The other day, after catching up on the phone with my very successful nephew, Jamie Boychuk, I realized that we have at least four things in common.

We’re both from a small town in Canada called Transcona; we started at the bottom of our chosen profession, we both had a mentor (Jamie’s was Hunter Harrison, mine was Jim Hilliard), and both of us ended up in America, where we kicked ass. (Jamie and I are pictured above)

Jamie became the COO of CSX railway, and I ended up owning a few radio stations.
Both of us, I believe, became successful because we didn’t learn how to do things; we experienced them.

In the beginning, we probably did so many things wrong that all that was left were the right things.
In my case, every market I worked in taught me something, but one of the most memorable things I learned about radio came from my wife, Lana.

At the time, I was the PD of CKSO in Sudbury, and things were going very well. I had a talented lineup that included Bill Drake and Dal Ross doing mid-days.
I loved Bill’s style; he talked about and played music for the ladies doing laundry on Monday, Tuesday was ironing day, and so on, but Dal only talked about hunting and fishing.

Because we were a female-oriented radio station, Dal’s show always drove me crazy.
Anyway, just before driving to Indianapolis for a mini vacation to Jim and Barb Hilliard in Indy, the rating book came out.

Can you see this one coming? Dal kicked Bill’s ass.
WHAT!

Anyway, as Lana and I were driving out of town for our mini vay-cay, we got to hear the end of Bill’s show and the beginning of Dal’s.
Still freaked out that Dal had killed Bill, I took the opportunity and asked Lana what she thought of Dal.

She replied, “Well, he talks about a lot of stuff that I don’t care about, but he’s just being a man, so it’s okay.”
However, when I asked her about Bill, she said, “Oh, I hate him; he knows what I look like without makeup.”

GEO’S LIFE-LINERS

Have you ever noticed that they’ve got lots of live people trying to sell you something on the phone, but later, when you need their help, all you get is a bot?

Everybody needs an agent to sing their praises; you can’t do it for yourself. Hey, without his Disciples, Jesus would’ve been a nobody. 

It is said that if you don’t ask for it, you’ll never get it. However, a better approach may be to offer your help to the person who can give you what you want.

For whatever reason, rich guys like to invest in show business, probably because it’s sexy. However, very few want to invest in radio. Hmmmmm! 

My friend Billy Bob Harris claims that one day, somebody is going to say something that everybody else is thinking.

The words: easy-to-follow instructions horrify me.

Did any NFL coaches go to college, or do they just coach there?

Nobody has the right to be racist.

There are only two ways of altering a situation: alter the situation or alter yourself.

When you finally do something, all that’s left is waiting to see if you have to face the consequences or enjoy the benefits.

I still believe in radio, but I don’t believe in the way they do it now.

Speaking of radio, it needs to be done for the listener first and then the client.

What NFL Team Would be interested in having Jerry Jones as their GM?

Sometimes, you gotta save some answers for questions.

The need for variety is shrinking.

To become successful, you need to walk your talk.

What if an owner owned several NFL teams? Would the teams get better or worse? Of course, it’s a radio question.

If women listed the things they get being women and what they don’t get because of said same. What list do you suppose would be longer?

According to the bible, man’s worst swear words are ok with God.

Is there any better experience than being in love?

Even though I understand that things are how they are and not how I  wish them to be, I still only give a shit about how I want them to be.

I wonder how far along we are going green; it took twenty years for the internet to click.

You can choose your destiny; you don’t have to leave it to chance.

I just realized that Taylor Swift is bigger than her music. Even though I’m very aware of her, I’m unable to hum any of her tunes.

The more mistakes you make- the smarter you become.

COMMENTS

Jerry Baker: George…You da man. I had back surgery on Tuesday with a fusion of a couple of vertebrae. I bought the deluxe package. Just put my ass out and wake me up before we go-go. All in all, it was not a lot of fun, but not much worse than waiting for the next book to come in, which, thanks to you, we were never overly concerned about. (They’re Gonna Stab Me)
Geo: My procedure took about 15 minutes, Jerry, but I won’t know for about another week if it worked well. It feels pretty good at the moment because they also injected me with pain medication.
As far as a new rating book on the way, our only concern was how big to make the rating party. We were the best man. What a lineup.

Randy Kabrich: I’m telling you that the odds are that one leg is a few mm shorter than the other, as it is with almost half the population. #1 cause of hip replacement and sciatica, but as your column proves, most Doctors don’t even consider it. It’s pretty easy to correct as well to start healing. But you need someone to look for it first.
Caveat. I’m not a Doctor, and I have had no professional training in college (sort of like most radio jobs). I just have a very good memory, and I’ve had weird medical issues – if it can happen, it will happen to me, is my motto. My opinions are my own and should be taken as that and nothing more. (Stabbing me)
Geo: I’ll be going back to Dr. pain for a follow up, so I’ll bring it up, Randy, thanks for the tip and the read.

