Love & Marriage Part 2 (new geo Blog for the week of Aug 06/17)

The only thing that a man wants from his woman is a little lovin’ and a whole lotta adoration.
 
When John Lennon once proclaimed, “The Beatles are just a band but Yoko’s my life,” was when I realized that he must be doing some very serious drugs.
 
Tom Skinner claims that the only thing men want for Valentines is for women not make such a big deal out of it.
 
Women forgive, but they never forget where as men don’t forgive, but they do forget.
 
Just because a person loves you doesn’t make their actions forgivable.
 
I’ve always been a one woman man, however, one may have to go through a few before finding the “one.”
 
The sad thing about hearing I’m sorry from a loved one is finding out the reason they had to say it.
 
Besides everything Tina Turner, “What’s Love Got To Do With It?”
 
Most women would give up their gadgets and perhaps a lover or two before they would ever give up their smartphone.
 
The guys who are good at chatting women up are usually the worst at everything else.
 
Why would you ever think that a guy who drives a Ferrari, wears a three thousand dollar suits and lives in a Penthouse would be out hunting for a wife at a night club?
 
The girl of my dreams is beautiful, intelligent, an ice queen in public and a slut in my bed.
 
Even though your world to you appears to be normal, it could look bizarre to your new love so tread ever so lightly.
 
Beware of women with cats for they may be all out of love.
 
True love is your having your partners back even when they’re wrong.
 
Daughters always try to protect you from beautiful women even when you don’t want them to.
 

It’s really easy to figure out if a guy has told the lady he’s with that he loves her because she’s doing all the talking. If she’s hanging onto his every word, he hasn’t yet.

If a woman could climax in less than five minutes would she seek therapy? Just askin’.
 
Women know the color of their bridesmaids dresses at 11 and spend the next decade or so hunting for a guy to play the part of the groom.
 
God may have given us the gift of love, but I’m pretty sure it was the Devil who gave us lust.
 
Most women would give up a “stud” in a heartbeat for a guy who would make a better father.
 
Even though we love them all dearly, there is no such thing as a 10 the highest score a woman can ever achieve is a 4.
(1) A woman you’d never sleep with still is a 1.
(2) A Woman that you’d make love to is a 2.
(3) A woman you’d be seen with is a 3.
(4) The woman you’d love to take back to your high school reunion is the 4.
 
A man is soft when he’s hard and hard when he’s soft.
 
Most women will do almost anything as long as they don’t have to talk about it come morning.
 
Men love telling their story because it’s the only one where they’re the hero.
 
I’ve always heard that size matters, but I’m pretty sure the ladies prefer that the bulge in his jeans be from his wallet.
 
Men are very much like microwave ovens whereas women are like crock pots.
 
Most women except for my daughters are not as innocent as they appear to be.
 
The sexiest part of a woman’s body is her face.
 
A picture of one or two naked ladies is usually breathtaking, but a photo of a bunch of them just looks odd.
 
The first time a man ever hears about PMS is shortly after he tells his lady that he loves her.
 
I know of no beautiful women who want to be equal.
 

The greatest honor a man can bestow upon a woman is asking her to marry him.

Sometimes a rejected marriage proposal is just an unanswered prayer.

Who says not tonight, I have a headache, in a gay relationship?

Wild women don’t get the blues!

I know of few men who think of marriage or children until they fall in love. 

A woman is only happy when a man is making her dreams come true whereas a man is at his happiest when his woman is supporting his dreams. Sh-boom!

Men troll for tramps and women tramp for trolls.

The only real interest women have in cars is that their man has a decent one.

If marriage isn’t about money why does it come up so often at the divorce hearings?

Much much more at GeorgeJohns.com and on Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio.
 
 

 

Love & Marriage Part 1. (new geo Blog for the week of July 31/17 )

I’ve been in love six times; my three children have three different mothers, I’ve been engaged twice but married only once.
I was engaged to and married my childhood sweetheart Lana, the mother of my eldest daughter Candis and my adopted son Curtis. I was engaged to Kari who is the mother of my youngest daughter Cami, and in spite of all my failed romances, maybe I should try again.  Bring on #7, Hey, maybe I’ll get lucky?

OTHER MUSHY AND NAUGHTY STUFF FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

Love ya, Love you too babe, I love you, and I’m in love with you all sound similar, but all have very different meanings.

A woman’s wants excite me but her needs not so much.

My favorite style of lovemaking is the kind that women are reluctant to mention.

