After reading that Stephen Hawking claimed before he died that he’d done the math and had peered far and wide into the universe and there was no heaven, I thought that was bad enough, but then when the Pope said there was no hell, I knew it was time for me to head back to Church to find out what the hell was going on.
Being that it was Easter Sunday, my daughter Cami was home from college for the weekend so thankfully she came along. When we arrived early, it was already so crowded that we had to stand in a line for a while before being seated in the dimly lit auditorium with about a thousand other people. While waiting, we were given some little religious flags and told that we’d know exactly when to wave them during the service.When we finally got seated Cami, and I (pictured above) were just chatting with each other when suddenly a rock band featuring a chorus of whiskey-voiced singers exploded onto the stage. The group consisted of six singers, electric guitars, drums, keyboards, and two bass players who gave the bottom end the sound of thunder. Whew! The words the singers were singing were put up on giant screens above the stage, and they definitely weren’t the words to “Bringing In The Sheaves.” As colored spotlights flashed on and off us and the group, I couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to the Church I used to know? Then, all of a sudden there was a loud explosion, and a bunch of shiny colored streamers showered down upon us as the folks waved their little flags and sang along with the band.
The sermon which was done by a preacher with a sense of humor was all about Jesus of course who said amongst other things, “Don’t tell me about all the bad things you’ve done in your life, tell it to Jesus, I don’t wanna hear it.”
Sitting there listening to him talk about nothing but Jesus and the resurrection for his whole sermon, I couldn’t help but recall once hearing a rumor claiming that hidden deep in the bowels of the Vatican were some scrolls supposedly written by Jesus. In these sacred scrolls, it is said that Jesus wrote, “It’s not about me, it’s about my Father.”
OK LET’S GET ON WITH THE REST OF IT.
Speaking of religion, what did you think of the updated version of “Jesus Christ Superstar?”
Speaking of Jesus, ponder this, what if he’d been married?
Whatever happened to all those red light cameras?
I think it’s now gone full circle now from, “Never trust anybody over thirty” to “Never trust anybody under thirty.”
Knowledge is not a skill; it’s a never-ending learning thing.
Success and failure are never far apart.
I think a lot of people go to therapy just to learn how to deal with people who need therapy.
Me and most of my friends are against guns until we hear a one %er utter the words, “This isn’t personal it’s only business.”
When you finally have enough money what then?
Why does there seem to be more gay characters in TV sitcoms and dramas than there are in real life?
Thinking about things for a minute is more productive than talking about them for an hour.
Steve Jobs didn’t need to do any research to give us what we wanted.
I wonder what the female athletes in the National Senior Games in 2019 will think if Caitlyn Jenner once named the world’s best athlete shows up to compete?
With the rating success of the rebooted Rosanne all over the US except in New York and LA means to me that either New York and LA are out of step or the rest of America is?
No matter how quiet or lonely an LA street looks, there is no way you can make your way down it without having to get out of the way of an oncoming car.
Most successful on-air folks are not only very talented, but they are also very coachable.
How much money do you suppose rich people would give to charity if they couldn’t deduct it?
All white cops are not bad, and all black men are not good.
I think the extreme right and the far left cancel each other out which puts all the power in the hands of the people in between. You listening candidates?
I read somewhere that somebody is proposing that college athletes who leave early for the draft should be able to return to college with their scholarship intact if they don’t make it. Isn’t that like getting your money back if you don’t win the lottery?
Speaking of sports, now that college hoops are over, what the hell do we do until the NBA and NHL playoffs?
Most people who claim they know, don’t.
Maybe if the government stopped handing out welfare like candy they could afford to pay the teachers a little more.
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