What A F**king Day!!

So there I was on Saturday afternoon boarding the Tri-Rail in Hollywood for the pleasant one hour ride back to West Palm Beach … I arrived 7 hours later! I love riding the train in Florida if for no other reason then to just gaze out the window and marvel at all the beautiful scenery going by. I also like to give thanks I no longer live in Winnipeg at this time of of the year. I was kinda sitting there daydreaming when all of a sudden I heard what sounded like a big explosion from up front as the train suddenly lurched violently which threw me out of my seat into the aisle. I smelled smoke and could hear loud banging and even louder screeching noises as the train started to bounce up and down like it was trying to come off the track. I managed to pick myself up just before being trampled on by the people who were running from their car up front into ours. I decided I better join them even though I had no idea what the hell was happening.

The train finally slowed and came to a complete stop with loud sirens and alarms all going off together. It turned out we had hit a Range Rover at full speed. I can only assume the driver was trying to beat the train across the tracks and failed fatally. We hit the SUV so hard it managed to weld itself to the front of the train so we dragged it for the nearly half mile it took the train to finally stop.(you can see it a little hanging from the front of the train in the picture) People had been freaking out because of all the noise and confusion and some had even kicked out the emergency windows to jump through.   Now what happens I ask myself. Nothing, was the answer. No announcements, no communication of any kind. No nothing! We just sat there while the Tri-Rail staff and the police did their investigation. Finally three and a half hours later they pried the SUV off the front of the train and we slowly backed up to our last stop which was Deerfield Beach. They loaded us on buses and took us to the Boca Raton station which was one stop north of the accident. We all assumed they were going to send a train from West Palm Beach to get us. Nope! Once again we just sat there waiting for over two hours with absolutely no communication from anybody. At long last a train from Miami finally showed up because they had opened up the tracks again so we finally got to continue on our journey. It was like Tri-Rail never noticed us the whole time, they were too busy talking on cell phones and covering their asses and making sure every little detail was written down showing it was in no way their fault so they couldn’t be sued. They could have cared less about us as they were already into overtime pay. We had to sit on the train for hours because the police told us it was against the law to walk alongside the tracks. What a f**king day!

A few days ago I mentioned the bad news that the hunny bunny was long gone but the good news is I’ve already had three ladies offer to replace her.

Is there ever any better lovemaking than the love you make after a big fight. I’m pretty sure Georgina knows all about this and what she knows of it I’m willing to bet would put “50 Shades Of Grey” to shame.

It’s a hell of a lot easier to figure out what you did wrong rather than what you did right.

Tom Skinner asks … How come when you’re having a hot affair with a beautiful Woman which of course involves wonderful naughty things, all talk about the fun intimate details suddenly disappear from her vocabulary not to mention her memory when you make her your Wife. Tommy you sound like you know of what you speak. (-:

I think the folks in California are in for a rude awakening because of consolidation. The kind of money the folks who live there make a lot more money than people doing similar jobs all over America which of course leads to higher prices for homes and lots of other things priced on ability to pay. The reason may be as Jerry of Jeff ‘n Jer explained to me when I complimented him a few years ago about their outstanding new contract in San Diego … It’s chump change compared to what the Hollywood crowd makes. Hey maybe that’s how it worked in California just maybe Hollywood pay was the standard. Hell even Little Tommy their producer made more money than any jock in Miami. Those Radio days are of course are now over in California because of consolidation. I predict it will be coming soon to other industries as well because no New York based company is ever going to pay an employee in California more than they pay one in New York or elsewhere. Oh Oh! Look out housing prices.

I had mentioned sometime ago that spell check got me to start writing. Now if they ever get punctuation check I will be after Hemingway’s ass.(-:

Tom Hoyt claims though that I need to first edit like “Papa”  Tom, I’m thinking it’s easier to learn how to drink like he did then we can pretend. But lets leave the guns at home!

I was always in trouble in my early years because I never knew my place. Later on though it became the asset that helped me become fairly successful.

Linda Stein says we all spend a way too much time in our past and our fearful future and because of that we miss opportunities in the present moment!

Has anybody else noticed 3-D TV didn’t make it.