Radio Geo’s Media Blog is a politically incorrect inside look at Radio, TV, Music, Movies, Books, Social Media, Politics, Religion, and Life, primarily written with men in mind.
For a peek at upcoming blogs or to see some you may have missed, go to GeorgeJohns.com.
On Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio.
Sharing and commenting is appreciated.
If you’d like to subscribe, email your address to radiogeo@gmail.com.

As you’re probably aware, I’ve had Sciatica for the last two years.
It all began about four years ago when, while doing my morning run, suddenly, a sharp pain shot down down my leg.

When I asked my doctor about it, he said, “You’ve got Sciatica; it’ll either go away or it won’t.”
About six months later, sure enough, the pain disappeared, but by then, I’d lost all interest in running and was spending most of my time sitting around eating and drinking.

Then, about two years ago, I decided that I needed to get back in shape, so I started climbing the stairs in my building.
The tower I live in is twenty-one stories high, so I began with one flight a day and then added another one every Monday.

My goal was to do all twenty-one stories as fast as I could.
I was doing well and of course was feeling stronger every day, until I reached the fifteen stories and then, there was, again, that all-too-familiar pain.

I’ve tried everything: sitting on tennis balls, miracle leg wrappings, physical therapy, acupuncture, and chiropractors, but nothing worked.
Finally, my GP sent me to a pain Doctor, who needed me to get an MRI before he could make any recommendations.

However, months went by before I could get the MRI authorized by my provider, and when I finally got it done, Dr. Pain recommended two procedures: a Spinal Epidural and a Spinal Block, so we set a date.
Unfortunately, the date we set was changed several times because, once again, the authorization was slow.

All of this was pissing me off so much that  I signed up with a new insurance company beginning in the new year.
By the time the authorization finally showed up, it was too late,

Now I’m rescheduled for Jan 11th, which means I have to get a new doctor and authorization from my new insurance company.
I guess I got it done because Dr. Pain’s office called me a couple of days before my procedure to say that we were good to go.

My appointment on the 11th was for 9:15, but my Buddy, Big Bob, had me there by 8:45, so nervously, in  I go.
However, as soon as I gave the receptionist my name, I could see this was all gonna go south because she had that “no way, Jose” look in her eyes.

After peering at her screen for a while, she finally looked up and said, Mr. Jones, you don’t have an appointment today.
I said, “No, my name is George Johns, and the other George was married to Tammy Wynette. I wasn’t.”

Not even a snicker as she continued scrolling again, but I could still see the “no” word lurking in her eyes.
Yep, here it comes again, “Nope,” she says, “You’re not scheduled today,” and I was ready to blow up.

I’ve always had an extremely difficult time handling the word no.

However, my brother Reg has now convinced me that I need to get control of it because it’s never going to end well.
Instead of throwing things, he suggested, “Why don’t you dial it down and softly ask, what do you suggest I do? ”

So there I was ready to blow and struggling to dial it down when an official-looking lady showed up and said to the receptionist, “Do we have a problem?”
The receptionist said yes, “Mr. Jones claims that he has an appointment for two procedures, but I don’t see him on the schedule.

Once again, I reiterated, “It’s Johns, not Jones; I don’t even know Tammy Wynette.”
This made, the lady who turned out to be the company’s administrator, laugh before saying, “Mr. Johns, why don’t you take a seat and let me straighten this out for you?”

Sure enough, she did, and after signing about thirty forms, Nurse Savanna took me back to a curtained room where two other nurses were waiting.
One of them took my vitals, one interviewed me, and one pricked my finger to check my blood. What a joy they were.

Whenever I’m nervous or frightened, I try to make everybody around me laugh, which makes me laugh because it’s hard to be frightened when you’re laughing. We were all howling!

Oh, oh, now it’s time to boogie, so two of the nurses, while holding on to me, took me to the operating room, where two doctors and two more nurses were waiting.
While I was taking the stuff out of my pockets, one of them said, “I see on your chart that you’ve chosen numbing instead of anesthesia.

I said yeah, at my age, I think that anesthesia stuff is a little dangerous, and when I leave this planet, I want it to be after a party, not lying here on a bench.
They all laughed, but then one of them seriously said, “Hey, we’re going to be stabbing you about eight times. Are you sure you don’t want to go under?”

Okay, now they’ve got me real nervous, but I manned up and stuck to my guns.
First, they had me lay on my stomach, and then the Doc said, “You’re going to feel a few little pinches when we inject you with the numbing medication.”

I did feel them a little, and as I was lying there thinking, “Boy, I sure hope this numbing stuff works,” they said, “OK, you can sit up now; we’re done.”
What! Wow, when they pricked my finger earlier hurt more than this.

When the two nurses who brought me there returned to take me back to the curtained room, they said to the Doctors, “How’d it go?”
They replied, “Great, this guy is Superman; he didn’t wince once.”

GEO’S LIFE LINERS

Before you can be respected and trusted by others, you have to trust and respect them first.

