Things heated up
and we got a little crazy
And before you knew it
she was having my baby

I’ve worked with a lot of owners and management people over the years and one of the best was Frank Osborn.
I’ve known Frank since the mid-’80s when he hired me to help fix K101 in San Francisco.

Even though I was the corporate consultant for his Fairmont Communication plus a few of his Osborn Communications stations, I never saw very much of Frank.
That was a good thing, though, because, as he told me when we first met, “I only show up at a radio station to deliver bad news.” (Frank is pictured on top)

Anyway, years later, when Frank asked me to be the opening speaker at his management conference in the hills of the Carolinas, I was honored to do so.

Unfortunately, my plane was delayed, so I didn’t arrive until the middle of the night, so Frank graciously moved me to the second speaker position.

After stumbling out of bed the next morning, they took a quick shower and then off to the meeting room, where they were taking a coffee break.
Taking advantage of the situation, I slipped up on stage and wrote on an easel board, “The two secret words that will enable you to bed beautiful woman.”

When the break was over, Frank introduced me, but for the life of me, I can’t remember what I spoke about except it had nothing to do with what I had written on the board.
However, I do remember at the end, when I asked if there were any questions, a dozen hands shot up. They wanted to know what the secret words were.

“Ahh yes,” I said, “I didn’t forget; I just decided to talk about something else, but if Frank thinks we have time, maybe I can do the Readers Digest version?”
Frank said, “George, there’s no way you’re getting off that stage without giving up those secret words.”

“Ok,” I said, “Now that I see that we have two experts in the house, I feel much better about discussing this.” (I’d noticed that two of Frank’s management people were women.)

I began by saying that I’d accidentally stumbled across these words after dining with my fiance Kari at Chuck and Harolds in Palm Beach.
As we left the restaurant, she asked if we could pop into the bookstore next door. (Kari pictured above)

Kari being a psychotherapist, was always on the lookout for new books on the subject, so in we went.
As she began leafing through a few books, I wandered around to see if they had anything of interest to me.

Ahh, there it was! Lying on a table was a book entitled “How To Drive Woman Wild In Bed.”
Being more than a little curious when I checked out the index, the first chapter asked, “Are You A Stud Or A Dud,” which included a questionnaire to be completed by your significant other.

Hey, if for no other reason, I had to buy it for that, right?
However, as I continued browsing, the next chapter was entitled “The Two Secret Words That Will Enable You To Bed Beautiful Women.” Now I had to buy the book.

Later that night, while Kari was completing the quiz, I was looking through the book for the secret words.
What’s that you say, “How did I do on the questionnaire? Silly you, that was never in question.”

Can you imagine how shocked I was when I discovered that the words that I thought would be about sex turned out to also be about radio.

“Wow,” I went on to say, “Not only will these words provide you with beautiful women to warm your bed at night, but they’ll also give you the ability to do a great show the next morning.”

Ok, I said, “We’re out of time, here they come, “PASSION & IMAGINATION.”
As I left the stage, I couldn’t help but notice that our two experts were smiling and nodding their heads in agreement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

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The time has come
for my return
Back to the place
where I began
to learn

An overdue reunion
at old CKY
And probably
the last chance
to say our goodbyes.

As busy as we were in Boston, Jim and I were, we still managed to find the time to fly back to Winnipeg for a CKY reunion.
Jim and I had worked there in the mid-sixties when he was the PD, and I was a board op. (Jim pictured above with Deno Corrie, Me, and Burton Cummings)

When we landed in Winnipeg and were pulling up to the terminal, Jim sarcastically said, “Hey Johns, I think we’ve lucked out; the ground crew’s not wearing parkas.”

With some help from Ron Taylor and Embree McDermid, Michael Gillespie did a super job of putting the reunion together.
Unfortunately, we were a little late because most of the first team was already gone. Sadly my old friend Chuck Dann (Riley), who not only taught me how to do production but also produced The Jury’s first record, is gone, as is Dean Scott. (Chuck is pictured above, bottom left, and Dean, upper right.)Also gone are news guys Frank Roberts, Mike Hopkins, John Pierce, and Bill Trebilcoe. (Frank and Mike are shown above interviewing the Beatles)
Bill Grogan, who replaced Jim, is gone, as is my good friend Jim Coghill who stayed up all night with me waiting for the birth of my daughter Candis. (Jim pictured below)
I sure miss singing with my old buddy Daryl ‘B’ .” (Daryl is pictured  above with  me at a Jury gig.)
Hey, and what I wouldn’t have given to be able to thank Cactus Jack Wells for teaching me that if I could handle him, I could handle anybody. (Jack is pictured below with the actor from The Millionaire, Marvin Miller) What a great evening, it was fun catching up with Deno Corrie, Roy Hennessy, Embree McDermid, and Warren Cosford.
Hey, and even Bruce Walker and Terry Kenny, my bandmates from The Jury showed up along with my brother Reg.

Superstar Burton Cummings (The Guess Who) Had the best line of the night when Jim told him, “Hey Burton, I’m not a starf#cker, but my wife Barbara made me promise to say hi to you for her.” Burton responded, “I can understand you not being a starf#cker, Jim, but perhaps Barbara is?”

Speaking of Burton, his mother wasn’t expected to make it through the night, so he had to leave the affair early.
However, before he left, he did sing a couple of his hits along with a few bars of our first record, “Until You Do,” which he claimed he bought with his paper route money.

Inducted Chapman into
the Hall of Fame

And did it on Natinal TV
which is not my game

Now I’m blogging
and writing three books

Hoping and prayin’
that God’s not ready
to give me the hook.

Life’s been wonderful
but it’s gone by
too fast

So I’m hopin’
these rhymes
will help make
it last

Not done yet
got more
chapters to go
Cuz now
I’ve got a Grandson
so we’ll see
how it goes.

 

 

 

 

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