Monopolies Are Un-American!

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There is no way CC can have the only traffic reporting system in the land isn’t that Un-American. Didn’t we all learn a long time ago that Monopolies are bad for America. Hey If I have to start a new one myself I will and better yet I know a guy who can get it done.

So here’s the dilemma as I see it. PPM incorrectly measures mornings and gives what’s left over from what used to be huge numbers to radio stations who just roll the tunes. What do you do, what do you do. The way it works of course is the agencies only buy cost per point and they just love how cheap they are getting mornings for now. So Bean counters are saying … Hey we don’t need those expensive Prima Donnas anymore how exciting. But the thought I have is in this New Media World it will soon be impossible to survive with out some kind of direct sales but direct clients only buy the action. They don’t care much about ratings. I don’t think It is going to be Yin or Yang it’s going to be Yin and Yang. The only way though to get Direct money is you have to have a name talent telling the folks where they should shop or direct Sales doesn’t work and you soon will be at the mercy of the agencies who can hardly wait to have a field day with you about the rates. Good Luck with Yin!

Speaking of direct you really don’t need ratings you just need 200 loyal people listening to your station who do what ever the talent tells them to do. I mean what local business could ever handle anymore people than that anyway.

Are research companies taking into account that at least 70% of Americans are some form of passive and I doubt would attend a focus group but would wear a PPM device. I often wonder if the folks who do attend focus groups are in there designing a brand new Edsel for radio.

One of the neat things about America is if you want to get rich there really is no one who can prevent that but yourself. The other neat thing is they let you keep most of it.

Speaking of getting rich I remember that being a tougher thing to do in Canada. The reason for that which I painfully found out was because they didn’t let you keep much of what you earned. I’m sure because I’m no longer there it’s much different just like the Winters in Transcona warmed up shortly after I left. At least thats what they try to tell me.

Doug Erickson says you need 4 things to go viral. Authenticity, Surprise, Emotion and Story Telling.

There are only two things a woman will get up for in the middle of the night for … Her sick child or a Royal Wedding.

When Leonard Bernstein was asked about Rock&Roll he said 95% of it is trash but the other 5 % is simply irresistible.

I’ve always believed and agreed with the quote … “Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man how to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime” But as good as that is I feel it left out a very important part so I added it. Teach a man the philosophy of fishing and he will soon open a chain of seafood restaurants.

Speaking of restaurants, radio is like a restaurant, certain kinds of foods (tunes) just cant be served up there no matter how popular they are.

Paul Barsky told me he liked working in Houston more than Dallas because Dallas had too many 35 Thousand Dollar Millionaires for him.

Artistic people when left to wonder always wonder the worst.

One of the things over the years I became fairly proficient at was how to turn a sales promotion into a programming promotion and a programming promotion into a sales promotion.

Watching the pro athletes play makes me think that the weight of all that money they are making must be whats slowing them down because they sure aren’t as fast or as intense as they were in College.

I was at my favorite sports bar last night, Duffy’s watching the Heat on the big screen and the Red Sox on another screen with the Yankees playing on the flat screen above. It dawned on me that all America really wants is for The Yankees and the Red Sox to play on the same flat screen every game. The hell with the rest of the teams.

Roy Laughlin told me he can sell anything if programming will promote it.

Bob Schuman pointed out to me that he noticed when Kate got out of the car on her Wedding Day the proof that it must have been a little chilly in old London town. Nice!

I think if Mr. Business Man wants to do anything that doesn’t help America should be illegal and if in fact it hurts America, should be prosecuted.

I love Capitalism and hate Speculism.

Deaf People Listen To The Radio Too.

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As I write this I am sitting with Bobby Cole at a bar sipping a very nice red at Francis Ford Coppola’s winery in Northern California. The lovely Casey is behind the bar over serving me and even claiming she has to have me and she has to have me soon. I really had no choice because as beautiful as she was I had to give her what she liked and I gave it to her real good just like I knew she wanted it in the form of a very nice tip.

