Monthly Archives: July 2014

The 5 Swordsmen.

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I have worked with a lot of great radio guys who not only did well on the air but they also did very well with the ladies. I’m still in awe of them all so I now give you my top 5 radio swordsman of all time.

#5 Orly Knutson – Orly and I worked together for quite a few years back in Indy at WIBC where it’s rumored that he had sampled more than a couple of the ladies who worked in our building. Some folks even say that he was very close to a lot of his female fans and listeners. Orly recently told me that when he once asked me what I thought he should do to get his ratings up he claimed I had said … Orly just stick your dick in the mic! Surely that can’t be true.

#4 Russ Morley – Russ was our PD/Midday Man at WRMF in beautiful Palm Beach where I don’t think I can remember ever seeing Russ without a fine looking lady on his arm. Once in a while he was even kind enough to save one for me although I must admit that there were a couple of them whom I would have been much better off not meeting, but that’s another story best told over adult beverages.

#3 Bob Christy – I’ve worked with Bobby on several occasions all over America and really enjoyed cruising the bars with him until the ladies would come up and just push me out of the way so they could chat him up. Bob’s idea of marketing was to just to sit at a bar and wait for a woman to hit on him. One of these lovelies was named Beatrice from Venezuela. Beatrice was the one who clearly explained to me exactly how the game of love worked which is also better retold over adult beverages. Eventually though even the best swordsman are eventually brought down and it was the beautiful Janny Cakes who eventually did Bob in and now he is sadly a mere shadow of his former self.

#2 John R Edwards – I call J R the reluctant swordsman because he didn’t appear to want any of it but he sure took all of it.
J R did some fill in work for us in West Palm Beach while he was in between Major Market gigs and occasionally we would hang out at night at “Fridays” where he liked to play video games. He would sit there all scrunched over with his cap pulled down so far you could hardly see his face but even then women would say to me … he’s gay right. When I would tell them no they would grab him by the scruff of the neck and drag him out to their cars. I’ll never forget the time I flew in a highly energized female jock from New York named Linda to meet with me and J R to see if they had some chemistry going and if so maybe I would put them together as a morning team. Linda and I were waiting at the bar for JR and when I finally spotted him walking in she said … God I hope that’s him, ’cause I want to f**k him right now!

#1 Mark Parr – I’ve saved the best for last. I worked with Mark when I was but a pup back in Winnipeg and he got me my first job in radio so I owe him but I don’t owe him this because he was and maybe still is the greatest radio swordsman of all time. Mark in those days for what ever reason didn’t have a car so I would gladly drive him home which would always take a few hours because he would spot a pretty thing at a bus stop and in a panic would ask me to stop the car. He would go over and chat with her then they would both climb into the car and Mark would have me drive them to an apartment complex where Mark had a deal with the doorman. He would then ask me to wait while the two of them would disappear into the building for about 30 minutes then we would take her back to the same bus stop we picked her up at. We weren’t done yet because we would make at least two more stops where Mark would say, hey I know a nice lady here lets pop in for coffee. I never got any coffee because the two of them would soon disappear and we a short time later would be off to our next stop. I understand that Mark’s wife was very suspicious of him so as soon as I dropped him off she demanded that he make love to to her which he was always able to do.

I have a few honorable mentions like Gary Russell, Robert Murphy, Duke Roberts, Daryl “B”, Donny Burns, Jeff & Jer, Dandy Don Wright, Bill Gardner and Bobby Cole who were very close to making the list. I’m also pretty sure that you know lot of guys out there who are great swordsmen and I await your nominations but until then I’m nominating these 5 for the Coxsman Hall Of Fame and I salute them.

 

 
 

THE GYPSY!

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397866_10151878371839307_282254870_nI had always thought it was a combination of my folks chasing their dreams and me using radio to pursue mine that was responsible for me having lived in a lot of places during my life. I was born in Winnipeg but headed to Australia with my Mom and Dad. (pictured going through the Panama Canal) After a couple of years there we moved back to Canada and Vancouver then on to the prairies to live in Bowsman and Swan River. Next we were off to North Kildonan and finally to Transcona.
Now it was time for me to begin my own journey and the first place I moved to was Elmwood then right back to Transcona where I bought my first home. Now it was off to places like Saskatoon, Sudbury, Ottawa, Mississauga, Gilford. Toronto, Indianapolis, Coronado, Austin, La Jolla, Boston, Ft. Lauderdale, Pompano, and finally West Palm Beach where I have spent the last 18 years keeping an eye on my Daughter Cami.
I never thought much about all the moving around I did because at the time it just seemed necessary. But Bill Gardner’s father in law knew exactly why I moved around and according to him it was in my blood. Bill was miffed at me one time because I had not returned his call after he had called me from his in laws in Hawaii and left a message. I assured him that I had called him back and left a message with the dude who answered the phone. Bill said that would have been his Father in law who was usually pretty good with the message thing, so he was going to check my story OUT with him. A couple of hours later Bill called back laughing, he said when he asked his father in law if he remembered a George Johns calling a week or so ago his Father in law said absolutely! Bill now being a little confused queried him about why he never passed the message on. He said was pretty sure didn’t want to talk to any undesirables like me and when Bill asked why he thought I was a bad person he claimed I had to be because my name was Johns and everybody knows Johns is the name most used by Gypsy’s, so I threw the message away because I knew you had no time for no damn Gypsy.