Just saw a great line on a t-shirt “Don’t Bro Me If You Don’t Know Me”

 

 

 

 

The Hunny Bunny Is Long Gone !

The best sales marketing plan I ever saw was done in San Antonio Texas on KLLS (Class FM). KLLS was the first Class FM Radio Station in North America and we used the name Class because it was the word I thought best describe the great sound of KVIL in Dallas. Class FM was very similar to KVIL and was sorta the Daughter of Kay Ville. The GM Jack Collins produced a special map of the city on which he had drawn a single line across the middle to separate the north from the south. On the upper half of the map were the words “Class FM Is Number One Here” We became the #1 biller long before we were ever #1.

Did Lance Armstrong use the same writers as Tiger Woods for his apology and I wonder who the person was that told them both they needn’t bother with sincerity.

How would we amuse ourselves if celebrities or near celebrities didn’t screw up.

There is always a ton of money available to pay famous people.

It was a sweet run but the Hunny Bunny is gone so it’s time to hunt for a new wild animal.

Blogger John Cole wrote … The glasses in my hotel room are so small I’m drinking Vodka Tonics out of the coffee pot. Indiana f**king blows!

Have you ever noticed when the Woman you’re involved with becomes the love of your life unusual love making in unusual locations begin to disappear. Right Tom!

It isn’t who I love that makes me generous it’s who loves me. If you can fake that you’ve got it made but I’d still suggest moving to Hollywood, it pays much more than I ever will.

The real truth is probably much easier for me to handle than what ever it is I’m going to imagine it to be.

Exclusivity is a necessity with me!

A Woman’s love for me is what obligates me to her not mine for her. That, I can walk away from!

While thinking big one should not forget to enjoy all the small pleasures in life.

Does anyone have a top 10 list of all the good things consolidation brought to the table. No! Ok, how about one thing then … I’m waiting!

Good GMs are good at firing people up but great GMs are great at starting a fire inside of people.

I wonder how pumped Nashville is about New York going Country. Look at them boots!

Your brain has only so much room for memories so in order for you to have a new one something must go. If you could choose, what memory would you let go of.

If I were the 49ers I would run right at Ray Lewis in the Super Bowl. Nobody retires from football before their time in fact they usually wait one year too long.

Doug Herman reminded me that George Carlin once said … Somewhere in the world is the world’s worst Doctor and he has patients.

Until we here the words cheaper gas prices I don’t think we should let the oil companies drill where they want to. North America already has enough oil.

What caused someone to become “Born Again” is what I want to hear about, especially from the ladies.

For the longest time I could never understand why women would hit on me when I was already with a beautiful a Woman. When I’m alone of course they mostly ignore me.  Finally one of them explained it. She said they knew I would never leave my beautiful date for someone else so that meant they could practice their flirting skills without worrying about consequences.

My own needs unfortunately sometimes interfere with my attending to the needs of others.

Even though their is nothing physical about the passage of time it still manages to change things. I don’t love my Father any less than I did at his passing but the mere passage of time has made it much easier for me to deal with and it gets easier each passing day.

Have you ever noticed when somebody laughs it is hard to resist laughing along even if you don’t know what they are laughing about.

Folks often ask me when I started writing. The answer is simple, it was the moment I discovered spell check on my computer .

When Doc Rivers of the Celtics was asked what he said different to the players after going from last place to winning the NBA Championship the next year he replied … I didn’t say anything different I just got better players. It’s that time again Doc!

 


 

EIGHT YEARS AGO TODAY!

