The 5 Swordsmen.

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have worked with a lot of great radio guys who not only did well on the air but they also did very well with the ladies. I’m still in awe of them all so I now give you my top 5 radio swordsman of all time.

#5 Orly Knutson – Orly and I worked together for quite a few years back in Indy at WIBC where it’s rumored that he had sampled more than a couple of the ladies who worked in our building. Some folks even say that he was very close to a lot of his female fans and listeners. Orly recently told me that when he once asked me what I thought he should do to get his ratings up he claimed I had said … Orly just stick your dick in the mic! Surely that can’t be true.

#4 Russ Morley – Russ was our PD/Midday Man at WRMF in beautiful Palm Beach where I don’t think I can remember ever seeing Russ without a fine looking lady on his arm. Once in a while he was even kind enough to save one for me although I must admit that there were a couple of them whom I would have been much better off not meeting, but that’s another story best told over adult beverages.

#3 Bob Christy – I’ve worked with Bobby on several occasions all over America and really enjoyed cruising the bars with him until the ladies would come up and just push me out of the way so they could chat him up. Bob’s idea of marketing was to just to sit at a bar and wait for a woman to hit on him. One of these lovelies was named Beatrice from Venezuela. Beatrice was the one who clearly explained to me exactly how the game of love worked which is also better retold over adult beverages. Eventually though even the best swordsman are eventually brought down and it was the beautiful Janny Cakes who eventually did Bob in and now he is sadly a mere shadow of his former self.

#2 John R Edwards – I call J R the reluctant swordsman because he didn’t appear to want any of it but he sure took all of it.
J R did some fill in work for us in West Palm Beach while he was in between Major Market gigs and occasionally we would hang out at night at “Fridays” where he liked to play video games. He would sit there all scrunched over with his cap pulled down so far you could hardly see his face but even then women would say to me … he’s gay right. When I would tell them no they would grab him by the scruff of the neck and drag him out to their cars. I’ll never forget the time I flew in a highly energized female jock from New York named Linda to meet with me and J R to see if they had some chemistry going and if so maybe I would put them together as a morning team. Linda and I were waiting at the bar for JR and when I finally spotted him walking in she said … God I hope that’s him, ’cause I want to f**k him right now!

#1 Mark Parr – I’ve saved the best for last. I worked with Mark when I was but a pup back in Winnipeg and he got me my first job in radio so I owe him but I don’t owe him this because he was and maybe still is the greatest radio swordsman of all time. Mark in those days for what ever reason didn’t have a car so I would gladly drive him home which would always take a few hours because he would spot a pretty thing at a bus stop and in a panic would ask me to stop the car. He would go over and chat with her then they would both climb into the car and Mark would have me drive them to an apartment complex where Mark had a deal with the doorman. He would then ask me to wait while the two of them would disappear into the building for about 30 minutes then we would take her back to the same bus stop we picked her up at. We weren’t done yet because we would make at least two more stops where Mark would say, hey I know a nice lady here lets pop in for coffee. I never got any coffee because the two of them would soon disappear and we a short time later would be off to our next stop. I understand that Mark’s wife was very suspicious of him so as soon as I dropped him off she demanded that he make love to to her which he was always able to do.

I have a few honorable mentions like Gary Russell, Robert Murphy, Duke Roberts, Daryl “B”, Donny Burns, Jeff & Jer, Dandy Don Wright, Bill Gardner and Bobby Cole who were very close to making the list. I’m also pretty sure that you know lot of guys out there who are great swordsmen and I await your nominations but until then I’m nominating these 5 for the Coxsman Hall Of Fame and I salute them.

 

 
 

6 thoughts on “The 5 Swordsmen.

  1. Do not send this to Cakes…I don’t want to have to explain it all again. She takes no pride in her victory.

  2. Darryl B? You remember him don’t ya George? I recall partying with “B” once in Toronto when his wife was outside the house trying to get in. His girlfriend was in the living room wondering where he was. And Darryl was in the bedroom “auditioning”.

  3. I “get” the Russ Morley part from what I have heard…although he was always on the up-and-up with me–perhaps I wasn’t his particular cup o’ tea. Re: Dandy Don: one needed running shoes to sprint around the control room with him…all harmless, however. Murf? Yep, definite honorable mention as I was surprised he wasn’t in the top tier to begin with. FLaloha…Too Tall Vivianne Hall

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