My good friend Gary Russell has just completed doing one of those bucket list trips you only dream about. He and “Young Joan” left Vancouver in early June and camped their way across Canada. They’ve just arrived at mile 0 of the Trans-Canada highway which is in Newfoundland and is at the most easterly part of North America. Wow the Pacific to the Atlantic what a way to spend a Canadian summer!
Bill Stairs says the horns weren’t honking at the Hunny Bunny’s ass as she suggested while we were walking down the street in South Miami recently. He claimed they were all really honking at me out of sheer admiration because I was the lucky Man who was with the Woman with the great ass.
I have spent my whole life trying to be somebody but it turns out the only person I should have been trying to convince about it was myself.
Have you ever noticed that the people who continually try to drag you down are the people who are already below you.
Sometimes if you do some decent things in life God rewards you. If you are one of the few lucky ones to receive that great gift, your only goal should be to just enjoy your special reward and not worry about whether or not you deserve it. You do!
Bob Christy who used to be a legendary Womanizer until tamed by the lovely Janny Cakes was mentioning in a recent e mail that Gordie Howe was the only Hockey player ever to play professionally for 5 decades. Bob who now can only reminisce about his days as a fine cox man has put together his own version of “The Gordie” He sent out a small questionnaire to a bunch of us asking whether any of us has had the good fortune to have made love to women who were born in different decades. You know like from the 30,s 40,s 50,s etc. If you were lucky enough to have made love to at least 5 different women born in 5 different decades you win a “Gordie” plus of course everybody’s respect and admiration and maybe even a commemorative T- shirt which would be presented at the annual get together Bob is planning. Looking back at past lovemaking is not a difficult task for most Men because we unlike most Women can remember everyone we ever slept with mainly because we want to. After some deep thinking on Bobby’s part he won the first ever Gordie because he remembered once bedding a woman who was born in 1939 when she was home visiting from College back when Bobby was but a young high schooler. I wonder who was zooming whom huh! After probing my own past and being mostly a one Woman at a time Man unlike my friends some of who were world class womanizers, I surprisingly discovered I’m the only one in our group so far who has accomplished this feat not for 5 but an amazing 6 decades. Bob said he would give anything to tie my record but he knows Jan would kill him. The good news is I’m his new hero the bad news is I’ve still got all the scars and general lack of funds to prove my Gordie +1 .
Being a logical person I have a very difficult time believing something when it isn’t very logical. Lately though I’ve been thinking I may need to logically re think that and just find a logic that will better fit the situation at hand.
I spend most of my time looking for reasons to believe but all I keep coming up with are reasons I should leave.
I need the names of the fools who came up with the plan that even after a Country goes to war with you and you kick it’s ass who ever owned everything still owns everything after the war even though they were manufacturing bombs and stuff to hurt us. All the Native Americans know is the new plan must have gone into effect shortly after they were the ones who used to own everything.
Have you ever noticed we tolerate the truth from our friends but the truth from some of our enemies kinda sounds like insolence and needs to be dealt with.
I think Radio sounded better when there were a lot more regulations about content. The creative folks always figured out how to get around rules and by doing so produced some award winning Radio.
Most Women when entering a new relationship claim they haven’t made love in over a year.
Speaking of regulations I understand the banks who got us into the mess we’re in now because they also didn’t have enough regulations are screaming now for even less.
Special times are measured only in breathless moments, not by the hours, days, weeks, months, years, or decades.
I drive an old SUV which has seen better days and is starting to break down occasionally. The other day something shorted out and the windows were stuck down plus the windshield wipers and speedometer didn’t work. So I decided to drive it to the train station which is in the middle of the hood and took the train to my office in Ft. Lauderdale. After a full day I was ready to jump back aboard the train and head back to West Palm Beach but no matter where I looked I couldn’t find my keys. I got back on the train anyway and decided to take a cab from the train station to my place where I had a spare key. When I got to West Palm there were my keys hanging from the ignition with the windows all down and the doors unlocked unbelievable that it was still there. I bet the thieves were eying my truck all day long but figured this is a way too easy and must be a set up there’s gotta be some TV cameras somewhere. Damn that would have been the perfect solution for getting rid of my truck.
One of the four ways you die is when you stop learning. So I guess that must mean all experts are dead men walking.