Shown here warming up is my Grandson Nathaniel. “N” lives in California with his Mom and Dad who are raising him for me. He’s watching the Falcons and 9ers but also texting me exactly what San Francisco needs to do as he gets ready to go in and do it all himself. Color me a proud Buppa! I’ll never forget eight years ago on the eve of his birth getting a call from his Mother while hanging out and watching a little TV in my Hotel room in Burbank as I got ready for the big event the next day.         Candis had called to find out if I wanted to have dinner with her at our favorite restaurant which was located right next door to the Hotel. The reason we liked this place I think was because they served Scottish style bread pudding like my Mom and G’ma used to make. Having dinner with my Daughter has always been special but having it the night before she was giving birth to her Son made the evening that much more special.                             Candis had been lugging Nathaniel around in her tummy long enough so the Doctor decided tomorrow was the day they drag him out whether he wanted out or not. While dinning she asked me if I would take her back to work later that evening because she had a couple of things still left to do. Her Both her Husband Charlie and her Mother thought she shouldn’t go in because she needed to rest up for the next day. Seeing as Candis has never heard the no word from me I didn’t think that moment would be the appropriate time for me to start changing my ways so of course I greed to take her.                                   Candis was the Licensing Director of WEA, a large record company in Los Angeles which is where we headed to right after dinner. She went right into her office upon our arrival to finish up whatever it was that couldn’t wait leaving me to wander around gazing in awe at all the gold records and giant posters  that were hanging on the walls. I remembered thinking that it sure doesn’t get much better than this for an aging rocker like myself who is about to become a Grandpa eh? A little while later Candis came out of her office saying she was almost ready to go but first she had something special to give me. With that she handed me a brand new box set of CD’s entitled “British Bands & Beyond” What made this box set so special she claimed was it included a cut from my old band The Jury. Wow! As she handed me the box set I noticed she had tears in her eyes but with huge smile on her face  said … Dad when Nathaniel learns his Grandpa once was a Rock ‘N Roll star he’s going to be so proud!

My Father didn’t tell me what kind of a Man he was he showed me. I pale in comparison.

I think the reason there were a 195,000 deaths from malpractice last year is really quite simple … Most Doctors didn’t graduate anywhere near the top of their class.

Have you ever noticed when you call out anybody but politicians for being stupid or crooked they can’t resist fighting back. I guess the politicians must agree with our opinion of them.

Dave Fulton’s film/documentary “Naptown Rock Radio Wars” is now a book plus his 3rd re edit of the film is headed for the film festivals. Dave claims when they do the screenplay which will turn the documentary into a full blown movie, he is casting George Clooney to play me. Hey Now!

Do you trust a bunch of rich guys (Congress) to fairly decide what the rich should pay in taxes.

Surprise surprise! It turns out, we the middle class must have been the rich folks Obama was talking about all along as we got a peek at our first paycheck stub in 2013. I wonder how many of the people who voted for him because they liked his plan to fix the economy would have bought in had they known that this was the real plan. I hate liars!

As much as I loved the Reagan era I hated the part where they turned the nut cases loose from the institutions plus making it almost impossible to institutionalize any of the really sick ones who are wandering around out here today. These creeps have nothing better to do than come up with their own terrifying plan on how to become famous as the most evil person who ever lived. They can plan this without fear because of all the human rights issues that protect them.(most of their shrinks know what they are planning) That, I think is the problem not guns!

You are only real good at what you like to do, more money will never change that.

I wish the geeks would suspend working on new technology until they get what we presently have to work as good as cars.

After seeing the movie “D’Jango Unchained” I wonder if all plantation owners were as despicable as the ones depicted in the movie. The thing I do know though is less than 5% of Americans owned any slaves and I don’t think many of the folks who immigrated to the US as I did owned any slaves nor did our ancestors. I for one have no interest in paying for the sins of others.

He who can control the language will control the money. It’s Google it not Bing it or Yahoo it!

I think the Radio Stations who have people that actually listening to them should get more money per spot than stations who just have so called listeners who only hear them.

Women will give up “eye candy” in a heart beat for intellect. Men aren’t so smart.

You can only do it if you can dream it but the dreaming part is the hard part.

Isn’t asking an oil executive what kinds of energy sources he sees in our future and which ones he thinks we should invest in, kinda like asking a Radio sales person what kind of media should we advertise on.

The only place we have any rights is out on the street. If you are in a building right now you have a lotta rules about what you can’t do but very few rights about what you can do.

I know very few Men who brag about how good the Women they love are in the sack, in fact it’s quite the opposite.

The extent of your success is based on how much more you accomplish after doing what you were assigned and expected to do.

The weaker your signal the stronger and/or more unique your programming must be.

Is Obama Racist?

