When I was in my late teens, I used to follow a band around called Johnny Lauzon and the Big Boppers. I loved the band because it featured on sax, my good friend, Peter Proskurnik who was the one that got my musical career started. One of the places the Big Boppers played was the Normandy Ballroom on Sherbrooke in downtown Winnipeg, and it was while there that I spotted this gorgeous girl named Sandy. She was very petite with pale white skin, and even though it didn’t match her name, she had beautiful jet black hair. Pete’s band played every Thursday, and every Thursday, there I was at the Normandy trying to get Sandy to dance with me. Occasionally she’d throw me a bone but never for the slow ones, and mostly she’d just ignore me.
Eventually, I started my own band called the Phantoms, and when Pete ‘s group moved on, we replaced them at the Normandy. Surprise surprise, now Sandy was all over me, and when after playing our first night I offered to drive her home, she excitedly accepted. At the time I was driving my Mom’s Nash Metropolitan just like the one pictured above, and I’ll never forget stopping somewhere dark to make out.Before long she was whispering in my ear that she wanted me and she wanted me right now. Ok, visualize this, here we are in a two-seater with her skirt hiked up to her waist, my pants down to my knees with a whole lot of panting and moaning going on. It was 35 below outside, so there was no way were we getting out of the car to “Do It In The Road.” There was also no way that could we open a door or a window to get a little leg room in our very cramped quarters. However, knowing that there is no rain check for this sort of thing, I was determined to complete my mission. I guess it was not meant to be though because even as cold as it was, I was sweating like a pig as I continued to try. Finally, I gave it up because as close as I was, that sweet prize I had dreamt about for so long was so close but so far away.
A FEW OTHER THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO WHINE ABOUT.
Instead of bitching about Trump non-stop, it would behoove the Democrats I would think, to spend a little time figuring out who they’re gonna run against him?
Is it fair to say that the shine is off the NFL as we wait for New England and Philly to play each other in the Superbowl? I think they may have seen their best days.
The world doesn’t owe you a thing; you owe it because after all, it was here first.
You can’t demand respect; you have to earn it.
Can you even begin to imagine how much money must have passed through Mr. Amazon’s hands during December?
I spent my younger days wishing I was older. Unfortunately, that wish was quickly granted. However, now that I’ve come to my senses and wish to return to my youthful times again, apparently nobody is listening.
The thing I find amazing about millennials, as smart as they think they are, they’re just as dumb about drinking as we used to be.
One of the differences between men and women is that men waste a lot of valuable time thinking about getting laid whereas women just do it.
Hey ladies, I think even you may agree that it should be a lot tougher for a woman to collect millions of dollars from a superstar athlete other than just talking him into not using a condom.
I wonder if Man would have ever attempted flight had he not seen a bird first?
The real reason radio is in trouble is because accountants don’t have ears.
If you need to know what a man is made of, just give him a little power.
I wish the folks on the right instead of just laughing at the left would throw out a few caustic one-liners themselves.
Only one person is listening to the radio, and that stops the moment someone else walks in the room.
Blonde women earn 7% more, how dumb is that?
I think it may be time to stop talkin’ and start doin’.
Beauty is costly.
If like my friend Bobby claims, the civil war was fought over the freeing of slaves, how come black people don’t mark the occasion with some sort of a celebration?
Speaking of the civil war, a lot of white people gave up their lives so I don’t buy that we’re all bad.
There can be no progress without change.
I don’t wanna marry the right woman; I want to marry the one I can’t live without.
When you shake hands with the devil, you just know it ain’t gonna end well.
I wonder why the people who spent most of their time growing up in a basement or garage learning how to play guitar think that they know how America should be run and worse, think we want to hear about it?
Do grown kids today think like we did that they’re much younger than their parents were at the same age?
I think they should hold the Pro-Bowl and the Superbowl in the same city which would make everything even bigger for everybody.
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