My grandfather Ben Vince, who was a train engineer, stopped his train while traveling through Scotland so he could chat up my grandmother Charlotte Hunter whom he spotted in a field picking flowers.

On my father’s side, my grandfather Edward Johns was a band leader who when signed for a European tour married his 17-year-old piano player Anne Sutherland so she could legally travel with them. They managed to have six kids of which my Dad was the youngest.

The best partnership a couple could ever have is the one where he would die for her and she’d kill for him.

When men publicly describe the women that they love they tend to use the words from a Disney film. However, when describing the ones they don’t, they usually use words from Game Of Thrones.

What line do women cross over that takes them from “worldly” to “sluts?”

You can always buy great sex but not good conversation.

I understand that women always talk about sex with each other until men show up.

Women are a lot easier to deal with if you don’t desire them mostly because they don’t know how to handle you.

Men don’t realize that once they commit to a woman, they’ve committed to her whole family.

The only truth women wanna hear from their man is their confession about how bad they’ve been.

According to my uncle Jack, women are all the same they just look different.

Most women only remember five love affairs but no one-night stands.

Love other than the love you have for your children is very conditional.

As Jim Harper recently said, “Lucky is the man who is loved by a great woman.”

The first time you’ll ever hear about PMS is right after you confess to your girlfriend that you love her. Oh yeah, and you’ll also have to turn the music down, get rid of your two-seater sports car, stop going out with the guys, give up action movies, throw out your black leather couch, etc., etc.

When women spot a man, who seems to have the potential to be a decent father they begin to fall in love with them. Their next move is to make him perfect by trying to change him a little. Men, on the other hand, pray that the love of their life never changes but usually the reverse is what happens.

If you love something, you should set it free but if it doesn’t return you should have the right to hunt it down and kill it.

Women don’t make much sense until you love them which is why I understand both my beautiful daughters.

The definition of a so-called “good woman” is the one who listens to all your stories over and over again but appears to be hearing them for the first time.

Men usually only have two regrets on their deathbed, they didn’t spend enough time with their family, and they didn’t make love to all the women they could have.

The top 4 questions that some special ladies have asked me are:
(a) Did you know that I’m not wearing anything under this dress?
(b) Would you like to see how I amuse myself when you’re not here?
(c) Would you like to watch me shave all the way up?
(d) What do I have to do to get you to dirty text me?

If you don’t believe in magic, then explain love to me.

Being in a loveless marriage is worse than prison although unlike prison, you can buy your way out.

If you ever wonder while making love if the one your lovin’ on also makes love to others, you only have two choices left. You either marry her or run ’cause you’re done.

Being in love is the only reason to get married nothing else ever works out.

Women spend a lot of their early lives thinking about and planning on falling in love whereas it just happens to men.

Your man may need unconditional adoration and if you don’t give it that “young tart” who always seems to be sniffing around claims that she will.

The first time I ever thought about “women’s rights” was when my daughter Candis was born.

A slow trot down the aisle does not make your love unconditional you have to earn it every day.

Just because you love your family unconditionally doesn’t make any of them decent human beings.

The thing about marriage is that you have to back your partner even when they’re in the wrong.

Bald, landing strip, trimmed, or full bush?

Our deepest personal relationships are dependent on our ability to listen.

Giving up your virginity is never a magical moment so you might as well hold on to it for as long as you can.

Part II of “Love & Marriage” continues next week.

Much more @ GeorgeJohns.com and on Twitter@GeoOfTheRadio. Feel free to comment and share.

 

Guitars & Radio & Wild Wild Women (I Saw It On The Radio) Chapter LIII 4/05/22 (53)

I knew I was destined
to be a radio guy
The moment I started working
at old CKY

As I said in the previous chapter (Do You Wanna Know A Secret) When Frank Osborn asked me to speak at his management conference, I said, “Yes Sir” even though speeches and coventions are no longer my thing.
I used to love going to radio conventions, but I never did any panels because I was mostly there to hang out at the bar with some of the smarter radio guys and to reconnect with my old Canadian Radio buddies.

Unfortunately, when the conventions started filling up with nothing but lawyers, bankers, and brokers, I lost my appetite for them.
However, to this day, I still vividly remember going to my first and my last convention.

My first radio convention was in Las Vegas shortly after I became the new program director at CKOM in Saskatoon. (Me pictured above with fellow Canadians, Paul Ski, Tom Peacock, Barry Nesbit, and Al Mair)
Being a rookie PD I was anxious to absorb all the radio I possibly could so I went to every session and took copious notes.