Log this under perfect timing. The new ARB monthlies just came out today in San Francisco and Gordon Zlot’s 3 stations in Santa Rosa, 60 miles North of San Fran beat his competitor’s 5 stations 1.8 to 0.6. Happy 40th anniversary Gordon and what a 40th party it was. With some careful maneuvering of the place cards on my part it turned out that I was lucky enough to sit between the 2 most beautiful woman in the room.

Lew Dickey surprised me somewhat when he told me that he had done some work at WRMF in the mid 80’s and was a very big fan of the station.

93% of Americans listen to Radio but 11% of the folks are hearing impaired. Hmmmm so lets do the math here. That has to mean deaf people are listening to the radio too. Hey turn it up everybody, we are on to something.

If you don’t have a Facebook account you are officially part of the minority because Facebook now reaches 51% of the American population.

My brother Reg showed me a growth chart that shows Smart Phone Aps as the fastest growing New Media download of all time. The 2 1/2 year graph shows Aps off the charts and makes the I Tunes graph look like nobody ever bothered to download them.

If you can give up worrying about being embarrassed you can handle anything and be in charge of everything.

Right now I feel a lot of Stations have a lot better Website than they do a Radio Station.

Speaking of Websites I think Radio is the only medium that can truly direct people to the important ones and we should charge accordingly.

Jeff Blazy is doing some real neat work with some stuff that can make your radio station sound as current as last night.

It is said that if you can walk away from any airplane landing it was a good landing. Paul Cavenaugh proved to me though that it is much better to limp away as he sits aboard his large yacht sipping a very nice red.

There is a huge difference between a woman wanting you and a woman needing you. The combination though is a wonderful experience and I guarantee you will never forget it..

All the no smoking signs only make sense to all of us who don’t smoke.

Do all people who gamble smoke.

I see a lot of women kindly pushing people around in wheel chairs and I salute them for their very generous behavior. I see very few men doing similar activities. What’s up with that.

I’ve always felt that the music on a Radio Station should be national but the content should be local.

Are there Bi-Polar men ?

I have reached the age where younger women really don’t notice me until I get between them and their career goal then they claim I’m kinda cute.

Do African Americans care whether the President has a US birth certificate or not.

In my last Blog I wrote that Blondes earn 7% more money than other woman. On my recent visit to Santa Rosa I couldn’t help but notice that the gorgeous Mary Ptak has now gone Blonde. I wonder if Tom Skinner is going to pony up the extra 7%.

Be careful of what you dream for some dreams do come true.

I’ve started to notice that the CC boys all seem to have a certain look and I can spot them at a hundred paces. Even though they only seem to hire folks with “the look” I cant figure out what that has to do with ratings&revenue but I’m working on it and will report back in.

Being too cool on the radio may be a barrier to real communication with the audience.

Bobby Cole told me now that he is no longer in radio and is just a listener, most of the music sounds very unfamiliar to him.

Cris Conner claimed that anybody that has “The Mail Bag of Hate” has a preponderance of edginess.

I know very few beautiful women who are not doing fairly well but I also know a bunch of guys who kinda have nothing going on no matter what they look like.

BLONDE WOMAN EARN 7% MORE THAN OTHER WOMEN. NOW HOW DUMB IS THAT !

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I hear Bob Pittman is bringing a whole new attitude and maybe even a new culture to CC since the recent departure of Mark Mays. Rumor has it he is telling the local folks that he expects some local creativity to be brought to the table for discussion. That’s a huge and welcome change I am told.

Speaking of change there is a big one in Las Vegas in just one year. Last year I was there for Ron Chapman’s induction into the Radio Hall Of Fame and the service and attitude of all the staff was incredible. This year I was back doing a panel at the NAB and now there seems to be a whole lot less staff and except for the cab drivers they seem very disgruntled.

Cris Conner heard that Matt Lauer and Katie Couric were re teaming soon to do the Yesterday Show

I’ll bend over backwards all the time to help air talent. It’s the bowing down to them that gets a little tedious now and then.

