Guitars & Radio & Wild Wild Women (Lying Eyes) Chapter LIV 2/24/20 Under Construction

I’m attracted
to the broken ladies
who are also smart
but not too crazy.

Friends warned me
a few were too young
But all I remember
was having fun
I’ve always heard that life at some point begins to slow down, but mine seems to be speeding up.
I still coach talent and advise a few radio stations, but now I also write a blog each week and am writing three books.
I also watched my daughter Cami graduate from college, saw my grandson Nathaniel pitch his first little league game in California, inducted Ron Chapman into the Hall Of Fame on national TV, was in a Emmy winning movie/documentary called “Naptown Rock Radio Wars” and even found a little time to attended a radio reunion in Winnipeg.
Did I leave anything out? Oh yeah, I fell in love for the 6th time.
Faster cars, older whiskey, and younger women have always been my Achilles heel, so when I met Laura, who was young and beautiful, drove a muscle car, drank Crown Royal, and listened to classic rock, I knew I was over.
Even today, I can still see her in walking back and forth behind the bar at my local Duffy’s when she was training bartenders.
Thinking now about it reminded me of the time when we were walking down the street in Miami, and all of a sudden, a bunch of car horns began honking. When I asked her what the hell they were honking at, she replied, “My ass!”
Anyway, as I said, I used to see her all the time at Duffy’s, but then all of a sudden, she just disappeared.
About six months later, though, when I was at a Duffy’s in Wellington, which was near where my daughter Cami was taking a gymnastic lesson. Suddenly Laura taps me on the back and asks if I remembered her?
When I said that, I did, she told me that she was in a bit of a bind.
It turns out that when she was at the Burger King across the street, someone stole her purse and was wondering if I would be kind enough to buy her a beer. I remember thinking that I needed no tale of woe to buy this beauty a beer.
As I said, Cami was taking a gymnastics lesson, so before leaving to pick her up, I wrote my phone number down on a napkin and told her that if she ever needed any help, please call me.
She told me later that I had her right then because she’s heard every pick-up line in the world but not that one. The only help she ever gets offered is from guys who want to help her was to help out of her clothes.
Looking back on my time with the Hunny Bunny (her code name), I now realize why I adored her so much. It was like I was hanging out with a guy except she didn’t look nor act like one; she just liked doing the same things guys like doing. (see photos above)

Over the years I’ve been involved with a few women who’ve managed to surprise me by saying naughty things like, “I wanna do something with you that you’ve never done with another woman, do you know that I’m not wearing anything under this dress, I want you to watch me while I shave all the way up, and do you wanna you see what I do to myself when you’re not around?”
The Hunny Bunny smoked them all though when she sent me a text, which read, “What do I have to do to get you to talk dirty?”
I was up most of the night sexting her and also wondering if this was the “bad girl” my dad had warned me about those many years ago.
The sexting was fantastic, but so was having an ordinary conversation with her. We often had so much to say to each other that we’d drive right by our exit.

It was during one of those conversations that she told me that her great grandfather was the youngest of the Younger Brothers rode with Jesse James. Instead of me wondering if this kind of stuff gets genetically passed down, I just thought it was very cool.1238949_10152129405159307_1190815280_n We had a great two-year run, and when we weren’t spending the weekend hanging out on the balcony checking out my view (see above), we were taking mini weekend vacations at resorts all over South Florida.
I was having a ball, and I couldn’t have been happier. Hell, not only did she teach me how to use “On Demand,” but she also showed me how to get directions on my phone.
The neatest thing that she may have taught me, though, was what Victoria’s Secret was.

It turns out that Victoria’s Secret encourages men to join their ladies in the dressing rooms (they sell twice as much) and even put a little stool in for them to sit on.
How many things do you suppose I sent back after sitting on that stool watching her try stuff on? However, what I’ve yet to figure out is how so little costs so much.
The Hunny Bunny was always somewhat mysterious, which was exciting in the beginning. Although when I started to notice that she’d get a little nervous whenever the police were around was and that she shunned publicity of any kind, it started to get to me.
Hey, one of the neat things about being with a beautiful woman was getting to show her off, but she never wanted to hang out with anybody.
I’m a jealous guy anyway, so when some of her explanations about what she was doing when she wasn’t with me didn’t add up, my demons kicked in. She claimed that most of our problems stemmed from my inability to handle our age difference, which may have been partially true, but knowing this was probably going to end badly; I ran for it by getting her mad at me.
Here’s to Laura, wow, what a ride!







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