Not only were all the radio legends I’d read about there, but I also got to hang out with my former boss from CKY, Jim Hilliard.
Jim, who was the PD of WFIL in Philly at the time had just accepted an offer to return to Fairbanks Broadcasting in Indianapolis but this time he was going to be the CEO. Little did we know that within a few years we’d be back working together again.

One of the better sessions at my first convention featured Chuck Blore who had left the programming ranks to start producing award-winning commercials.
At his session, Chuck stated that the length of a commercial has little to do with its effectiveness.
(Chuck pictured above)

To prove his point, Chuck played a 10-second commercial that went like this, “When we asked the ladies of LA what they thought about Hai Karate cologne for men,” they said,“OH MY GOD!”

The last radio convention I went to was in San Diego which just happened to be going on when I was visiting my brother Reg.
Reg, who had created a new thing for radio called the rewards program which he had on 1100 stations worldwide, had a suite there, so I got to hang out.

While hanging out, not only did I get to reunite with my old pal and now superstar Delilah, but I also got to sneak into Jeff and Jer’s Session.
I’d worked with Jeff and Jer when they first moved to San Diego, and now here I was twenty years later trying to sneak into their session.

Even though the room was jam-packed, I managed to find a seat way in the back and out of sight.
I’m sure that most of the folks were hoping that Jeff & Jer would share their secrets, especially the one about how to make the kind of money they did. However, I’m sure they didn’t want to hear the part about how much hard work they did.

Their session, which was moderated by their GM, the legendary Tracy Johnson was filled with stories about the many stunts they’d done over the years which was very fun.
Then Tracy said, “It’s time for some Q and A” and one of the first questions asked was, “Do you remember the day you knew that you were going to make it big?”

Jerry responded with, “I sure do but it wasn’t a day, it was three days!”
Jerry then went on to explain that shortly after they arrived in San Diego, their boss, Pam Finn told them that she had a gift for them.

“The gift,” he said, “Turned out to be a three-day programming session with a radio god by the name of George Johns.
Hearing that, I thought, “Damn, they must have spotted me and are setting me up for one of their pattened killer finishes.

JPam, Jerry claimed, said, “After three days with George you’ll know all you need to know about how to become #1 in San Diego.
At this point, Jeff jumped in and said, “At our first session, George told us to forget about all the radio folks, the stars in this town are a TV Sportscaster and the Mayor, that’s who you have to beat.

“We spent the next three days figuring out how to become bigger than them what and now some twenty years later, we still do everything we learned during those three magical days.”
When the session ended and I surprisingly remained unscathed, I made my way up to the front to say hi to them, they genuinely seemed shocked to see me.

Jerry gave me a big hug and said, “Hey man why didn’t you let us know you were coming, we would have said some nice s*it about you.”


When they introduced me to their boss Tracy, he said that Jeff and Jer meant every word they said about you up here but I for one am tired of hearing your name.
He went on to explain that whenever Jeff and Jer didn’t want to do something, I got to hear, “George Johns warned us to never do that kinda stuff because it’ll ruin our careers!”
(Jeff & Jer and Tracy Johnson pictured above)

 

 

 

 

Guitars & Radio & Wild Wild Women. (Who Ya Gonna Call?) Chapter LIX 3/17/22 (59)

1391519_10152262591074307_1940714010_nCami lived in Tampa
while going to USF

She was majoring in psychology
and signing to the deaf 

A couple of years ago, while driving my daughter Cami back to Tampa for her sophomore year at USF, I was reminded of when her sister Candis was a sophomore at NYU in New York.
Having to go to New York on business I invited her to have dinner with me and my old friend, Rick Moranis.

Rick and I worked together at CFTR in’72, and he hadn’t seen Candis since she was a little girl, so he was pretty anxious to see how she turned out.
Candis was thrilled, but as she told me, Rick was her boyfriend Luigi’s favorite actor, so she begged me to let him come along.

When I said ok, and she told Luigi he didn’t believe her, and then when she said that Rick was a good friend of mine, Luigi sarcastically said, “Right, your Dad knows everybody doesn’t he?”

It was a beautiful evening in New York, so Rick and I decided to walk to the restaurant from my hotel, which was close by.
As we strolled along chatting, Rick was so unpretentious that when people passed by, you could see them do a double-take before deciding that it couldn’t be him.

Upon our arrival at the restaurant, we discovered that Candis and Luigi were already seated and when Rick gave Candis a big hug, Luigi’s jaw dropped to the floor.
Candis told me later that Luigi while they were waiting, still thought that it was a prank until Rick walked through the door.