I’m still thinking about the number 1 biller in radio being in Washington. Now let me see, the last time I looked DC was in the 9th market so I’m wondering how can that be. No government money involved, Right?

I would think to be the number one biller in any town would take name talent on air and in sales, promotions, plus a ton of direct business.

I read somewhere that blonde women earn 7% more than other women. Now, how dumb is that?

According to Lee Abrams the foxy 80’s anchors just aren’t shocking anymore now they’re just average.

Speaking of shocking what’s shockingly good radio now and is there a U Tube of it going around.

Randy Michaels told me that the reason morning radio is down according to the PPM device is because the DAMN THING IS IN THE CHARGER while all the morning listening is going on.

A station I work with just informed me that the Jox were on fire because they were giving away $100 bills to the 10th caller every hour. They were all laughing it up and having fun with their listeners as they handed out the free money. Somehow they magically knew just how to promote and tease the whole thing plus sounded like they were having a ball doing it. In fact all on their own they were doing all the things we beg them to do everyday. Management’s question to me now though is … How do we get them to sound this good when we stop giving away the money. Easy answer for me … You’re going to have to inspire them everyday and everyday you’re going to have to come up with a whole new way to do that, or just give them more $100 bills to give away.

The only thing Media, New Media, and Social Media have in common is … A desperate need for content.

I hear Rick Dees is about to get Hot in LA again !

On our panel at the NAB John Gehron said radio wont ever be local again until the programming dictates cease coming from National Corporations.

Kevin Robinson on the same panel said at his cluster in St. Louis each station has it’s own PD and none of them are on the air.

Gary Vidler (Russell) stood up at our session and said that Canadian radio is having some similar problems as we do but radio they still manage to have a lot of live talent on the air.

There is so little new content coming out of American Radio right now that I understand for the first time in history Europeans are trying to sell us their product instead of buying ours.

I believe the only way you can get great ratings is if the person who is in first one every morning and the last to leave at night is in charge.

Ratings are only one of the many tools you need to get big billing numbers.

I wonder if young air talent is still Jonesin’ to get to the Majors like they used to.

Bob Christy said the thing he likes best about not being in radio anymore is he finally feels in charge of his own destiny.

I understand Roy Laughlin and my old partner Bill Yde are getting ready to launch the “Next” big thing in LA.

I always thought that Dan Mason was a PD in San Antonio but he corrected me when we were chatting in Vegas about it that it was in DC where he was a PD. San Antonio was the place he became a GM for the first time. Anyway I just love the part where one of America’s most powerful radio leaders came from programming.

At the moment I am staying at my brother Reg’s magnificent home in Carlsbad Ca. but each time I stay here I feel like poor white trash from Transcona. Wait a minute I am poor white trash from Transcona.

I am on my way to attend a special dinner that marks the 40th anniversary of one of America’s great stations KZST. I salute my good friends Gordon Zlot, Tom Skinner and Brent Farris for managing to bring the big time to Santa Rosa and prove that live and local radio is unbeatable.

IF THE TRUTH IS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT DO YOU STILL HAVE TO TELL IT IN COURT…

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As I write this I’m in Vegas to do a panel for my friend Tim Moore but I don’t see any radio people, all I see are bankers and lawyers. Wait a minute those are the radio people.

I love the line … Charlie Sheen is going on stage to do what?

Even Charlie Sheen’s failures like in Detroit are epic in proportion.

Tim Moore wants the NCAA to investigate The Butler Bulldog Basketball players. Reports are starting to leak out of Indianapolis that they all regularly attend classes plus have a very high grade point average. What are they thinkin’

Looks like the Bulldogs were spending a way too much time in class when they should have been practicing lay ups.

Arnold Siegel claims that if you mostly say what you mean and mean what you say you will be happy most of the time.

If your not a little bit frightened about what you are doing you’re not even close to your full potential.

