m wondering if it’s become the new norm.
 
A teacher is one of the very few people in the world who has the opportunity to assist someone who may discover or invent something that could change the world.
 
They have a name for all the bad things you did as a kid that seem to last forever. Consequences!
 
Does anybody have any idea what the hell they’re saying on the speaker in the drive-through lane at Mickey Dees?
 
Most things that they claim are being done for safety reasons have little to do with safety and a lot to do with incompetence.
 
9 times out of 10 a creative person can whip a gifted person. However, if a gifted person ever learns creativity none of the rest of us stand a chance.
 
Just ’cause your left doesn’t make you right.
 
We only exist because of a few inches of top soil and a little rain.
 
Have you as I have ever wondered who “they” are?
 
When the president refers to all the hard working Americans he’s not talking about government employees right?
 
If you plan on playing any music on AM radio it better be very unique.
 
I only tease the people I like.
 
Rev up parties do little where as rating parties change people’s lives.
 
A good product produces more revenue than selling does.
 
The day Ron Chapman told me that he wanted to be big enough to have difficulty walking down a Dallas street I ordered a new ‘Vette because I knew that we were already half way there.
 
Most folks only change when something very emotional happens to them.
 
The only place on earth where the government pays for health care, education, clothing, housing, and utilities is a place called prison.
 

The moment Walt Disney found someone who could draw Mickey better than him he fired himself.

I remember living in Indianapolis when we were all excited because they were predicting that an Indy car was going to do 200 mph on the track that year. Now, my buddy, Bob Christy sells Dodge’s right off the showroom floor that will hit 206.

Mr. Fairbanks once told me that what America needed most was stronger rats.

Using a poem, a song, a movie, a play, a dance, a painting, a sculpture or a photograph to communicate your point of view may do wonders but a kiss does it better.

Much more @ GeorgeJohns.com and on Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio. Would love to read and respond to your comments and appreciate you sharing my musings with others.

 

 

 

SEX & RADIO! (An upcoming New Blog)

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SOMEMORE SEX & RADIO STUFF…
You can always buy great sex, but unfortunately, you can’t buy great conversation.
 
I understand that women always talk about sex until the men show up.

My Blog is intended mostly for men, but ladies are always welcome. However, I do recommend buckling up.

There comes a time in your life when the only women you want to impress are your daughters. Obvisouly I’m not there yet.

Women are a lot easier to deal with when you don’t desire them.

Men don’t realize that once they commit to a woman they’ve committed to her whole family.

It’s never too late to reinvent yourself and become whomever you’ve always wanted to be.
 
The only time you understand a parent’s love is when you become one.
 
The age old question has always been, “Is it the singer or the song?” Although the fact that songwriters always get paid maybe a major clue.
 
It’s true that people only listen to the radio they don’t watch it, but if you don’t get them to look at it occasionally you ain’t gonna make dick!
 
The only break that means anything to the folks listening to the radio is the one you’re about to do.
 
I’ve always been a student of radio but it ain’t been teaching me much lately.
 
If you do your radio show exclusively for the people, who don’t know who you are it won’t be long till they do.
 
Muses and demons both whisper in the ears of the gifted, but unfortunately, they use the same voice.
 
To become a “has been” it’s a requirement that you be somebody first.
 
Much more at GeorgeJohns.com and on Twitter @GeoOnTheRadio. Comments and sharing much appreciated.