What an unforgettable night; Rick entertained us with all the inside stories about the making of Ghost Busters, Little Shop Of Horrors, Honey I Shrunk The Kids, Space Balls, My Blue Heaven, and countless others.
He claimed that the magic of Ghost Busters came from the nervous energy that was on the set because, like him, most of the actors were writers, so you never knew what was going to come at you when the cameras were rolling.

He also explained that during the filming of Little Shop Of Horrors that it took several people pulling on ropes to make the plant appear alive.
Unfortunately, he said that they would have to double the playback speed because they couldn’t pull the lines fast enough. This meant that Rick had to move his mouth at half speed whenever he and the plant were in a scene together.

When I asked him how the hell he managed to do that and act at the same time, he claimed that it was easy.
They just put a guy behind the camera whose only job was to hold up my paycheck.
We talked a lot about movies but Rick and I did get to reminisce a little about when we worked together at CFTR in Toronto. (Rick shown above at CFTR in his “bitch shirt.”)
Rick graciously told Candis that I was responsible for his being in show business. When your Dad put me on the radio one weekend, he said, “I knew immediately that I had to be in show business so I quit Medical School.”

When I asked Rick how come he lived in New York instead of Hollywood, he said because I’m more a writer than an actor, so I have to live where I’m inspired to write.
“In fact,” he told Candis, “I’m in the middle of writing a script right now about how strange the times were when your Dad and I worked at CFTR.”

I want to show what the world looked like through the eyes of all the crazy characters who worked at CFTR like Sandy Hoyt, Roger Klein, Keith Elshaw, Doc Harris, Sharon Henwood, Earl Mann, Stirling Faux, and The Magic Christian.

As the night came to close and Luigi hadn’t touched his food or spoken a word, Rick leaned over to Candis and said, “It’s obvious that your boyfriend can’t speak but can he sign?”

 

 

A Hit Is A Hit Is A Hit (new geo Blog for the week of July 24/17)

I heard an interview with Frank Zappa (pictured above) a while back where he admitted that even he’s not immune to a hit. He said that he was driving through Hollywood one day on his way to Burbank to meet with his record company. It was a beautiful Southern California day he went on to say so he had the top down and was enjoying the sunshine. He was listening to the radio as he drove and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to all the tunes coming out of it. At some point, he had to stop for a red light, and while waiting for it to change, another car pulled up beside him. As he sat there, he noticed that the couple in the other car were staring at him in horror. That’s when he realized that he’d been singing along rather loudly to “Sugar Sugar.”

SOME OTHER STUFF… 

Most of our problems began in the middle east when Bush senior sent in troops in to help out some country called Kuwait. Do they even send us a Christmas card now?
 
Why doesn’t the CIA do something useful like make a deal with China to get rid of NK’s leader instead of whatever the hell they are doing?
 

The person who never makes a mistake usually answers to a person who makes a lot of them.

Gangs are a place cowards go to hide.
 
The thing about running is that there is no gray area, you’re either running, or you’re not.
 
The only result that’s guaranteed is that if you do nothing, nothing will happen.
 
Your time on earth is limited, don’t waste a moment of it living someone else’s dream.
 
The older you get, the stronger the resistance appears to be.
 
40% of Americans are Democrats and 40% Republicans and the other 20% like me, probably think badly of them both. I’m feeling the power!
 
Too bad the people who think they know how to run this country are too busy playing their guitars to do so.
 
How the hell do illegal aliens live in California, I know I can’t afford to.
 
It wasn’t the rich who made America great; it was the middle class.
 
So many emails so few worth reading.
 
I know many men who would die for the woman they love, but I know few women worthy of it. 
 
The bigger the problem, the way bigger the reward for the solution.
 
Most folks will try to talk you out of wanting that which is difficult to deliver. 
 
Detroit proved that paying workers what they believed they were worth, helped destroy a city.
 
I wonder if food manufacturers realize that we have noticed they’re making their packages smaller.
 
I wish the geeks would slow down on inventing new technology until they have what we’ve already got, working as well as cars.
 
I learned a long time ago that radio sales person works for the client, not the station. We just pay them.
 
If you do your radio show exclusively for people who don’t know who you are, they soon will.
 
Unfortunately, things can always get worse.
 
You may think you’re alone, but Karma is always watching you.
 

You are only what you remember.

Nothing is as frightening as you imagine it to be, in fact, there is nothing scarier than our own thoughts.

I’m very curious about things until somebody tries to teach me something.

Much more at GeorgeJohns.com and on twitter @GeoOfTheRadio
 
 
 

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