It is very natural to sit down and very unnatural to stand up. But unfortunately standing up is the only place where quest for the gold begins.

Does it seem a little strange to you that some big stars lately have been leaving behind, misplacing or just losing intimate photos and/or film of them and their lovers doing the things lovers tend to do. These shocking visuals instead of hurting seem to be doing the opposite by reviving their fading careers. None of this is planned right ???

A lot of folks misunderstand what PPM is saying about radio in the morning. The listeners are not leaving morning radio they’re just leaving the ones that don’t have Super Stars and/or Super Content.

Where can we check on how much of the astronomical salaries these talented athletes get go to help the poor. I know a lot of them from poor countries send some home but how about the ones from poor communities right here in the good old USA. Are they sending any back to the neighborhoods where they just started to learn how do what they do so well now.

Jan Hall who is married to my friend Bob Christy and I have a pact. We want Bob to quit smoking so we tried to scare him into it by saying that if he dies from any smoking related issues I get to have sex with his beautiful wife right there at the funeral in front of all the mourners. Now I’m starting to pick up that Jan may be puffing on the odd cigarette now and then but I’m not going there because I’m telling you right now Bob this deal only works with Jan.

If any lie said anywhere was against the law, how would that change the world do you think.

Speaking of lies, in the 1400s Machiavelli told the King that the peasants were starting to educate themselves and it wouldn’t be too long now until they noticed they have you and your Royal Guards out numbered. When they figure that all out and realize while they are starving most of the time while you’re partying they are going to come up here and kick your ass. I think it is time for you to make a speech telling them that the good times are just ahead for them because your first priority now is to fix all their problems. Now the best part about this is you don’t really have do anything, just tell them you are doing something and that you have a great plan and you’re golden. And so it goes today.

OK I have to ask this one again … If telling the truth in a court of law is not politically correct do you still have to tell it.

At what age do you discover that the best things in life are not things.

When I was growing up they’re were so many rules in my house designed I was told to help me get through life successfully. All those rules ever did was make me defiant which I still maybe to this day. I’m not sure how that helped me a whole bunch, but maybe!

I wonder what great old photos from today they’re going to run 50 years from now.

My youngest Daughter Cami is wise beyond her years which I am totally against and also a little upset about. I feel you should hang on to your childhood as long as you can because what follows lasts more than a long time plus it’s not that much fun. Of course I just may be hanging to my own childhood a tad too long and I think it’s starting to embarrass my Grandson Nathaniel.

Speaking of Cami I was telling her that I think boys are now are tricking girls into using bad language so they no longer have to treat them like ladies nor protect them from all evil like their Dads do. The Dads of course are all looking for a little help with this important but unnoticed project but we see none on the horizon and we’ve all lost a step or two.

I think it all went wrong in Canada and America when somebody thought bad guys needed some rights even though they gave none to their victims.

What I loved about the North end in Boston was if you hurt anybody or did wrong there you were instantly dealt with they didn’t bother with Judges and Juries. The police didn’t even bother wasting their time patrolling there no need all was quiet.

Have you ever noticed when you bump into and old lover and remember old times together the part where you acted like bunnies most of the time and was such a big part of your relationship never comes up.

I was in a meeting with Jim Hilliard and a bunch of folks yesterday and Jim was explaining to the gathered that I hated all radio sales people. I said Jim that’s not true I only hate the ones who lie to me. He said well that about covers them all.

In the rest of show business you really have to be part of the show to make any money. In radio it seems that only the people who aren’t part of the play make all the money.

I wonder how the phrase … She’s having your baby ever got started. I know for sure that the courts have never bought into that other than the financial part.

According to FYI Music News in Canada, music aimed at females sells more than music aimed at males and it’s still radio that rings the musical cash register.

Most air talent only want to talk to their fan base but unfortunately their fan base has nothing more to give.

