When I was in my late teens, I used to follow a band around called Johnny Lauzon and the Big Boppers because my friend Peter Proskurnik was in it. Pete played sax and was the one that eventually got my music career started.
One of the places the Big Boppers played every week was the Normandy Ballroom on Sherbrooke in downtown Winnipeg. While watching the band there one night, I spotted this beautiful girl named Sandy. She was very petite with pale white skin, and even though it didn’t match her name, she had beautiful jet black hair and I was smitten. Pete’s band played at the Normandy every Thursday, and every Thursday there I’d be trying to get Sandy to dance with me. Occasionally she’d throw me a bone and dance with me, but never for the slow ones. Mostly, she just ignored me.
Eventually, I learned how to play guitar and before long formed my own band called the Phantoms which eventually morphed into the Jury. Then when the Big Boppers moved on, we replaced them Thursdays at the Normandy. Surprise surprise, now Sandy was all over me, and when after playing there our first night and I offered to drive her home, she excitedly accepted. At that time not having my own, I was driving my Mom’s car which was a Nash Metropolitan just like the one pictured above. On the way to her place on that very cold January night, we stopped somewhere dark to make out and she was soon whispering in my ear that she wanted me and she wanted me right now.
Ok, visualize this, here we are in a tiny two-seater with her skirt hiked up to her waist, my pants around my knees with a whole lot of panting and moaning going on. Outside It was 35 below so if anything was gonna happen it would have to happen in the car. There was no way were we getting out to “Do It In The Road.” Even opening a door or window to get a little leg room was out of the question. However, knowing that there is no rain check for this sort of thing, I was determined to complete my mission. As cold as was outside, somehow we were so heated that we no longer needed the car’s heater.
Unfortunately, I guess it wasn’t meant to be because even as cold as it was outside, I was sweating prufusely. Finally, I gave it up because as near as I was to that sweet prize that I had dreamt about for so long, it was so close and yet still so far away.
Instead of bitching about Trump non-stop, it would behoove the Democrats I would think, to spend a little time figuring out who they’re gonna run against him?
Is it fair to say that the shine is off the NFL as we wait for New England and Philly to play each other in the Superbowl? I think they may have seen their best days.
The world doesn’t owe you a thing; you owe it because after all, it was here first.
You can’t demand respect; you have to earn it.
Can you even begin to imagine how much money must have passed through Mr. Amazon’s hands during December?
I spent my younger days wishing I was older. Unfortunately, that wish was quickly granted. However, now that I’ve come to my senses and wish to return to my youthful times again, apparently nobody is listening.
The thing I find amazing about millennials, as smart as they think they are, they’re just as dumb about drinking as we used to be.
One of the differences between men and women is that men waste a lot of valuable time thinking about getting laid whereas women just do it.
Hey ladies, I think even you may agree that it should be a lot tougher for a woman to collect millions of dollars from a superstar athlete other than just talking him into not using a condom.
I wonder if Man would have ever attempted flight had he not seen a bird first?
The real reason radio is in trouble is because accountants don’t have ears.
If you need to know what a man is made of, just give him a little power.
I wish the folks on the right instead of just laughing at the left would throw out a few caustic one-liners themselves.
Only one person is listening to the radio, and that stops the moment someone else walks in the room.
Blonde women earn 7% more, how dumb is that?
I think it may be time to stop talkin’ and start doin’.
Beauty is costly.
If like my friend Bobby claims, the civil war was fought over the freeing of slaves, how come black people don’t mark the occasion with some sort of a celebration?
Speaking of the civil war, a lot of white people gave up their lives so I don’t buy that we’re all bad.
There can be no progress without change.
I don’t wanna marry the right woman; I want to marry the one I can’t live without.
When you shake hands with the devil, you just know it ain’t gonna end well.
I wonder why the people who spent most of their time growing up in a basement or garage learning how to play guitar think that they know how America should be run and worse, think we want to hear about it?
Do grown kids today think like we did that they’re much younger than their parents were at the same age?
I think they should hold the Pro-Bowl and the Superbowl in the same city which would make everything even bigger for everybody.
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