As you’re probably aware, I’ve had Sciatica for the last two years.
It all began about four years ago when, while doing my morning run, suddenly, a sharp pain shot down down my leg.

When I asked my doctor about it, he said, “You’ve got Sciatica; it’ll either go away or it won’t.”
About six months later, sure enough, the pain disappeared, but by then, I’d lost all interest in running and was spending most of my time sitting around eating and drinking.

Then, about two years ago, I decided that I needed to get back in shape, so I started climbing the stairs in my building.
The tower I live in is twenty-one stories high, so I began with one flight a day and then added another one every Monday.

My goal was to do all twenty-one stories as fast as I could.
I was doing well and of course was feeling stronger every day, until I reached the fifteen stories and then, there was, again, that all-too-familiar pain.

I’ve tried everything: sitting on tennis balls, miracle leg wrappings, physical therapy, acupuncture, and chiropractors, but nothing worked.
Finally, my GP sent me to a pain Doctor, who needed me to get an MRI before he could make any recommendations.

However, months went by before I could get the MRI authorized by my provider, and when I finally got it done, Dr. Pain recommended two procedures: a Spinal Epidural and a Spinal Block, so we set a date.
Unfortunately, the date we set was changed several times because, once again, the authorization was slow.

All of this was pissing me off so much that  I signed up with a new insurance company beginning in the new year.
By the time the authorization finally showed up, it was too late,

Now I’m rescheduled for Jan 11th, which means I have to get a new doctor and authorization from my new insurance company.
I guess I got it done because Dr. Pain’s office called me a couple of days before my procedure to say that we were good to go.

My appointment on the 11th was for 9:15, but my Buddy, Big Bob, had me there by 8:45, so nervously, in  I go.
However, as soon as I gave the receptionist my name, I could see this was all gonna go south because she had that “no way, Jose” look in her eyes.

After peering at her screen for a while, she finally looked up and said, Mr. Jones, you don’t have an appointment today.
I said, “No, my name is George Johns, and the other George was married to Tammy Wynette. I wasn’t.”

Not even a snicker as she continued scrolling again, but I could still see the “no” word lurking in her eyes.
Yep, here it comes again, “Nope,” she says, “You’re not scheduled today,” and I was ready to blow up.

I’ve always had an extremely difficult time handling the word no.

However, my brother Reg has now convinced me that I need to get control of it because it’s never going to end well.
Instead of throwing things, he suggested, “Why don’t you dial it down and softly ask, what do you suggest I do? ”

So there I was ready to blow and struggling to dial it down when an official-looking lady showed up and said to the receptionist, “Do we have a problem?”
The receptionist said yes, “Mr. Jones claims that he has an appointment for two procedures, but I don’t see him on the schedule.

Once again, I reiterated, “It’s Johns, not Jones; I don’t even know Tammy Wynette.”
This made, the lady who turned out to be the company’s administrator, laugh before saying, “Mr. Johns, why don’t you take a seat and let me straighten this out for you?”

Sure enough, she did, and after signing about thirty forms, Nurse Savanna took me back to a curtained room where two other nurses were waiting.
One of them took my vitals, one interviewed me, and one pricked my finger to check my blood. What a joy they were.

Whenever I’m nervous or frightened, I try to make everybody around me laugh, which makes me laugh because it’s hard to be frightened when you’re laughing. We were all howling!

Oh, oh, now it’s time to boogie, so two of the nurses, while holding on to me, took me to the operating room, where two doctors and two more nurses were waiting.
While I was taking the stuff out of my pockets, one of them said, “I see on your chart that you’ve chosen numbing instead of anesthesia.

I said yeah, at my age, I think that anesthesia stuff is a little dangerous, and when I leave this planet, I want it to be after a party, not lying here on a bench.
They all laughed, but then one of them seriously said, “Hey, we’re going to be stabbing you about eight times. Are you sure you don’t want to go under?”

Okay, now they’ve got me real nervous, but I manned up and stuck to my guns.
First, they had me lay on my stomach, and then the Doc said, “You’re going to feel a few little pinches when we inject you with the numbing medication.”

I did feel them a little, and as I was lying there thinking, “Boy, I sure hope this numbing stuff works,” they said, “OK, you can sit up now; we’re done.”
What! Wow, when they pricked my finger earlier hurt more than this.

When the two nurses who brought me there returned to take me back to the curtained room, they said to the Doctors, “How’d it go?”
They replied, “Great, this guy is Superman; he didn’t wince once.”

GEO’S LIFE LINERS

Before you can be respected and trusted by others, you have to trust and respect them first.