COMMENTS

Randy Kabrich: George Johns, I have a question for you that I’ve always wanted an answer to but really had no one that I could ask.
Up until 1986, KVIL ran upwards of 15 minutes of spots per hour, but it never ran more than two spots in a row – and one going into the News with another in the newscast.
Having never visited Boston or Philly when Fairbanks owned them, I have no reference for WIBG or F105, but I’m pretty sure WNAP clustered the spots in the 78-79 time frame.
Pretty sure Chuck Knapp clustered at KSTP-FM as well.
When you put on the CLASS stations, you clustered the spots as well, unlike KVIL.
As KVIL was challenged (and often beaten in key demos) from 1980 on by Terry Dorsey and Continuous Country Favorites at KSCS, why weren’t the spots clustered at KVIL under Fairbanks/Hilliard?
Obviously, you made the decision to cluster at the Class stations. Why was KVIL stuck, never airing more than two spots in a row?

Geo: Great question, Randy. When we launched KVIL in 1973, we weren’t a “much more music” station; we were a “much more personality and promotion” driven station.”
Most of the air staff at Kay-Ville were morning men, and the reason we only ran two spots each was to create more opportunities for them to shine.

They needed to shine because one of my many demands was that they do something special every show that was worthy of becoming a promo.
Oh, and we were also doing a lot of stunting and big promotions that I wanted them to talk about so the two-spot rule provided them with many places to do so.

In those days, Randy, I was studying with the man Walt Disney hired to be the Dean of his University.
His name was Mike Vance, and he provided me with a ton of insights about how things worked backstage at Disney in story form.

I’ll never forget the day he told me the story of Walt’s desire to make Disneyland more beautiful; which became the cornerstone of programming at Fairbanks and also later at “Class.”
Mike said that Walt’s brother, Roy, came to Walt one day and said, “We’ve got to put some small fences around the flowers; the people are trampling them, and it’s costing us a lot of money to replace them every day.”

Walt looked at him for a moment before saying, “No, Roy, we need to make the park more beautiful.
If we succeed, more people will visit, and if more people visit us, we’ll easily be able to replace the flowers. Fences won’t accomplish that.”

What does this have to do with radio, you may ask? Well, when Fairbanks Broadcasting took over KVIL, I had to sit down with Ron Chapman and explain to him how things worked.
“Ron,” I said, “You’re now the keeper of the park; your job is to make sure the park is beautiful at all times, and the way you do it is by ripping all the bad shit off the air.

No sexist talk, no loud music, and especially no terrible-sounding commercials.
From this moment on, you have the power to take any commercial you deem ugly, off the air.

The only people who can override you on this are Jim Hilliard and me, oh, and I suppose Mr. Fairbanks, too. However, Mt F doesn’t know about any of this; if he did, we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Randy, when I left Fairbanks and moved to California to hang up my consulting shingle, I no longer had the Fairbanks resources.
I couldn’t hire morning types for all the air shifts, nor did we have any promotion money, but because I had no idea how you do radio without great talent and big promotions, we had to figure it out.

The first thing we did was put any money we did have into the morning show.
Next, we clustered the spots, which gave the rest of the air staff fewer opportunities to screw up.

Then, we cleverly worked the clients into our promotions without them sounding like sales promotions.
One of the prime examples was the Prize Catalog, which not only got great ratings it also contained several money-making opportunities for the sales department.

Randy, I could go on and on and on and on about surge hour programming, making the TV news, appointment tune-in, and using data-based marketing to target the folks who tend to not only vote but also fill out forms.
Hopefully, though, somewhere in here, I answered your question.

GEO’S LIFE-LINERS

Is it just me, or do the folks from India, when speaking English, sound like they’re not using punctuation?

If you’re able to explain your goals to your staff, most times, they can come up with a better way of getting there than you can.

As an amateur, it’s 90% physical, but when you go pro, it becomes 90% mental.

The basic instinct of a man is to take care of his family; if he doesn’t, he ain’t no man.

Does anybody know if any Asians, Hispanics, Blacks, or Gay people were aboard the SS Ark when it started raining?

Is it possible to find one person in America who will stand up and support Mr. Field’s claim that Audicy did good radio?

Gandhi’s favorite writer, Frederick Lewis Donaldson, claims that  there are seven social sins:
Wealth without work.
Pleasure without conscience.
Knowledge without character.
Commerce without morality.
Science without humanity.
Religion without sacrifice.
Politics without principles.

I know several sinners; how ’bout you?

Radio Geo’s Media Blog is a politically incorrect inside look at Radio, TV, Music, Movies, Books, Social Media, Politics, Religion, and Life, primarily written with men in mind.
For a peek at upcoming Blogs or to see some you may have missed, go to GeorgeJohns.com.
On Twitter @GeoOfTheRadio. Sharing and commenting is appreciated.
If you’d like to subscribe, email your address to radiogeo@gmail.com.