When the Beatles invaded North America in ’64 The Jury who were in our early 20’s were already one of the older Winnipeg bands. Simply by changing singers we managed to go from the Elvis era with Donny Burns to the British era with Bruce Walker. After making that move we were soon cutting our own records instead of just listening to them.                                  By being one of the older groups we kinda lucked out because we just missed the drug era which wasn’t so true of some of the younger groups. Our drug of choice at the time was booze which may have caused us to misbehave a little ( a lot) but we’re all still alive.  I only mention this now because I belong to a Facebook group called Manitoba Music Museum. This is a very cool site for me because it displays pictures and stories of all the old groups I used to play with back in the day. Unfortunately as I read it now I’m now starting to notice a lot of the younger than us groups are already missing a couple of members. The Jury miraculously are all still alive and probably still drinkin’ (the stories and incidents about how we managed to survive all that come shortly after the passing of my children.) I of course being much wiser now have switched from the hard stuff like CC, to a nice “Red” that gives good nose.

With the economy sucking and unemployment as high as it is not many people are stupid enough to ask for a raise. Most of them are just happy enough having a job but in spite of this Obama gives all federal employees a raise. Are you kidding me, these are the same people who actually enjoy telling you no when you need their help. They also have the worst attitudes along with the best benefits you have ever seen. I think they would all starve to death if they had to live off of tips. It’s kinda the same way the Government in Canada figures out how to take care of the French folks with similar attitudes.

There is no such thing as a quiet drunk.

Falling in love is the best and worse thing that will ever happen to you.

There are a couple of different types of people in the world … People who make promises and those who keep them.

The thing of it is I think I actually prefer being the “other guy” When I’m ” the guy” I waste too much time and jealous emotion wondering if there is another guy. I don’t share! When I’m the “other guy” I know who “the guy” is and I don’t mind at all sharing his girl. I know I know, make an appointment with a shrink!

Love doesn’t have to be perfect it just needs to be true.

It’s what you don’t do on your Radio Station that makes it sound good.

The only thing you can count on when things get really bad is they probably could get a lot worse

Is a Zebra black with white stripes or white with black stripes? They of course are black.

I never realized before that most of the Cubans who live in America dislike the Cubans who live in Cuba.

Tim Moore reminded me that former coach of the Buffalo Bills Marv Levy once said, the reason Hitler lost the war was because he couldn’t win on the road. I love football analogies!

Thomas Jefferson said  … Peace Is That Glorious Moment When Everybody Is Standing Around Reloading!

I think all Lawyers should be investigated, but seeing as most politicians are Lawyers … Ain’t gonna happen!

I’ve been a Grandfather for 8 years now and I think both my Daughters are wondering when I’m going to start acting like it.

Many years ago my Lawyer said to me … George can’t you just fool around, do you have any idea what this is going to cost you.

So nobody goes into the Baseball Hall Of Fame this year. I guess it is true you have to be a great player and also a good human being. Seems nobody qualified!

I think real Radio should do the same as Satellite Radio and count how many receivers we have out there as part of our sell. Hell there has got to be 3 or 4 per household which kills Sirius and puts their game into perspective.

In a recent Blog I mentioned that Women fantasize about Men they don’t know. Several Women e mailed me that I was wrong because they claim to fantasize about me all the time. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with that information but I’m sure thinking about it!

I know very few Men who are looking for Wives but I sure know a lotta Women who seem to be looking for Husbands.

I think one of the scariest things that could ever be said to you with a loud voice which always congers up a few things the speaker may be talking about is … I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!

When in doubt about whether a legendary story is true or not, always go with “The Legend”

Is there ever not a mattress sale going on?


I Should Have Never Tried Sex!

I recently posted an e mail from Rick Hallson an old friend from Canada. Rick and I go back to when we were both starting out in Radio as board ops at CKY in Winnipeg.  Several people thought the e mail was from me, rather than to me. Rick, I’m very sad to report is dying of lung cancer and was reaching out in hopes of convincing other Radio people to quit smoking immediately. As far as I know I’m fine but thank you for all your best wishes. My Blog has a few more people it needs to spank before I can exit the planet.

I gave HB a “B” for her participation in my Holiday Season this year.

Have you ever noticed that the road to success is filled with detours and is always under construction.