SEX, SALES & LIES

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I noticed that all the trades are writing about WTOP being the Number 1 biller in America. According to the writers and executives at the station the sales folk in their opinion seem to have done it all. From this attitude I can only surmise that all radio stations are only one great sales meeting away from being number one and toppling WTOP. Is the reason this myth continues because most GMs are from sales.

Tom Skinner said that if I don’t say something nice about sales people soon he is not going to make me any of those special Mojitos at our upcoming confab in Palm Springs.

The only sales people who really impress me are the ones that can sell a few spots without the help of ratings. Now that’s a real sales person Tommy !

On this one year anniversary of the BP oil spill, am I still the only one in America who doesn’t understand just what the hell was Britain doing drilling in our waters for in the first place.

Helen Torchia says calories are worse than bed bugs because they get into your whole wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter. She is totally positive her whole closet is infested with the little s**ts.

My parents and me are very different. I believe in and support as best I can what ever path my children choose. My parents who dictated what they thought I should become didn’t really support much of what I wanted to do with my life and in fact didn’t think I would ever turn out to be much. Much to my chagrin I have noticed that some of their teachings must have gotten through to me because I now realize that I share some of their prejudices. Exactly like them I find myself totally against all people who have their hand out no matter what their skin color or language preference may be.

How does Cyber Sex work. Do you need a Cyber Girl and if so how can you tell what they look like. Hey we don’t want to get involved with ugly people do we.

I asked a GM once why he had to give all the potential sales folks a written test. Cant you pretty well tell who the winners and losers are right off. Yes he explained but there are not enough winners to go around so we have to get a bunch of mid packers. It’s not that apparent whitch ones of them have a shot at becoming winners so the test narrows the field by mostly finding the losers.

When you lie your brain increases blood flow because it needs to think. The truth is automatic and needs no blood because the brain doesn’t need to think. Man It must be like a river of blood going on in those corporate radio meetings.

A fake smile only uses muscles around the mouth. A real smile uses the muscles around the eyes also forming crow’s feet, not attractive but attractively made.

An untrue statement is not a lie unless the person telling it is aware that their statement is untrue.

Speaking of lies it was discovered at U of Massachusetts that 60% of people lied at least 3 times in a 10 minute conversation. I’m sure radio folk just blow that number out of the water.

Mandarin Chinese is the most widely spoken language on earth which clears up the mystery of why so many people don’t understand what I am saying.

Warren Cosford claims that women consider themselves old at 29. Men don’t even start thinking about maybe getting old until they get around 58.

Donna Schaneen informed me at the office the other day that the name of her kickball team is The Pink Tacos. I had none then nor do I now have any public comments or quotes.

Ric Hindes said to me I have know you for 35 years and have never made your Blog and now I notice Donna is in there for the 3rd time. I dont even want to think about what she’s done to get that kind of action

When I played with my band The Jury we occasionally would be asked for autographs. The young girls would always ask if we had have any of the Beatles names please sign very large. My autograph of course was always the largest. I just realized the other day since the passing of both John and George I must own both names now. Do I need to call Paul and Ringo to find out their intentions or should I just have my attorney Betsy Cameron handle it all. Hey I’m thinkin’ Beatle reunion here and I still have my ’58 Fender Strat. I’m armed!

I’m going to a family meeting tonight with my Daughter and her Mother. One of the things I will be trying to explain to my 15 year old is … Girls who kinda act like boys are not that attractive to boys. Even though I’ve been through this once before in another movie wish me lots of luck in this new one.

When my oldest daughter Candis was a little girl she remembers every Sunday morning coming downstairs and dancing around to my favorite oldies that I was playing on the stereo as her Mother made a big Sunday breakfast. It didn’t seem like that much time had passed until I was soon dancing around to her own music as she sang and played it at The Whisky and The Roxy on Sunset.

Linda Duffy’s birthday is coming up this week and she has reminded me about it several times. I wonder why?

I think women have made great strides in the work place and a lot of them make very very good money. But there is just one more giant step they have to take before they can be completely equal in the work place. They have to learn how to pick up the cheque ( a little Canadian there for ya )