If the little voice inside your head tells you that you can’t do something do it anyway if for no other reason than to silence the voice.
 
You only learn something when you’re not talking.
 
I have treated most of the women in my life much better than they have treated me. Well that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.
 
There is a big difference between “Bad Girls” and “Naughty Girls” but finding out can be very painful.

Do “Bad Girls” know they’re bad.

You become more like your friends you hang out with than they become like you.

I’m very attracted to broken women but they don’t handle me very well nor do I them.
 
Do you believe in magic if not please explain love to me one more time.
 
The only successful on air promotions are sales promotions that sound like programming promotions.
 
Working your way through problems is like lifting weights it makes your brain strong.
 
Struggle even comes before success in the dictionary.
 
It is said that the most financially successful people do a lot more listening than talking which completely explains my bank account.
 
Action ends all doubt.
 
A lot of people who don’t say anything have a lot to say. 
 
It takes a lot of courage to pursue your dreams. 
 
Women only know how to handle men who love or lust after them, they’re pretty dumb about the rest.
 
I know of very few sales departments that ever led a radio station into battle.
 
Was John the only one who thought Yoko could sing. Ain’t love grand!
 

Men don’t wear their heart on their sleeve they wear it on their wallet because a man’s heart is where he spends his money.

The sexiest part of a woman’s body is her face.

My nominations for the top 5 greatest Radio Swordsmen of all time appear in next weeks Blog.

 

 

 

I’m The F**king Boss, That’s Why!

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10418402_10152888390629307_5592530398794558175_nWhile dining at the Ritz in Aspen with Jim and Barbara Hilliard one evening, I noticed that our server not only had a strange sounding British accent but also possessed a little bit of an attitude. When I asked him whether he recommended the chicken or the fish special he sarcastically told me that only the Colonel served good chicken. Later when I enquired where he might hail from, he proudly said Wales so I told him that I had a Welsh name and he asked through gritted teeth … And just what Welsh name would that be sir!
When I told him that my name was Johns a huge smile lit up his face and he said, Ahhh Son of King John and I’m just gonna go with that and not bother doing anymore research on the subject.

 
Just because you agree with something doesn’t make it true.
Is leaving out the truth considered a lie?
 
Habits are still your choices.
 
Most of what you read or hear is mostly just someones opinion.
 
It’s a hell of a lot easier to find someone to share your successes than your failures.
 
Resisting temptation is a full time job.
 
Seeing as I have never had much interest in becoming the support system for a shoe shopper I have tried to raise my daughters in a fashion that would lead to them having the ability to buy their own shoes.
 
Thinking back on Fathers Day and thinking about how expensive kids are to raise made me realize that the cost had more to do with how I wanted to raise them and very little to do with them.
 
Staying on the Fathers Day theme and thinking about all the loving tributes I read on Facebook to Dads who have passed on. Reading all that great stuff got me wondering about how many of them heard any of that when they were alive and struggling to put food on the table and a roof over our head when they needed it most. Color me guilty!
 
Speaking of Fathers, when I was growing up mine used to forbid me to do certain things and the only explanation he most times would offer up was because I said so, which drove me crazy. So because of my frustration with his answer when I was raising my children I always tried to give them a valid reason why no was no. When my Son Curtis began having some difficulties in school we took him to see a Psychologist to see if we could get to the root of the problem. She explained to us that a lot of the difficulties he was having in class was because of me. In the real world she claimed there are not a lot of explanations there’s just a lot of … Because I’m The Boss That’s Why!
 
One of the great things about my Father was when I was starting my bands and it was too cold to practice in the garage he let us practice downstairs our basement. As time went by the amps got bigger and bigger but my Dad never complained about the noise. It took me years to realize that he preferred the noise more than wondering about where I may be.
 
Most people don’t realize they may only one more move away from changing their whole life.
 
Do we really first have to go through a Woman then a Gay President before we just get to elect the best person for the job!
 
One of the worse things that can happen is your realization that you set your goal too low. 
 
Isn’t it amazing how quickly new money starts acting like old money.
 
Have you ever noticed that well endowed women always wear clothing that makes sure we don’t miss that fact.
If you don’t like what you see in the mirror you have two choices, change the mirror or yourself.
 
According to Playboy Magazine “furry” is making a comeback.
 
Women never make any sense until you love them which is why I’ve always understood my Daughters.
 
The more often you lose the more often you get to figure out how to win.
 
The only good thing about not working on your dream is, you can always get a parttime job working on somebody else’s.
 
Life is about results not effort.
 
It is very difficult to stay yourself as people try to remake you.

Creative people are more successful than gifted folks.