Lots of people have the power to say no but very few have the power to say yes.

The phoniest question in the world may be “How Are You” I remember when record guys would get me on the phone and the first thing they would say was … Hey how are ya George? Hey listen I’ve got this great new group and I was wondering if you’ve had a chance to listen to the single yet. I would respond with … Ok I’m ready to answer your first question now. They would pause and say what question was that Man? You asked me how I was and I’m ready to respond now. I’m actually feeling pretty good today but a couple of days ago I didn’t know if I was just hung over or maybe I was coming down with something but I’m fine now, thanks for asking. I think I may have scared them a little but it sure made the conversations much shorter.

Someone once told me Cocaine was better than sex so I didn’t dare try it. I should have never tried sex!

Spent some time the other day on the phone with my friend Radio HOF x 2 Ron Chapman (pictured above) who is in the hospital recovering from a mild stroke he suffered just before Christmas. He was very lucky his wife Nance was around when it happened, she dialed 911 immediately which got him to the hospital before much damage could be done. All I know for sure was he was matching me line for line on the phone, but then again he used to whip me so he may have lost a step for the moment, but rehab I’m betting will bring him back as strong as ever. As usual Ron controlled the press on this and the word about his stroke only got out when he decided it would. Back in the day few people realized when the ratings came out in Dallas the Newspapers would call Ron to find out what they were. What you read in the Newspaper was Ron’s interpretation of the ratings.

Homer Simpson was overheard saying if Jesus had a gun he’d be alive today.

I always thought the way it worked was, the fewer people there were who could complete any certain task the more it should pay. Consequently the more people who can complete a task, the less it should pay. With that in mind I could never figure out why the Auto Industry in Detroit paid such huge money to people who were doing tasks I think my 8 year old Grandson Nathaniel could do.

I just love the quote … The last thing I wanna do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list!

We are what we remember.

The only weather casts I like on the Radio outside of Hurricane season are the ones that answer the question … What’s it like outside?

Few people realize that most actors can sing and thats probably how it all got started.

I know guys get into Bands and Radio to get Women. I wonder why Women do it?

Being a dual citizen of both the US and Canada for sometime now it’s taken me this long to figure out that if both countries each spoke a different language they would better understand each other.

Unlike our politicians who are far left or far right, I believe most Americans only lean a little to the left or a little to the right.

Radio Ratings consist mostly of the listening habits of passive people but it is programmed and sold by assertive people. I wonder how that’s working.

The main job of a Program Director of a Radio Station is to continue to make the Station sound better even if it has a 100 share.

Have you ever noticed that Contemporary Christian Music seems to consist of white love songs.

Radio all becomes so much bigger when not only do you have good ratings but you can ring that cash register bell too.

Most clients want Radio to send people to their store and I’ve always been pretty good at figuring out how to do that. One time though I remember getting a call from a Jewelry store owner angrily demanding to know what the hell was he supposed to do with all these people who were filling up his store.

Dick Yancey who was in charge of sales when we both worked together at Fairbanks once went into Mr. Fairbanks office and said, I have figured out how to double the billing for the company. Mr. Fairbanks responded with … Why would I want to do that? Dick said that was the only part he didn’t think through because he thought Mr. Fairbanks had that part!

Radio has always worked like a drug for a lot of people giving them some relief for a few moments from a stress filled day.

I truly believe through repetition you can re-invent yourself. Shotgun Tom Kelly actually became the character he plays on the Radio. The result of which is he is going to have his own star on the Hollywood walk of fame. Good for you Shotz!

If you are gifted you have to figure out how to mix a little science into your act or you’ll die penniless like Mozart.

Fame can be turned into cash. Case in point is Walt Disney who had to sell most of his stock in Disney in order to build Disneyland so instead of attending board of directors meeting he formed another company to provide creativity to Disney. More importantly he also leased them his name. When the board was shocked at the price Walt wanted he responded with … You’re right lets call it Smith Land, much cheaper.

If you want to get noticed at a Radio Station get in the blame line it’s much shorter.

It usually takes an emotional experience for someone to change.

Speaking of change I think I would love to read the early Bio’s of some “Born Agains” pretty exciting and the stuff movies are made of I figure.